Heaven Sent
by Hecate16
Summary: MARAUDER TIME PERIOD A lone girl, suppressed by the expectations of those around her, a lone man suppressed by his own. SNAPEOFC. READ AND REVIEW! CHAPTER 27!
1. I Believe You But My Tommy Gun Don't

**Heaven Sent__**

**__**

The Quarry**_  
  
_**

_I'm heaven sent,  
don't you dare forget.  
I am all you've wanted,  
what all the other boys all promised.  
Sorry I told. I just needed you to know.  
I think in decimals and dollars.  
I am the cause to all your problems,  
shelter from cold. We are never alone.  
Coordinate brain and mouth.  
Then ask me what's it like to have  
myself so figured out.  
I wish I knew...  
  
I hope this song starts a craze.  
The kinda song that ignites the airwaves.  
The kinda song that makes people glad  
to be where they are,  
with whoever they're there with.  
This is war.  
Every line is about,  
who I don't wanna write about anymore.  
Hope you come down with something  
they can't diagnose, don't have the cure for.  
Holding on to your grudge.  
Oh it's so hard to have someone to love.  
And keeping quiet is hard.  
Cuz you can't keep a secret  
if it never was a secret to start.  
At least pretend you didn't wanna get caught...  
  
we're concentrated on falling apart.  
We were contenders, not through in the fight.  
I was just wanna believe, I just wanna believe,  
I just wanna believe, in us.  
  
Oh, we're so c-c-c-c-c-controversial.  
We are entirely smooth.  
We admit to the truth,  
we are the best at what we do.  
and these are the words you wish you wrote down.  
This is the way you wish your voice sounds,  
handsome and smart.  
Oh my tongue's the only muscles on my body  
that works harder than my heart.  
And it's all from watching TV,  
and from speeding up my breathing.  
Wouldn't stop if I could.  
Oh it hurts to be this good.  
You're holding on to your grudge.  
Oh it hurts to always hafta be honest  
with the one that you love.  
Oh, to let it go...  
  
we're concentrated on falling apart.  
We were contenders, not through in the fight.  
I was just wanna believe, I just wanna believe,  
I just wanna believe.  
We're concentrated on falling apart.  
We were contenders, not through in the fight.  
I was just wanna believe, I just wanna believe,  
I just wanna believe, in us.  
  
This is the craze that only we can bestow.  
This is the price you pay for loss of control.  
This is the break in the bend;  
this is the closest of calls.  
This is the reason you're alone,  
this is the reason you breathe.  
  
We're concentrated on falling apart.  
We were contenders, not through in the fight.  
I was just wanna believe, I just wanna believe,  
I just wanna believe.  
We're concentrated on falling apart.  
We were contenders, not through in the fight.  
I was just wanna believe, I just wanna believe,  
I just wanna believe, in us._

_I Believe You, But My Tommy Gun Don't_ - **Brand New**

It was one of those pleasant summer days. The ones you always picture when the topic of summer floats into your mind during the frigid winter- bright, sunny, but with just enough of a breeze to keep you in comfort. It was most definitely not her own will by which she was held inside.

Lydia gazed out the dusty windows to the people who trotted along the paved stones of Diagon Alley. Couples walked hand in hand and smiling dumbly from time to time while children ran to and fro, returning to their parents at their own pleasure. Teenagers flocked the street in large packs, stopping from window to window to look at the odd assortments one would only find in the Alley. Of course, they never stopped there, at least not until the last week in August. Flourish and Blotts was not exactly the coolest place for the youth of the wizarding world to gather, thus leaving Lydia to file books and dust shelves on her own. That was certainly not her idea of a good time.

"Lydia, back to work," said a sharp voice. Lydia turned from the window to see her father filing books away on the used shelf. Her father was a tall, brusque man who favored her in looks. They shared the same brown hair, sharp features, and pale lips that tended to rest in a frown. He was much taller in height, reaching well over six feet while Lydia's height was categorized as average. Lydia had inherited her father's lanky limbs as well. One would not say she was pretty nor her father handsome. They were simply to be called plain.

Lydia nodded her head in response, though her father's back was now turned and continued to file away misplaced books. Occasionally, she sneaked a glance back at the street, only to be caught by her father's sharp eye. Curtly reprimanded, she moved steadily through her work. Random customers came in from time to time. Any in need of help were sent directly to her, and her father rung up their purchases. It was a simple process, performed every day, much to Lydia's boredom. Most of her summer days were dull and she longed to return to Hogwarts. The only enjoyable part of her day was lunch.

At twelve noon, Lydia left the shop for Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions next door to meet her best friend, Elladora Edgecomb. Elle was in the same year as Lydia, and the two shared a dorm, both being of Ravenclaw House. Madam Malkin was Elle's aunt on her mother's side, and decided to take up work there when she found Lydia would be working in Diagon Alley. It was an easy way for them to see each other, as they lived quite far a distance apart- Lydia above the bookshop and Elle somewhere in the Welsh countryside.

Lydia was greeted warmly by Madam Malkin, who went to the back of the shop to retrieve Elle. Elle had always caught people's eyes with her charming looks. Her long reddish-blond hair flowed down her back, framing stately features, and her large hazel eyes. She was the finest example of pureblood breeding, though not from the wealthiest of families, she was certainly well off. She came out in a stylish get-up of elegant blue robes, no doubt supplied by her aunt, and carrying a fancy handbag. She did look quite good, though made Lydia feel a bit uncomfortable. Lydia's plain blouse and skirt had nothing on Elle's outfit.

"Aunt May, I'm heading out to lunch," Elle called to the back of the store. A muffled reply was heard, but ignored as Elle waved her hand in disregard. She turned back and smiled at Lydia. "To the Leaky Cauldron, then?"

"Sure, it's up to you," Lydia said.

"Good, I've been dying for a butterbeer, and my horoscope in Witch Weekly said that I should pursue my wants for greater satisfaction in life," said Elle. Lydia shook her head softly at the remark. Elle had been obsessed with astrology since her first year, and was an avid believer in horoscopes and the like. Unfortunately, she sometimes depended on the horoscopes in Witch Weekly too much, like that time in fourth year when she bet all her galleons on the Hufflepuff- Gryffindor game because her horoscope said:

'Take a risk this week by putting something important on the line. You will receive great success and fortune from your actions. Your lucky color is yellow, lucky numbers are 3, 6, and 18.'

Gryffindor ended up winning, and she ended up broke, all her galleons in Sirius Black's pocket. She didn't go on any Hogsmeade trips for the rest of the year.

As the two walked along, Elle chatted merrily in her ear. Other than astrology, talking was easily the favorite of her activities. Lydia often wondered how the two ever became friends-herself so quiet and Elle so loud, but it worked. While Elle was a fervent speaker, Lydia was a fervent listener and listened gladly to all Elle's issues. Having none really of her own, she found Elle's petty problems quite interesting and sometimes comical. They were an odd pair who where somehow at sorts.

"…so Sirius Black came into the shop this morning with James Potter- did you know he's staying with him?" Elle gossiped pleasantly.

"Wait, who?"

"Sirius Black is living with James Potter! He ran away! You didn't know that?" she asked in disbelief. Apparently word was quite big that Sirius Black had left home.

"No," Lydia replied.

"Oh, really, Lydie! You need to get out more! Your father's been keeping you locked up in the dustbin too long! Don't you ever get anytime off? You work all day!" Elle stated in a very theatrical way, complete with the hand gestures she used when she felt especially passionate about something.

"August is coming up fast, and I need to help father get the store stocked before the mad school rush arrives. He needs me there," she supplied as an excuse. Elle rolled her eyes at this.

"Please, he doesn't need you there more than he needs me in there! You aren't even getting paid for all your busy work either! If I were you, I would quit!"

"He's my father. I can't just quit," Lydia said. Elle sighed in annoyance.

"That's just the problem! You can quit, but you won't! You let him push you around too much and you shouldn't take that! Just because he's your father, doesn't mean he controls your life!"

"Actually, Elle, it does. He has custody over me." She said logically. Elle threw her hands up in the air, and shaped them like a claw, before throwing them back down.

"Custody! That's no excuse! I know! Run away, and come work with me at Aunt May's shop! It'll be so much fun- we could share a room, maybe we could rent a flat! Oh, this is so exciting!" Elle exclaimed.

"You are out of your mind…" Lydia said, shaking her head.

"Hey, Sirius Black did it!"

"Sirius Black is a moron."

"No he isn't!" Elle said defensively.

"That's just because you thinks he's cute."

"I can't help it if he is attractive!"

"I'm sure your children will be very attractive also." Elle scowled and hit Lydia's arm.

"Hey, was that a joke? It better have been or I'll…!" Lydia rubbed her arm as the two finally reached the Leaky Cauldron. As they headed inside, Elle started numbering off the reasons why the relationship between her and Sirius Black would never work. Lydia just smiled softly to herself and shook her head. Elle was one piece of work…

They were greeted by Tom, who knew them now as regulars and ushered over to a table in the corner. Elle ordered herself the butterbeer she had been advised to pursue in her very dramatic, glamorous way, much opposed to Lydia's quiet request for a plain cranberry juice. Elle continued to chat as Lydia lazily half-listened, looking around the room at the different occupants. The area was crowded, it being lunch time. Lydia found many people she did not recognize- a flirtatious witch charming a graying wizard, a cloaked figure by the bar smoking on a wooden pipe, and a secretive couple stealing a kiss every few moments were among the most notable. They were also some who she recognized- a group of Hufflepuffs talking animatedly, a red headed couple with their two red headed sons, and a Slytherin from her own year sitting at the next table over.

"…Now if James asked me out, I would most definitely say yes. He's on the Quidditch team." Elle said taking a sip from her drink and running a finger down the menu.

"James Potter? You know he likes Lily Evans."

"Lily Evans!" she snorted, "Please! He's a pureblood, and she's- well, she's (no offense, Lydie) a mudblood! It's probably just some silly infatuation. Nothing will ever come of it. Plus she hates him." Elle added as an afterthought. It was true; Lily Evans made no secret of her feelings for James.

"No offense taken," Lydia said, holding up her menu in front of her face. Elle sighed in what sounded like annoyance and Lydia looked at her over the paper, "What?"

"Look who's next to us…" Elle said in a hushed groan. Lydia turned her head slightly,

so as not to appear obvious. Beside them was the Slytherin Lydia had noticed earlier. He was easily recognizable because of his strong features, reading a large tome as he twisted food around his plate with his fork. His lank, black hair covered most of his face except his prominent nose that hooked out of the natural curtain. Lydia had definitely seen him around the school and knew he was not well liked. How could she not know him? Severus Snape was the best student in the year.

"So?"

"Uhg- I hate him! He's such a prat!" she whispered vehemently. Lydia looked from her to him and back again skeptically.

"Has he ever even said anything to you?" she asked.

"No, but- he's really awful to James." Elle said. Lydia gave her a hopeless look and put the menu back in front of her face, "No, really! Just look at him! Do you think he even washes his hair? And look at his robes! Why, Aunt May would faint of disgust just to see them!"

"Elle, he probably hears you." Lydia said, pretending to read the prices of meals. Really she was trying to peak a glance at the boy. She was a bit worried over Elle's big mouth for she had heard quite a bit about the true extent of his knowledge.

"No, he doesn't!" she hissed, trying to be quiet but actually being rather loud. Snape was now staring blatantly at the two girls, an unpleasant look donning his features. Elle smiled nervously at him and gave an awkward wave, while Lydia turned back to the menu, utterly embarrassed.

Abruptly, the boy stood up, jerking his chair backwards, and threw a few stray coins on the wooden table as payment. He sent the girls one last penetrating look before stalking out of the restaurant, black robes billowing behind him. Lydia looked straight to the ground, berating herself for the upset they had probably caused him. Of course, she was almost sure his talent in the Dark Arts would bring them into their own payment. And though the floor had suddenly become very interesting, Lydia's gaze was lifted up by the sound of giggling.

Across the table, Elle hunched over, grasping her stomach with one hand and trying to contain the laughter amounting from her lips with the other. Her blond hair swung as she shivered in amusement.

"It's not funny," Lydia said. Elle looked up at her and with a long sigh shortened her laughter.

"Oh, lighten up Lydie!" Elle scolded playfully with a wave of her hand.

"He was angry,"

"He's just oversensitive, the wanker," Elle said, but as her eyes widened and she lifted her hands, Lydia sensed her falling into one of her famous ramblings, "Did you see the look on his face, though?! I'll just have to tell James about this! He'll get a real kick out of it! I hope he comes back into the store again soon, but he just came in yesterday. I want to see him before school starts, though. Do you think I would sound to desperate if I owled him? Would he actually come to see me? I would think so…" As she paused to take a breath, Lydia jumped in as she had learned to after so much time spent with Elle.

"I think I'm going back to the store now," she said, placing two sickles on the worn wood.

"I know he-" Elle stopped and looked up at Lydia, "What? Are you leaving?"

"Yes."

"But, we're having lunch," she said. Lydia shrugged.

"I'm really not that hungry."

"But we always have lunch together, you can't just go."

"I don't feel like lunch today… It's not the end of the world, Elle." Lydia said, pushing in her chair. Elle looked at her with emotion swimming in her eyes- hurt, confusion, and anger.

"Fine, just go."

"I'll see you later though."

"Just go," she said firmly.

"Good-bye…" Elle did not reply, but turned back to her butterbeer and looking anywhere but Lydia. Lydia watched her for a moment before turning and walking slowly to the door.

As she stepped out into the fresh air of Diagon Alley, she frowned to herself. She needed some time alone, without the constant chatter, or being smoldered by dusty tomes. A nice walk would do her well. She had about fifteen minutes before she had to return to the shop and that seemed plenty enough time.

Lydia entered the shop twenty minutes later, feeling much relieved. The walk had given her sometime to think freely without being clouded by the voices of her most recent company. She had yet to receive her O.W.L. results, and was busy mulling over it. She needed to make it into the top classes. How else would she be able to get out of this musty bookshop?

"You're late," Her father came out from behind a bookshelf holding a piece of parchment in his right hand.

"I know," Lydia replied, "What is that?" she gestured to the paper.

"The book list,"

"Mine?"

"No, the one Dumbledore sends ahead," he said, handing her the parchment. She skimmed it quickly picking out any new list members.

"What are these 'Standard Book of Spells'? There's one for each year." Her father snorted, in what sounded like disgust.

"They're absolute rubbish. The whole layout of them is ridiculously amateur."

"What happened to the other books they used?" she questioned.

"I don't know, but I bet the ministry had something to do with it. I've heard rumors that some people thought the old books gave to much information about the Dark Arts, and in times like these, people are fussy about that sort of thing." He explained. She nodded and moved into the back room, looking through their stock.

"We'll need to order some of them then. We don't have enough here. The other books we are fine with. I'll send an owl to Obscurus Books. How many do you think we'll need?" She shouted from the back room.

"How many do we have?"

"Fifty or so,"

"Three hundred, then," Lydia snatched a piece of parchment off the shelf, and scribbled a quick note to the publishers ordering the needed books. She folded it neatly, and dropped some blue wax, sealing it with an emblem of two crossing quills. Stepping back out into the shop, she whistled softly. A barn owl with only one eye swiftly came to rest on her shoulder.

"Take this Obscurus Books, Odin," she told the bird, tying the letter to its foot. The owl cooed sharply and took off through the window as Lydia opened it. She watched as the bird flew off above the street, praying that he had a safe trip. The publisher was not far away, only down the Alley, but Odin was getting older and with only one good eye, was having trouble flying. Odin was not hers, but her father's, and the bird dated back before she was even born.

Lydia sighed as the bird moved out of her sight, and turned back to the shelf of books she had been working on before lunch. Once again she found herself painted in dust, coughing lightly at every breeze that drove it into her lungs. She was glad when a few customers came into the shop, asking for help, and taking her away from her regular duties. Around three o'clock, as she finished up her work on the shelf, Odin came back with a response.

The bird flew into the shop through the open window, and landed on the front desk in front of her father, who gently took the parchment off Odin's foot. He broke the green seal, and putting on his spectacles, read through the note.

"Lydia," he said, looking up, "I have to go down the street to pick up the new order. Watch the shop."

"Alright," she replied. He would only be gone an hour at most. She would have no problem looking over the shop as she doubted many people would come in. Tuesdays were always slow. Her father nodded, pocketed his wand, and went out the door, walking briskly down the street.

As she saw he was gone, Lydia moved to the desk, running her index finger along the wood, collecting dust. She frowned at her dirty finger when she lifted it up. Her father was always such a mess. She took the stacks of books and parchments off the desk one by one, laying them on the ground, before running upstairs to find a rag. She wiped down the desk carefully, leaving the mahogany with shine when she finished and began putting away the old occupants of the desk neatly. As the pile on the ground deteriorated to half its original size, the bells on the door jingled. Lydia, kneeling on the ground behind the desk, looked over the wood expecting to see her father, but found herself far from correct.

"Is Mr. Lachlan available?" Severus Snape asked in a superior tone, making Lydia frown. She was sure that he had not been happy about their last encounter, if you could call it that. He did not appear too pleased to see her, judging by the scowl on his face. Lydia stood up, brushing any mess from her black skirt and put on her best 'professional' face.

"No, he is not. Do you need help finding something?" she said curtly, trying her best act in the way her father did- brisk, short, but pleasant.

"I was given directions only to speak to him for the materials I am in need of," he drawled, turning his nose up at her. Lydia tried best to ignore it. No matter how unpleasant he was going to act, he was a customer all the same and she had to rise above it.

"I'm sure I could supply you with whatever you are searching for," Lydia said, giving him a forced smile.

"I highly doubt that," his voice dripping with arrogance. She frowned again.

"_Excuse me_, but I assure you that I would be just as much help as Mr. Lachlan," she snapped. She knew just as much about the bookstore as her father, if not more! Why should she take this kind of behavior from him?

"Lydia! Take these boxes to the back room." A sharp voice came from the doorway. Lydia looked past the other teenager to see her father, glaring at her like she had done something wrong. She looked back at Snape, before nodding and walking over slowly, taking the heavy boxes from her father and carrying them to the back room.

She shut the door behind her, with just a crack left open. Slowly, she opened the boxes and began to categorize books together while trying to make out bits of the conversation outside.

"I apologize for the inconveniences, Severus. There is no excuse for my employee's behavior." She heard her father say in his deep, crisp voice.

Employee?! Was that all she was, now?

"It's perfectly understandable," Snape said.

Perfectly understandable? It was him who came in acting like he owned the place!

"Now, what can I do for you, Severus?"

"I have a list of books supplied by Mr. Jiggers that I am in need of."

Lydia peered out of the crack, catching a glimpse of the young man handing her father a piece of parchment, covered in red ink. Her father took it, and read it over, nodding, and walked to the farthest end of the store to the Dark Arts section, Snape trailing after. Mr. Lachlan waved his wand in a serious of complicated twists and muttered something unrecognizable before stepping between the two shelves, disappearing into the darkness, leaving Snape standing idly. He came out minutes later, carrying a stack of books, and brought them over to the desk.

"I don't carry the last book. That's something you'd have to go to Knockturn Alley for. I'm sure Borgin has it, along with the likes." Mr. Lachlan said, ringing up the purchases.

"I'll check there." Snape had moved in front of the desk.

"The school list just came into day, if you want to pick up some of your books. You a sixth year now, is it?" Her father asked gruffly. Snape nodded.

"Yes, but I will pick up my books later."

"Of course," The older man stroked his mustache and wrote something down, "That all comes to sixteen galleons." Snape reached onto his black robes, pulling out the needed amount and handed them to the other man. He took the brown bag that now held his purchase.

"Thank you, Mr. Lachlan."

"Your always welcome, Severus… and tell Mr. Jiggers I said hello," Lydia turned away, and back to the work. She listened close for her father, who sounded like he was still at the front desk.

Eventually, all the boxes were unpacked and she moved out into the store, putting them out quietly, trying not to draw attention. She feared a lecture about her "behavior" towards that awful git. Not paying close enough attention to where she was going, she stubbed her toe on a table and yelped, causing her father to look up from the desk, and walk through the shelves to where she was.

"I forgot about you." He said with an unpleasant look. She set the books she was holding down on the table, and looked up at him.

"I apologize," she said softly.

"You should be!" he hissed, "Severus Snape is one of my best customers and I don't need you ruining it! Not only does he make the most expensive purchases, he works at Slug and Jiggers! I lose him, I lose Mr. Jiggers! I can't afford that right now, not in times like these!"

"I didn't mean-"

"I don't want excuses!" he cut her off, "You do as you're told. You treat the customers with respect. You treat me with respect. I don't know what's come over you recently. Talking back, and running off, coming in late! I won't tolerate it! Not in my shop!"

Lydia looked down to the floor.

"I understand sir."

"You'd better, or you can forget about any more lunch breaks. That trollop you keep hanging around isn't doing you any good! I don't want you to see her anymore."

"But, father, she's a pur-"

"And you are not!" he hissed, "Do not try to hind behind her! It will not save you!"

She nodded slowly, "You are right, I apologize,"

"Don't let it happen again!" he said, then turned on his heal and back to his own work. Lydia finished putting the books away in silence, trying her best not to care. Soon, the sun set, and the darkness came to cloak the people of Diagon Alley, and Lydia was to be found upstairs on her bed, going through an old book, taking notes by the candle light. She did it every night, staying up late into the wee hours of the morning, studying history to its earliest date. She would get of here if it was the last thing she would do! Mysteries were just waiting out there, ready to be solved.

So, that's the first chapter… tell me what you think. **REVIEW! Please!**


	2. Petrol and Chlorine

**Heaven Sent**

Petrol and Chlorine

_Sinking through dark black holes  
It's never gonna end  
Open gash in my ribcage  
It's never gonna mend  
  
Take another picture of the wall  
Sinking deeper every time I fall  
  
Each day ends quicker  
And my mind gets slower too  
As my life just fades away  
I wouldn't have a clue  
  
Take another draw out from the shelf  
I'm too weak to do it by myself  
  
Though you had the world at your feet  
You could see it I was blind  
Had the perfect job called life  
You didn't like it you resigned  
  
Brain's a square of grass  
Growing on petrol and chlorine  
  
On petrol and chlorine  
You know just what I mean_

_Petrol and Chlorine-_ Silverchair

-----

She was only half awake, sinking into the feather mattress beneath her, sunlight painting designs across her night dress. Moisture dripped off her body, the droplets rolling down her forehead. Early in the morning and it was already ridiculously hot.

Propping up on her elbows, Lydia looked over to her clock that read six o'clock. In her mind it was far too early too get up, but would she fall back into the pillows, giving way to slumber? No, today was the first day of August, and there was just too much to do downstairs.

She sighed, rubbing the back of her hand over her eyelids, attempting to remove any sleep leftover. Kicking her lanky legs off the bed, she stood up. The tattered nightdress she wore, once white, was yellowed and much too small for her. She pulled it down harshly, before heading down the hallway to the washroom. She quickly proceeded through her daily routine, throwing on another plain black skirt and white blouse.

Stepping into the tiny closet her father called a kitchen, she rummaged through the cabinets, searching for something edible, and failing brutally. The only objects in there were a few random potion ingredients of her father's, and (much to her own disgust) a dead cockroach. Her nose twitched as she snatched it up and threw it away with scrap piece of parchment. It seemed as though she would have to go without breakfast this morning, much to her stomach's dismay that was now grumbling. She hadn't eaten anything last night as punishment for misplacing a book in the wrong shelf and causing her father and his customer a great deal of grief.

It was a rather unpleasant thought, going without food for any longer. Maybe she would be able to slip out and find an open restaurant or café to eat at without her father noticing. She had some money, not a lot, but some. She would just be careful what she ordered.

Lydia crept downstairs, looking for any signs of her father who she found sitting at as desk. She slithered a round about way to the door, through the bookshelves, trying not to gain her father's attention. Silently, she slipped through the door and out into the Alley, which was bustling with the rush hour of people of all different kinds heading to work. She easily fell into the crowds, swallowed by the different colors, making it hard for her to spot.

Having lived above the Alley for her whole life, Lydia knew the geography quite well. There was a small café of sorts a few shops down that she was sure was open for breakfast. If not, there was always the Leaky Cauldron.

Soon, the restaurant came into view, a dark, small building on the corner of Knockturn and Diagon Alley. A black sign swung over Lydia's head in the breeze, ornamented with the carving of a melancholy bird under spidery, forest letters: The Augurey's Nest.

Through the stained glass windows, she could see some movement and dim lights. Deciding it must be open she moved over to the door. As she reached out to grab the handle, another hand beat her to it, and pulled it open for her.

"Thank you," she said, looking back to the person who held the door. Behind her was a man of tall stature, long blond hair flowing down his back. He wore robes of the finest quality, holding himself proudly. Somehow, Lydia had already found respect for this man.

"You are quite welcome," he said politely, giving her a charming smile. She smiled back and stepped through the door way. It was cool inside, much to her relief, and dimly lit by green, floating candles. The floor was done in a dark mosaic and the walls a deep shade of green.

A waitress with dressed in green and black robes promptly came over to her.

"Table for one?" she asked.

"For two, Ms. Lachlan will be dining with me today." The man said. Lydia looked at him in confusion, and unease. Who was this man and how did he know her name?

"Of course, Mr. Malfoy, right this way," the waitress said, leading them over to a nice table in the corner. Mr. Malfoy pulled out the chair for Lydia and she sat down stiffly in it. Malfoy was a great pureblood family. What would he want with her, a half-blood for that matter?

"The regular, Mr. Malfoy?"

"Yes, of course, and some for my friend also," He said, sitting down.

"Your meal should be ready momentarily," she nodded, and walked away to a door on the other side of the room. Lydia's gaze followed her, before turning back to Mr. Malfoy who was blatantly staring at her with his stormy grey eyes. She returned his stare nervously, trying her best to look somewhat dignified.

"I wish to thank you, Mr. Malfoy, for inviting me to share a meal with you," she said politely. He smirked at her.

"It was no problem at all, my dear. Tell me, how are you?" he drawled.

"I'm well… and you, sir?"

"Oh, Ms. Lachlan, this isn't about me. It's about you."

"Of course…" she said anxiously. He was somehow no longer the dignified man who held open the door for her. He was odd and somewhat disturbing. His presence was starting to make her very uncomfortable.

"How is your work at Flourish and Blotts?" he asked, interested.

"It's fine."

"Good, good, and your father's been treating you well, has he?"

"Yes."

"You seem to have grown quite a bit since last I saw you." He pointed out. Lydia nodded, but was sure she had never seen him before today. "Excited for school, I'm guessing? I hear you have quite the knack for History of Magic."

"Yes…I-"

"Two cups of English tea and two orders of sausage and raison toast." The waitress said, plopping down a two plates of the described meals.

"Thank you," Mr. Malfoy said. The waitress gave a short bow and walked to another table to take an order. Mr. Malfoy took a sip of tea before turning back to the conversation.

"Tell me, how much do you know about the Giant Wars?" he asked with genuine curiosity- almost too genuine.

"Quite a lot actually. I've been able to get a hold of some scripts from the early 1800s narrating the Wars themselves," she explained, as he nodded along.

"These scripts… how did you come across them?"

"Well, just here and there…" she said vaguely. He nodded again, sipping his tea once more.

"Yes…" Reaching into his robes, he took out a silver pocket watch and opened it, reading the time with a cluck of his tongue, "Oh, dear… I'm afraid I have to be on my way."

"What time is it, sir?" she asked, worriedly. She had barely talked to the man. How much time could have passed? Would her father have noticed her absence?

"It's about seven o'clock, and I am afraid I have an appointment at the Ministry… here, take this to pay for the meal, will you?" he said, standing up and handing her a velvet bag of coins.

"That's really not nesse-"

"Posh, don't be absurd. Take the money. It's the least I can do."

"Thank you," she said taking the bag, "I had a pleasant time dining with you, sir."

"As did I, my dear. We really must do this again when I am not I such a rush. I really must be on my way…" he said, looking to the door.

"Please, let me not delay you any longer. And thank you, once more."

"No, thank you, my dear. I hope to be seeing you soon." He said, with a slight bow.

"Good-bye,"

"Farewell, Ms. Lachlan," he said, exiting the restaurant with his stylish gait. Lydia's eyes followed him out, not sure what to make of the man. He seemed so stylish and sophisticated, yet showing kindness to her… or was there more? How had he known so much about her? It was odd… and rather unnerving.

Turning back to her food, she filled her stomach hastily, not wanting to be late. The waitress brought over the bill and she paid with the money Mr. Malfoy had granted her. When she had supplied the payment due, she found there was still quite a bit of cash jingling in the purse. She sighed, being somewhat bothered by having to return it to him. She was not sure that she even wanted to speak with Mr. Malfoy again.

Maybe she wouldn't return it… she had been wearing her mother's old school robes for years. Why not get a new pair?

With that, she wandered down the pavement of Diagon Alley, back to Flourish and Blotts to be smothered by the must. It was really all she could do…

-----

"Lydia, it looks like your Hogwarts letter has arrived."

Lydia looked up from a stack of books to her father, holding a letter in hand. She smiled and jumped up, taking the note extended to her and ripping it open.

"Well?" her father asked, looking at the papers expectantly.

"Seven O.W.Ls," she replied, reading the paper, "Arithmancy, Ancient Runes, Astronomy, Charms, History of Magic, Herbology, and Potions. I got Acceptable in Transfiguration and a Poor in Defense Against the Dark Arts." She finished with a frown, and looked to the ground. Mr. Lachlan shook his head, and just turned and walked away, muttering to himself in disgust. She stood for a moment taking it all in. A Poor in Defense Against the Dark Arts? How would she ever get into the Ministry with that on her manuscript?

Slowly and silently, she went to the textbook shelf, picking out all the books she needed in a glum manner. Occasionally, she would look over to see her father glaring at her, the disappointment apparent in his eyes. All she wanted to do was make him happy. He needed to be happy again. Ever since her mother had died, things had been different.

Carrying a new stack of books, she brought them upstairs and placed them carefully in her trunk. She would have to be getting the rest of her supplies soon, but she would leave that for another day. For now, she had to face the grim, oblivion of the shop and her father. Sighing, she headed back downstairs.

-----

Something was wrong.

Lydia put the book she had been reading down by her side. She heard it again, closer this time. Someone screamed. Hurriedly, she threw the thin sheets off herself and scurried to the window. What was happening?

She heard another scream, but it was soon muffled. She could not make out if it was a man or a woman. Moving the curtain back, she peered out through the glass. Suddenly, there was a flash of green light.

Silence.

Suddenly, she saw it. Rising slowly into the sky, polluting the stars with its unearthly glow was the Dark Mark. She had seen it only once before.

The night her mother died.

-----

Lydia did not sleep that night. She had lingered by the window only a little while more after she had seen the Mark. She stayed just long enough to see the random blurs of Death Eaters run past, and later the Ministry workers arriving in the Alley.

Returning to her bed, she looked over at her clock. It was a quarter past midnight, and her eyes would not close. She tried to sleep, telling herself the Ministry would take care of it, that the Death Eaters were gone, that she was safe. Five minutes later she had run downstairs to make sure the wards were up and the doors were locked. They were, like every night before, but she still had a sense of unease.

She wanted to talk to her father, to run to his bedroom as she did in a many a summer's storm long ago. She wanted him to sooth her fear, to tell her all would be fine. But she knew the truth. She knew he would never try to hide it, try to make it all better. It hadn't been that way for a long time now. Why did she wish so badly for it to be? Hadn't she gotten used to it, his coldness, his distance? Why did she ache for his well attention? She was far better off than most, whose parents were gone, whose parents they had never met, whose parents beat them, abused them. Why did she feel so worse off?

It is better to never have love than to lose it all together.

-----

When Lydia walked downstairs the next morning, she found her father being interrogated by a Ministry official. She stood against the wall, willing herself to hear the conversation.

"I was asleep," her father said. There was a grunt, then the scratching of quill on a parchment.

"Have you seen anyone suspicious in the shop here, Mr. Lachlan," the official questioned.

"Not by my standards, no,"

"Any odd going-ons in any of the other shops?"

"None that I know of,"

"How's your daughter?"

"What? She's- she's fine. I don't see how that has any bearing on the situation."

"Just wondering. I haven't seen her since Kath passed. She's going to Hogwarts, right?"

"Yes, she's a sixth year now," The more her father spoke the more her he seemed to want to be rid of the conversation, but the Ministry official kept on talking.

"That's great. She's a good student, I bet. Always a bright kid, that one. She still want to be an Unspeakable?" he asked.

"No, no, she's going to work in the shop,"

"But I mean, after she gets out of school, coz I could probably put a good word in for-"

"No, she will be working in the shop,"

"Oh, well, that should be a good job for her. Taking after her father…" The man sounded a bit disappointed.

"Yes, it should… is that all then?" Her father replied.

"Yeah, yeah it is… thanks for all your help, Mr. Lachlan,"

"Anytime, Mr. Dickenson," He said it anything less than polite. There were footsteps, and the bell on the door rang.

"Bumbling idiot," She heard her father mutter, and then his footsteps which suggested he moved behind the desk.

Thinking over what she had just heard, she frowned. She remembered Mr. Dickenson. He had always been so nice to her, especially when they had taken her to the Ministry for questioning. He had even inquired about her. She didn't understand why her father had mistreated him, but then again, things had changed.

Sighing, she ran a hand through her hair. Her father would never let her become an Unspeakable. She had never brought it up to him in fear that he would be upset, but to her him tell someone else it was out of the question was distressing. She didn't even want to work in the shop now. Why would she want to after Hogwarts? Would she never leave here, forever encased by the old tomes that held her prisoner? Sighing again, she slowly walked down the remaining stairs, stepping into the middle of the shop.

"You'll not be going out today," That was her greeting. She nodded.

"What shall I do about the rest of the supplies I need?" Lydia asked. Tomorrow was September first. She mentally berated herself for procrastinating. Now, she may never get her things. What about those new school robes she was planning on getting?

"It's too dangerous."

"Dangerous? There are Ministry people everywhere! What criminal in his right mind would attempt to kidnap me?" She asked, receiving her father's glare.

"Are you talking back?" he hissed. She looked to the ground.

"No, sir," she replied meekly.

"What was that?"

"No, sir," she said louder. She looked up to see her father's nod before he moved to the back room.

"Victor Jones was murdered last night, in case you were wondering," he said, walking. Lydia frowned.

"I was wondering actually. He was a muggle born?" Mr. Lachlan stopped and turned to see look at her, an unfamiliar emotion showing through his eyes- fear?

"A half blood," he corrected. She looked at him, feeling the same fear growing in her chest. A half blood? The Death Eaters didn't go after half bloods, only muggle borns, right? Why were they suddenly killing them? "They want their world to be pure. They will kill anyone who does not meet their standards, including you… I can't have you prancing around up and down the Alley anymore. These are dangerous times and you may well be a target." Her father answered for her. She nodded.

"That still doesn't help the issue of my school supplies. I need to get them by the end of the day… can't you come with me… just to be sure I'm alright?" Lydia asked hesitantly. She was getting bolder after her father's show of some affection.

"No, no I won't be able to go with you. Someone has to look after the shop. No, I'll not be going with you," All traces of the kind emotion that had been in his voice. He was the same as he always was. It was foolish to think for a change.

"What if I went out with Elle? Surely I would be safe-"

"NO! You will no more of that little whore! Just yesterday I saw her chasing after Sirius Black! Sirius Black! A blood traitor! I don't want you hanging out with the wrong people, Lydia! You can't draw attention to yourself! They came after your mother and they'll come after us if you just take one step out of line!" He spat fiercely, pronouncing each word profusely as he always did when he was angry.

"But-"

"And don't talk back to me! I'm getting very irritated with your attitude of late. You think you can just say whatever you want, whenever you want. It doesn't work like that!"

"I sorry," she said staring to the ground. Mr. Lachlan rubbed his jaw and looked at her, speaking more softly,

"You should be, and I know it's hard for you to do what I request of you, but I'm only doing it to help you. It's for your benefit, not mine."

"I know,"

"I just can't let you lose, not in times like these, not with_ him_ out there," he said.

"I understand, Father,"

"Good, I'm glad… and don't worry, I've arranged someone to take you out shopping for your things." He added, walking over to the desk and picking up some papers. Lydia stood in confusion.

"Who?" she asked, as her father looked up at her.

"He's a fine boy, in your year at school, I do believe. Severus Snape, I think you know him." He said casually.

"Snape? You're sending me off- alone- with Severus Snape? He'll probably murder me before we make it to Gringotts!" she said in disbelief. Was he actually going to make her spend the day with that lunatic?

"Lydia," her father warned, but she paid no heed. This was too much. There was no way she was going out with Snape!

"Are you mad? You won't let me go shopping with Elle, but you'll have me dragged along by that- by that DEATH EATER!" Of course, she didn't now for a fact that Snape was a Death Eater, but she had heard quite a bit about him to guess that he was one or about to come one at least. She wasn't going to put herself in the hands of a boy who knowledge in the Dark Arts excelled beyond the DADA teacher at Hogwarts, Professor Hawkins.

"I can assure you I am no Death Eater," hissed a dangerous low voice from behind. Lydia's face dropped and she turned around slowly.

"Hello, Severus," she said miserably.

----

A/N

So, what did you think? I want some input on if you like where the story is going. I swear that there is going to be more Snape in the future. I just need to get all the beginning rubbish out of the way. The story is not going to focus so much on Lydia once it gets going.

Thanks to my great reviewers. It is completely appreciated. In fact your review got be motivated to go and write some more, so if people want me to update quickly, you're going to have to review. I know, I'm horrible.

Please check out my other story, Storms on my author page. It's a Draco/Ginny fic if you're interested.

And now, since I am not above begging for reviews.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW!


	3. Walking Downtown

**Disclaimer- I don't own anything except Lydia. J.K. owns everything else. Don't sue me. I'm not making any money. Disclaimer applies for all chapters.**

****

**Heaven Sent**

Walking Downtown

_We were walking downtown yeah  
My favorite part of town  
(walking downtown)  
We were walking downtown yeah  
My favorite part of town  
(walking downtown)  
Through the night  
We were waiting for a sign  
Maybe rendered in the darkened sky  
Drawn by imaginary lines  
Connecting radiant points of light  
(please don't go)  
Cause you showed up with your hair down  
I might not sleep tonight  
We were walking downtown yeah  
My favorite part of town  
(walking downtown)  
We were walking downtown yeah  
My favorite part of town  
(walking downtown)  
Lift your gaze from the pavement  
From the streets  
That we've crossed a thousand times before  
Dry your eyes  
There are birds singing on lamp posts  
They don't know what all your crying's for  
(please don't go)  
And I'm sure that I've not seen  
The Christmas lights this bright before  
We were walking downtown yeah  
My favorite part of town  
(walking downtown)  
We were walking downtown yeah  
(walking downtown)  
My favorite part of town  
(walking downtown)  
We were walking downtown yeah  
(walking downtown)  
My favorite part of town  
(walking downtown)  
We were walking downtown yeah  
(walking downtown yeah)  
My favorite part of town  
(walking downtown)_

-_Walking Downtown_, Copeland

-----

Hello, Severus," she said miserably.

Oh, the glare he was giving! She was sure that it would make her own mother turn in the grave. He was standing by the door, dressed in his trademark, black robes. Not matter how warmly he was dressed on this summer day; he still looked as cool as ever.

"Hello, Lydia," he said, frost dripping in his voice, "Mr. Lachlan,"

"Ah, Severus, it's good to see you again. I hope that this whole- occasion- is not an inconvenience?" Mr. Lachlan greeted pleasantly. Lydia's frown dropped even further. What did her father see in Snape that he did not see in her?

"Not at all, Mr. Lachlan," he said, directing another glare at Lydia who looked straight to the ground.

"Good, good… well, how about I get your books together, Severus and you can just and pick them up when you drop Lydia off? Does that sound alright?" Lydia crossed her arms like she was hugging herself and took a small glance at her father, then directing her gaze back to the red carpet. Her father had never gotten her books together… why was Snape receiving the special treatment she had never had?

"That will be fine,"

"Good, good… I'm afraid I have to get back to work. Things to do… so, I shall you around six?" Her father said, walking back to the desk. Severus nodded.

"Of course, thank you, Mr. Lachlan" he turned to the door and held it open, staring at Lydia. She accepted his gaze, peering into his coal black eyes. She stepped forward, walking through the open doorway out to the sunlight street. He followed after her, shutting the door behind him.

"Where-uh… did you want to go anywhere in particular first?" she asked him awkwardly, not looking at him, but out into the middle of the crowds, trying to spot anyone to save her.

"Shouldn't we stop at Gringotts first?" he asked condescendingly. She frowned.

"Right…"

The two walked to the bank in silence, Snape always looking straight ahead at the destination, while Lydia's gaze wandered looking from side to side at the passing shops. Occasionally she would look over at a Snape, just to see if he'd look back, but he never did.

Inside Gringotts was bustling with people but that was to be expected. Lydia followed Snape up to the first counter they saw clear, greeting the goblin politely.

"Your keys?" the goblin asked. Snape fumbled through his robes, taking out a golden key from one of the inside pockets as Lydia quickly retrieved her own key from her blouse pocket. They both showed their keys to the goblin who nodded and called over another goblin to take them to their vaults. The new goblin led the two down to a narrow stone passageway lit only by the flaming torches on the walls. The goblin whistled, summoning a small cart that came speeding up to meet them. The goblin hopped in first leaving Snape to help Lydia into the cart, much to her own inner protest, but she kept quiet and waited for him to climb in as well.

Suddenly, the cart lurked, hurtling off into the darkness, making continuous twists and turns, constantly moving downward and just as quickly as the ride had started it stopped- abruptly- in front of a small door.

"Stay in the cart," Snape commanded Lydia, who scowled. Who was he to tell her want to do? He handed his key to the goblin who unlocked the door. Though still sitting in the cart, Lydia could easily see the treasure that lay inside. Her mouth dropped only a bit before snapping shut, bidding herself to appear emotionless. The amount of gold was astonishing, not to mention the silver and bronze that complimented it. Snape hastily went inside and threw a good amount of coins in a bag. As he exited the vault, the goblin handed him his key and they both got back in the cart, off again, spiraling downward into the earth.

It was only a moment before the cart halted again in front of the Lachlan vault. Lydia went to get out, but was surprised to see a hand in front of her, bidding her to take it. She grasped it, pushing out of the cart and onto the firm rock beneath her feet.

"Thank you," she mumbled to Snape, who gave her a slight nod in acknowledgement.

All of a sudden, she was very embarrassed about what was inside her vault. She had just realized how miniscule her own family's fortune was compared to that of Snape's. What would he think? Looking to the ground, she gave her key to the goblin, who opened it, and she quickly rushed inside, taking a few coins from the ridiculously small pile that lay inside. She came out even quicker, and shut the door directly behind her, hoping Snape did not see enough to comment about it. She was too embarrassed to even look at him. Why did she have to be poor?

Snape cleared his throat, gaining her attention and helped her back into the cart. She thanked him quietly and sat in silence once more as they traveled back to the outside world.

"So… where shall we go now?" Lydia asked, as they stepped down the white steps of Gringotts. Snape looked around for a moment.

"We should probably stop at the stationary shop for parchment and the likes, and then we should probably head to the apothecary. Your father told me you still need potion supplies." He answered as they continued to walk down the street. Lydia nodded.

"Sounds good to me…" she answered lamely, feeling more and more like a small child again being led around by her father. They moved quietly and it was not long before the silence started to eat at Lydia. They hadn't said five sentences to each other the whole time. Wasn't that a little odd? Maybe she should try to start up a conversation, some small talk… but what to talk about was the question. She started racking her mind, trying to think of something to bring up, but nothing seemed to fit the situation. Maybe if she asked him a question…

"So…do you… have any hobbies… or anything of sorts?" she asked awkwardly. Small talk was not her forte. Snape looked over at her like she had three heads causing her to look back to the ground which was becoming quite friendly with of late. He cleared his throat.

"Well, yes… I enjoy potion making, if you can call that a hobby." He said.

"That's very interesting. You work at Slug and Jiggers, do you not?" Lydia questioned further. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard to talk with him.

"I started working there this summer." He stated plainly.

"Do you like it?"

"Why do you care? I don't believe you are looking for a job."

"I was just wondering…" she said quietly. So much for trying to talk to the bastard. When would this day be over?

And once again, silence crept between the two, isolating them from the rest of the excited shoppers and visitors to the Alley. The continued solemnly, stopping at the stationary shop and picking up their supplies without a word, and then to the apothecary were Snape had quickly unshelved her things and given them to her, the only words a quiet "Thank you."

He excused himself, and retreated to the back room. Lydia heard him speaking with someone, who she assumed was his employer, Mr. Jiggers. He came out after about ten minutes or so, held open the door for her, and they went back into the street once more.

They walked aimlessly a bit, occasionally stepping into a shop that had something they might need. It was nearing lunch, when Lydia suggested that they stop at Madam Malkin's to pick up school robes. Hopefully, Elle would still be there and maybe would come with her and Severus. It was so awkward being alone with him. Plus she needed to get those new school robes and maybe a pair of dress robes while she was at it. She was pretty sure she had money enough for both with the money Mr. Malfoy had given her and her own money to pay for it. She knew that she should return the money, but was it such a crime to get what she wanted for once? She gulped. She still felt bad about it.

Right as she stepped inside, she could hear obnoxious giggling. Yes, Elle was here.

"Sirius, stop!" she screeched. Lydia frowned. She didn't know a lot about boys, but she was sure that wasn't the way to go about getting a boyfriend. She looked over at Snape, who was looking suddenly resentful. He obviously didn't want to be in the shop with _them._ She had better make this quick…

"Elle?" she called out, walking in the direction of the giggling. There was a small crash and Elle appeared before her, tumbling out of one of the dressing rooms, Sirius Black behind her.

"Oh, Lydie…hi, um… you know Sirius, right? Sirius- Lydie, Lydie- Sirius," she said, giving them an unnecessary introduction. Sirius, his hair quite ruffled, gave Lydia a calculating grin. It was returned with a blatant scowl. Merlin, how Sirius Black got on her nerves!

"Why, hello there, Lydie, and how are you on this fine day?" he asked.

"Suddenly ill…" she mumbled.

"What?"

"Fine, just fine," she said as Snape stepped up behind her, a look of pure hatred darting towards Sirius.

"Ah, and look we've got Snivellus here too! I didn't know you two were a couple! Hiding it were you, Lydie… well, then again, so who'd I. I mean, look at-"

"I'm afraid we're in a bit of a hurry. Could we just get our things?" Lydia cut him off, glancing over at Snape whose look of loathing for the boy was growing deeper with each passing second. She really did not need this right now!

"LYDIE! Are you really together with- _him_?" Elle asked in disbelief, whispering the last bit with a rude point. Lydia frowned again in exasperation.

"No, he's just my escort. Now, can we please just get our things?"

"Escort!" Elle shrieked, "You expect me to believe that?"

"Elle, please-"

"Why, you slimy, overgrown, big-nosed, greasy prat! What sort of curse did you put on her?" she spat, looking him over in pure disgust, "You loathsome, no good high- bred pancake, who's issues are to blame for the fact that your family married too close together! You incest produced turd! How dare you!"

"Elle!"

"You little tart, trolloping around with the likes of this blood traitor, you stupid muggle lover! How dare I? How dare you suggest that I would even go near this piece of filth without good reason, you whore?" Snape snapped in his smooth voice, cutting each word with extreme accuracy, drawing wand. Sirius came forward, taking out his own wand as well. Lydia quickly jumped between the two, pulling Snape back as Sirius came closer.

"Get off me!" Snape hissed.

"Are you all really this immature?!" she shouted at the top of her lungs, causing Sirius to stop and Snape's struggling to end. Then, more quietly, she continued, "Severus, why don't we head to lunch. I really don't need any new robes." She said civilly. Snape looked at her a moment, before nodding, and she let go, walking out of the shop, him following behind. She swore to herself she would never go out in public with him again.

-----

A/N- so, what did you think? I decided to make the chapters shorter as to post them quicker and it's just easier for me now that school's up and running again. (Damn my AP World History teacher for giving me obscene amounts of homework!)

Thanks to all my fabulous reviewers! I totally did the dance of happiness when I finally reached five reviews, because my stories don't get many and I'm sad like that…

As you'll notice, I am awful at reading over my stories so there are quite a few mistakes. I am in the desperate need of a beta reader if anyone is interested. Please state it in your review or email me at 

Please check put my Draco/Ginny fic called Storms on my author page. Just to let you know, it's a whole lot different than this. It's actually a humour story. Please read and review it, because I have not been motivated to write that story in a long time.

I know, this is way too long…

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW! I LOVE LONG RAMBLY REVIEWS!


	4. Headfirst for Halos

**Disclaimer- Don't own it.**

**Heaven Sent**

Headfirst for Halos

_  
Well let's go back to the middle of the day that starts it all  
I can't begin to let you know just what I'm feeling  
And now the red ones make me fly  
And the blue ones help me fall  
And I think I'll blow my brains against the ceiling  
And as the fragments of my skull begin to fall  
Fall on your tongue like pixie dust just think happy thoughts  
  
And we'll fly home  
We'll fly home  
You and I  
We'll fly home  
  
Well now I'm back in the middle of the day that starts it all.  
Well I can't begin to let you know just what I'm feeling.  
And now these red ones make me fly,  
And the blue ones help me fall.  
And I think I'll blow my brain against the ceiling.  
  
And we'll fly home,  
We'll fly home,  
You and I,  
We'll fly home._

_Headfirst for Halos_- My Chemical Romance

-----  
  
Now honestly that's what I said to her, what I said to her  
Think happy thoughts.

Lydia slouched through the street miserably. Why her? Why was she stuck with such an incompetent prat? Why did he have to talk so rudely to Elle? Why did he even respond to her? Did he have no control over his temper? She made a sharp turn, pulling open the door to the Leaky Cauldron and letting go quickly, letting Snape get it on his own. He was following after her, she thought, or at least she hoped he had. She had sort of run off, and looking over her shoulder, she couldn't see him. That couldn't be good.

She made a u-turn, walking back outside to look for him. She shouldn't have marched off. It was foolish of her and now the both of them could get in trouble for her mistake.

"Snape?" she called out by the side of the road, "Snape!"

Suddenly there was a tap on her shoulder and she spun around quickly to come face to face with him, his black eyes tearing holes in her blue ones. There was something odd about him just then; he wasn't glaring, just looking at her curiously.

"I'm sorry I left you behind," she apologized simply, not trying to make it sound like an excuse, just a fact. He nodded.

"It's fine," he said. They stood a moment in silence, almost a picturesque pair. The wind blew softly at their clothes, the sky now grey from the oncoming summer storm, "Did you want to get lunch?" he asked. She tilted her head at his civil manner before nodding.

"Yes, yes I did,"

"The Leaky Cauldron?"

"That sounds fine to me," she said, starting to walk in the direction from which she had come. Snape walked quickly for a moment to catch up with her, and then they were walking side by side, for once. She turned her head to look at him, but found he was already staring at her.

"I- uh," he cleared his throat, "I'm sorry about what happened back in the robe shop…"

Her eyes narrowed in confusion. Why was_ he_ apologizing? Last time she checked, Snape did not apologize, the swarmy git.

Then again, maybe he wasn't as bad as she thought. Rumours were faulty basis to judge people on. She really didn't know what he was truly like.

"Don't worry about it, really. Elle was probably just trying to get a rise out of me." She said agreeably, giving him a small smile.

When they reached the Leaky Cauldron, the second time for Lydia, Snape held open the door for her. She thanked him quietly as they were ushered over to an open table by a hostess, who they gave their orders of a cranberry juice for Lydia and a butterbeer for Snape. When the hostess left, there was once again an uncomfortable silence that Lydia was sure she had to break when Snape spoke up.

"So… are you glad to be returning to Hogwarts tomorrow?" he asked, almost like he had no idea what he was doing. Lydia was sure he didn't.

"I suppose… it will be nice to get away from the bookstore," she said honestly. He looked surprised at her answer.

"You don't like working there?"

"Not particularly," she answered. He nodded, taking it in.

"Why?"

"It's just rather boring, is all."

"I see…" He said slowly, almost trying to remember it.

"Do you like your job?" she asked hesitantly.

"Very much so,"

"That's good…"

And once again, the situation could easily be labeled as an awkward silence.

The waitress came over with their drinks and took their orders politely saying their meals would be ready in only a matter of time. Lydia sipped her drink lightly, looking around the restaurant to avoid making any eye contact with Snape. He cleared his throat and spoke again.

"I was wondering, have you ever read _De Occulta Philosophia_?" he asked, breaking the silence. Lydia smiled softly at him.

"Yes, in fact I have. I found it to be quite interesting. Agrippa's views on persecution were extremely thought out." She replied.

"The language was fantastic. Did you read the Latin or the English?"

"The Latin, and yes it was amazing- a hard read, definitely, but completely worthwhile. Did you read the Latin?" she questioned, getting interested in the conversation. She had never met anyone else who had read _De Occulta Philosophia_ before.

"I read the Latin also. Can you believe that Agrippa wasn't really even a true wizard, but just a mystic?"

"I know! It's ridiculous that such a masterpiece to the wizarding world was written by a non- magical person. Though, I have found some evidence that he was actually a squib, maybe a descendent of Rowena Ravenclaw herself." She explained. Snape shook his head.

"There is no way that Agrippa is a descendent of Ravenclaw. That's nearly impossible!"

"Nearly, nearly is the key word. In a few old scripts I picked up here and there, I've come across something that claimed Ravenclaw actually had three children other than the two recorded. The youngest child was thought to be a squib, and you know back in those days, wizards didn't want to have anything to do with squibs, quite possibly the reason why it was never written down."

"We're talking about Rowena Ravenclaw here, one of the most powerful witches of all time, a pure-blood. Do you honestly think that she would produce a squib?" He asked incredulously.

"It's been proven that old wizarding families who mate with the same wizarding blood continuously eventually wear down the magical capabilities of the children. It's unhealthy to marry so closely." She pointed out. Snape shook his head.

"No one marries that closely in this day and age. Yes, purebloods stick within the blood, but never so intertwined as to cause that." He argued.

"In our time, yes, but back then, incest was practically 'all the rage.'"

"I wouldn't say all the rage. I'm sure there was some, but not in the upper-class families at least. That would have been thought of as unrespectable. The worst was first cousin marriages." He debated.

"I didn't mean literally, but yes, the first cousin marriages may have been the cause of failure to pass on magical ability."

"But once again, I remind you we are discussing Rowena Ravenclaw, one of the founder's of Hogwarts. It is absurd to even hypothesize that she gave birth to a non-magical child with the kind of powers she had."

"Don't forget that Rowena had a relationship with her second cousin, from which all her children came from. There are bound to be faults in the children with such close genetics." she said.

"You still aren't even sure if she really had a third child, much less that it was a squib. How many sources did you find that stated this." He asked.

"Three and it's only a theory."

"A theory to be debated," He smirked, and looked at her oddly. She furrowed her eyebrows a bit, but gave a small smile.

"Yes, a theory to be debated," she agreed.

-----

"Now that is absurd!" she smiled, shaking her head, "Carlotta Pinkstone is seriously a lunatic."

"What good does she actually believe will come of muggles knowing about us? We'll be persecuted, feared, just like the legends of old are. Muggles are too ignorant to understand our way of life." He said. They were walking down the wet street towards the bookshop. It hand rained only a few hours ago, locking them inside the Leaky Cauldron for a little while longer than they expected. Lydia had thought it really wasn't all that bad. Snape basically new what he was talking about. He _was_ quite clever, and rounded in reading. He had already gone through most of the books she had read and it was nice to have someone other than Elle to talk about them with. He actually listened and commented. It really turned out to be a pretty reasonable day.

Now, that all there shopping was done, and it was nearing six, they were heading back, and Lydia had to say it was almost to her disappointment- almost. Though he was a good person to have an intellectual conversation, she certainly wasn't all that comfortable with him. He was still odd and weird, and seemed to know more about the Dark Arts than his good, but she could deal with that for a day at least. She didn't know how well she would do after a long period of time.

As they came to the door of the shop, they stepped under the small over hang to avoid any falling gutter water left over from the rain. The sky was still a bleak gray, and now the wind had really shot up, whipping both their hair around frantically.

"I suppose I shall see you tomorrow, then." Snape said. Lydia nodded.

"Yes… thank you, for today. I enjoyed myself." She said simply.

"I did also,"

"Right…"

"I should get going."

"Of course,"

"Until then?"

"Until then." She stated. He nodded and started to walk away across the street. Lydia watched as he went for a moment before turning back to the door and pushing inside. She was instantly greeted by her father, who took her bags from her and asked her how it went.

"It was fine," she replied vaguely. He nodded and went off into a rant about how she should be hanging around with more people like Severus Snape. She just bit her lip and went with it, not saying how she thought he was odd or strange, and even though today was fine, she would not particularly hang out with him on a regular basis. The once in a while debate was fine, but considering him as a friend was downright wrong.

Neither of them saw Snape cross the street to meet a tall blond haired man. Neither of them really cared, either.

-----

A/N- Yes! Two chapters in one week! These short chapters are so much easier on me to write because I can usually do them in at least three days and don't completely forget about what I've written. So it's shorter now, about five pages on MS word, really not too bad. If I keep up on a good pace, I should be getting a chapter out at least every three days, if not shorter. SO yeah…

I am so embarrassed! My sister reviewed Storms on my computer, so it automatically put the review under my name! Now it looks like I reviewed my own story and I really didn't. I'm not that pathetic! It's so horrible! I have no way of deleting the stupid thing either! Oh, I look so sad… I'm gonna kill that kid…

Kerichi, you totally read my mind! Every fanfiction I think up has a super awesome common room party with awesome music and I will take requests. And everything with Snape is suggestive…

Lydia is in Ravenclaw. It's been so long that I don't even remember if I put it in one of the chapters… I should really go check… yeah, I actually did! Wow, how soon I forget stuff. It's somewhere in the first chapter.

About transforming Lydia from ugly duckling into the swan… Lydia is going to get better looking in a sense, not from some weird makeover thing that people always give to Ginny and Hermione… I really shouldn't be telling you all of this… I need it for the story so yeah. I actually decided to make Lydia kind of plain because I was so sick of seeing all these Mary Sue OCs who are beautiful and better at everything, but with Lydia, Snape is better than her at almost everything- almost.

Wow, how do my author's notes end up practically longer than the chapter?

So, I actually reviewed Storms thanks to some great motivation from the wonderful Kerichi, so check it out. You should totally check out her stuff too, especially her Snape/OC fic, which is absolutely hilarious.

So yeah,

**GIVE ME SOME LONG RAMBLY REVIEWS PEOPLE! COME ON!**


	5. You've Got A Friend

**Disclaimer**- **Don't own it**

****

**Heaven Sent**

You've Got A Friend

_-----_

_When you're down in troubles  
And you need some love and care  
And nothing, nothing is going right  
Close your eyes and think of me  
And soon I will be there  
To brighten up even your darkest night  
  
You just call out my name  
And you know wherever I am  
I'll come running to see you again  
Winter, spring, summer or fall  
All you got to do is call  
And I'll be there  
Yes I will  
You've got a friend  
  
If the sky above you  
Grows dark and full of clouds  
And that old north wind begins to blow  
Keep your head together  
And call my name out loud  
Soon you'll hear me knocking at your door  
  
You just call out my name  
And you know wherever I am  
I'll come running to see you again  
Winter, spring, summer or fall  
All you have to do is call  
And I'll be there  
Ain't it good to know that you've got a friend  
  
When people can be so cold  
They'll hurt you and desert you  
And take your soul if you let them  
Oh, but don't you let them  
  
You just call out my name  
And you know wherever I am  
I'll come running to see you again  
Winter, spring, summer or fall  
All you have to do is call  
And I'll be there  
You've got a friend_

_You've Got A Friend_- Carol King

-----

"I want you to be careful this year,"

"Don't worry, father, I'll be fine. I won't do anything foolish." Lydia promised her father as they stood together on Platform 9 ¾. The sky was still painted gray from yesterday's rain, and still puddles were splattered here and there across the pavement. The wind was picking up again, blowing children's clothes this way and that. It was getting colder fast, the autumn coming sooner than welcome. The bitter chill in the air had made a decision for Lydia on what she would wear, a pair of denim jeans with a light pea coat. Her trunk rested on the ground by her side, fairly heavy with the number of books she had chosen to take along with her.

"I should hope not. I've raised you to be intelligent. I expect only the best from you." He said.

"Of course father," she said as the train's whistle cut threw the crisp air. He father looked over at the train.

"You should probably be getting aboard."

"Yes… I guess I'll see you at Christmas," she said quietly. He nodded.

"Surely, now get going. I'll see you then." He said gruffly.

"Good-bye father," she said, picking up her trunk and proceeding to drag it towards the train. She swore she saw her father waving to her, and smiled a bit at the thought. He cared more than he liked to show, she thought.

"Do you need help with that?" Someone asked from behind her. She turned her head to see the grinning face of Remus Lupin. She smiled.

"Remus," she greeted happily, "It's been too long,"

"Much too long," he agreed, picking up one end of her trunk while she carried the other, "I went to see you yesterday, but your father said you were out."

"I had some last minute shopping to do before school started,"

"Procrastination, then?"

"Basically," Lydia laughed softly.

"Well, don't worry. I waited until yesterday to get everything on my school list." He said. Slowly, Remus stepped up onto the train as she followed him with the other end of her trunk, "Where are you sitting?"

"Where ever the rest of the Ravenclaws are…" she said, looking in each compartment as they walked by, "Here," she stopped in front of an open compartment with some of the girls from her dormitory. Remus walked inside first, and they both put the trunk overhead in one of the compartments.

"Well, I better be off to the prefects compartment," Remus said, looking towards the door.

"Yeah… hey, thanks for helping me," she gave him a small smile, that was returned by a sheepish one.

"Not a problem," he said, rubbing the back of his neck, "So, I'll see you around?"

"Of course, bye then,"

"Yeah, bye," he said giving her a nervous wave as he back pedaled out of the compartment. Lydia watched him as he walked down the small hall.

"Oooooo!"

"What?" Lydia turned, beaming at her fellow Ravenclaws.

"Why, isn't he cute?" commented Fallon Moriarty, raising an eyebrow.

"Hey, don't get cheeky with me, Morrie!" Lydia joked, taking a seat next to her friend.

"Don't laugh Lydia! The train hasn't even started! What if your father is still outside?" Fallon, nicknamed Morrie, said in teasing worry. Lydia shook her head, still smiling.

"Shut up, you loser," Elle said from behind her Witch Weekly.

"Ouch, I cry at night about things you know," she said acting solemn.

"And here I thought that was just you snoring," Lydia said dryly. Morrie gave out a barkish laugh.

"It's good to have you back, Lydia…" she said shaking her head in amusement, "I was a little worried after your very suicidal sounding letters." She added, growing serious.

"They weren't suicidal!"

Suddenly Elle looked up, her eyes clouded, "**Kurt didn't commit suicide. Courtney did it."** She recited in a dark voice. Lydia and Morrie looked and each other, bewildered. Abruptly, Elle turned back to her magazine.

"What the?" Morrie said, furrowing her eyebrows at the girl.

"Hmm, did you say something?" Elle said looking up again.

"Elle, I think you need to put down the horoscopes," Morrie said, like she was approaching an out of control animal.

"Don't be absurd, if you want to know yours, I'll just tell you-"

"This has really gone too far-"

"What were you again? An Aquarius?"

"It's become an obsession-"

"Let's see… '_Forget smoldering about things- talk about them instead_!"

"You're going mad-"

"_You're holding back something that needs to be brought out into the open_-"

"Speaking in tongues-"

"_It is better to speak up than to let something eat you up inside._' Now, Fallon, you know you can tell me anything. What ever is going on?" Elle whispered sincerely, reaching across to grab Morrie's hand. Morrie pulled away sharply, scowling.

"Don't touch me," she warned. That of course didn't stop Elle.

"You can trust me, Fallon," she assured.

"Don't ever call me Fallon," she hissed, once again ignored by Elle.

"I know when something is holing you up inside. It hurts doesn't it?" Elle murmured to her friend, pity swimming in her eyes.

"This is ridiculous! That horoscope doesn't even come close to accurate!" Morrie shouted in frustration.

"Please, Fallon let me help you!"

"Help me?! I'll tell you who needs help! You, you crazy, old bat!"

"Morrie, don't pay any attention to her. She's just trying to be dramatic," Lydia interrupted logically, stopping any hexing she could predict from Morrie in the near future.

"Whatever," Morrie huffed, leaning back and folding her arms.

"Hey, Morrie?" Lydia asked.

"Yeah," she said bitterly.

"If you ever do need a shoulder to cry on…" she said smirking," At least you know you've got Elle,"

"What does that mean? You don't care about me?" Morrie said, feigning hurt.

"Basically," she said simply.

"Good!" Morrie said in relief, "I wouldn't want two Mr. Rogers in the dormitory."

"What?" Elle asked, "Who's Mr. Rogers?"

"It's a show," Morrie said. Suddenly, the train gave a tug, and a whistle sounded it's take off, "Shoot, I should probably go up and meet with all the prefects," she added, getting up.

"See you later," Lydia said.

"I'll be back soon," Morrie said quickly walking out.

"She'll never know what's good for her," Lydia barely heard Elle muttered. She smiled. Her friends were too eccentric for their own good. Shaking her head, Lydia pulled out a large tome that she rested open on her lap, and proceeded to read through it. Occasionally she would look up after a chapter to see what passed by the window or how Elle was doing on her crossword puzzle. About a half an hour after the train started up, their compartment door opened to reveal a very smug looking Sirius Black.

"Elle?" he asked. She looked up and immediately dropped her crossword puzzle on the seat.

"Sirius!" she gasped brightly.

"I- um," he looked over at Lydia before continuing, "I sort of left something in the loo… Will you come with me to get it?"

"Of course I will!" she giggled, standing up and taking his hand. She practically skipped out without as much as a good-bye for Lydia, who frowned. Why was it she always seemed to end up alone on the Hogwarts Express? It was like this every year!

At least she would get some reading done without distraction… that was until five minutes later, the compartment door flew open again.

"Lydia?"

She looked up to see Snape, standing in the doorway. She smiled softly at him.

"Hello,"

"May I sit here?" he asked. She nodded, and he awkwardly sat down, "What are you reading?"

"The Influences of Greek Mythology on the Wizarding World," said Lydia.

"I don't believe I've ever read it. Is it good?"

"Very, the author is actually a charm breaker at Gringotts who did field work in Greece, so she knows quite a bit about the geography itself." She said.

"So many books these days are just a bunch of researchers who have never even been to the real locations. It's awfully hypocritical if you ask me."

"I completely agree! Have you looked at the new History of Magic textbook? It's absurd! You can easily tell the author has no idea what he's talking about!" she said, putting down her book. He nodded.

"I know, not to mention the whole writing technique is dreadful."

"Whose technique is dreadful?" Morrie said, leaning in the doorway, raising an eyebrow, "And why does that sound like such an innuendo?" Snape scowled at her, and she received another glare from Lydia.

"Do shut up," said Lydia.

"Sorry, sorry," she said defensively, taking a seat next to Lydia. Snape cleared his throat.

"Well, I probably should be getting to my compartment…" he said.

"Yeah, that might be good," Morrie said condescendingly. Lydia shot her a withering look, which she responded to with a shrug.

"Severus," she began, feeling bad about Morrie's last comment, "You really don't have to go."

"No, I'm afraid I must. I have some… business to attend to," he said, getting up, "I shall see you at school?"

"Yes, of course," Lydia nodded. He turned and walked out of the compartment shutting the door behind him. Abruptly, Morrie burst out laughing.

"Morrie!" she said, hitting her friend on the arm, "What _is_ your problem? That was completely out of line!" This only made Morrie laugh harder.

"I have some… business to attend to," she said in a deep voice, horribly mimicking Snape's, "Oh that made my day! It really did!"

"I can't even believe you!"

"What? It's only Snape!"

"That's not the point!" Lydia exclaimed. Morrie only looked at her like she had three heads.

"You don't like him, do you?!" Morrie asked anxiously.

"NO! Why does everyone seem to think that?" she asked wearily.

"Why else would you talk to- that?" she asked, like it was completely obviously. Lydia pulled a look at her.

"Do you have to be so pricky?!"

"Ah, well… I try," she said arrogantly with the wave of her hand, "So tell me, what is going on between you and the rat?"

"Nothing and he is not a rat. We were just talking,"

"Yeah, about books. Good lord, you are such a nerd!" Morrie exclaimed.

"Excuse me?" said Lydia, looking offended, "I am not a nerd!"

"Once you start having conversations with Severus Snape, the nerdiest and not to mention evilest guy in the school, you can pretty much consider yourself a nerd too."

"I am not a nerd!"

"Whatever helps you sleep at night,"

"You know, I am just going to ignore that and get back to my BOOK. Reading just happens to be an activity that intelligent people tend to participate in. Maybe you should try it." She suggested sarcastically.

"And I am going to ignore that. Hey, do you know if there's other bathroom on this train? Somebody's shagging in the one at the end of the hall."

"Oh, great…" Lydia sighed, "You do realize that it's Elle in there?"

"What?! Elle and who?!" she asked, shocked.

"Sirius Black,"

"NO WAY! I thought he was going out with Emmaline Vance!"

"I think he still is…" Lydia said wearily.

"Good Merlin, is Elle really that stupid?"

"Apparently," she had no idea what Elle was doing getting involved with Sirius Black, but she was almost sure it had something to do with James Potter. Elle had had her eye on Potter since third year.

"I need to go tell Lily. I'll be back." Morrie said, rushing out of the compartment. Lydia opened her mouth to call after her, but shut it, knowing it wasn't going to stop her. Morrie, like Lily Evans, was a muggle-born and the two were best friends. Their friendship got irritating at times since everything with Morrie had to do with Lily, leaving Lydia with Elle. That's really how Elle and she became friends, from being left out. The other two girls in their dormitory were two very snobbish purebloods, making that as not an option. Of course, nowadays, Lydia was seeing Elle less and less, with boys such as Sirius Black to blame.

Morrie never did come back to the compartment, nor did Elle. Lydia was left alone again, but this time, her book wasn't interesting enough to hold her attention. The window became her one distraction, and let's just say, it was a very long trip.

-----

A/N- Yes, another chapter! Woohoo!

So yeah, this was basically just a character development chapter. You get to see that Lydia actually does have somewhat of a personality. I didn't even plan on adding Morrie in, but she just seemed to spill right out onto the page, so…

I'm having a hard time writing Snape, basically because it's not really from his point of view, which it will be eventually, but right now, too much is going on.

I hope I'm not making Lydia a Mary Sue. Please tell me if you think so. I tried to make her have some faults (a lot of which you haven't seen yet) and I tried to make it so she's tied to some characters who are from the actual books, but not so Mary Sueishly, such as

"Oh yes, she's dating Sirius and they are in love and she just happens to be Lily's best friend, but James really likes her and not Lily, so there's some jealousy over her, but then she finds Snape to be amazingly sexy so she cheats on Sirius, causes Lily and James to get together and single handedly makes Peter turn to the Dark Lord, and then she and Snape get married, she makes him leave the Death Eaters, but she leaves because she is so upset over Lily and James death, and then she comes back in Harry's sixth year, turning out to be Harry's godmother, and ends up being the one most important person to help Harry kill Voldemort. Oh, I did I mention that she's amazingly beautiful with aquamarine eyes that change colors when she's angry or that she has a distinct smell of vanilla or that she was the best student at Hogwarts and is even better at potions than Snape, which is why he loves her, and she's an Auror too, and she just happens to be able to perform magic without a wand, oh, and don't forget she's Dumbledore's long lost daughter who is the only person who ever gave him socks for Christmas, and of course, it's only fair if she beats everyone at wizard's chess."

Because I abhor those stories, but then again, I'm being bitter and babbling so I'll stop…

YAY! I love the song in this chapter! I am such a loser because one minute I'm listening to Silverchair and the next its Carol King. I guess you can say I like everything.

**I'd just like to thank all my fabulous reviewers! You guys are great!**

Miaou- Don't worry, your English is better than mine. I originally wasn't going to put that line in, since I absolutely loathe foreshadowing, hoping that Severus disappearing a bit at the beginning of the chapter was good enough to say that his attitude was changing for a reason. Then I read through it a few times and found that I couldn't even pick up what I was trying to convey, so I put that last line in. I hope it's not too hint hint, wink wink.

So,

**PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE GIVE ME SOME NICE LONG RAMBLY REVIEWS!**


	6. Once In A Lifetime

**Disclaimer- Don't Own It**

**Heaven Sent**

Once In A Lifetime

-----

_And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack  
And you may find yourself in another part of the world  
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile  
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful  
Wife  
And you may ask yourself-well...how did I get here?  
  
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down  
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground  
Into the blue again/after the money's gone  
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.  
  
And you may ask yourself  
How do I work this?  
And you may ask yourself  
Where is that large automobile?  
And you may tell yourself  
This is not my beautiful house!  
And you may tell yourself  
This is not my beautiful wife!  
  
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down  
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground  
Into the blue again/after the money's gone  
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.  
  
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...  
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...  
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...  
  
Water dissolving...and water removing  
There is water at the bottom of the ocean  
Carry the water at the bottom of the ocean  
Remove the water at the bottom of the ocean!  
  
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down  
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground  
Into the blue again/in the silent water  
Under the rocks and stones/there is water underground.  
  
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down  
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground  
Into the blue again/after the money's gone  
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.  
  
And you may ask yourself  
What is that beautiful house?  
And you may ask yourself  
Where does that highway go?  
And you may ask yourself  
Am I right? ...am I wrong?  
And you may tell yourself  
My god!...what have I done?  
  
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down  
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground  
Into the blue again/in the silent water  
Under the rocks and stones/there is water underground.  
  
Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down  
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground  
Into the blue again/after the money's gone  
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.  
  
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...  
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was...same as it ever was...  
Same as it ever was...same as it ever was..._

_Once In A Lifetime_- Talking Heads

-----

"Critchley, Eustis,"

"They're only on the Cs? You've got to be kidding me!" Morrie groaned, plopping her head on the table, "I hate the sorting. It's always so… boring."

"Be quiet," Lydia muttered to her, pretending to be paying attention to the ceremony. She tried her best to be attentive, or even look attentive, but was failing horribly. Morrie _was_ right. The Sorting Ceremony was boring and now her eyes were starting to droop from staying up packing last night. Professor McGonagall's droning voice wasn't very helpful either.

"Dieselman, Elise,"

"Yes! D's!" Morrie exclaimed, looking up from the table. Elle, who was currently fiddling with her nails, looked over and rolled her eyes.

"Count the minutes, why don't you?" she grumbled, picked very fiercely at her blue thumbnail. Morrie's nose twitched in annoyance, before falling back to the wood. Lydia sighed. Why could those two never get along?

Silently for her the Es and the Fs passed by, leaving her some room to zone out, playing her favorite song over and over in her head. It wasn't until Elle monkey-bit her arm that she was thrust back into reality.

"Ow!" she hissed, "That really wasn't necessary, was it?"

"He's looking at you," Elle said casually, receiving a bewildered look from Lydia.

"Who?"

"Yeah, who?" Morrie had lifted her head up, now blatantly searching the Great Hall for whoever was looking at her.

"Stop that!" Elle snapped, "You are so obvious!" Morrie scowled.

"And is there anything wrong with that?"

"Yes! Are you trying to make us look like idiots?" said Elle furtively.

"Afraid your ickle Sirikins will see?" she jeered.

"Shut it, you loser,"

"Strike a note, did I?"

"I told you to be quiet!"

"Scared he won't like you anymore because of your 'creepy friends'?"

"I mean it, if you say one more word-" said Elle, her voice growing louder with each syllable.

"Don't worry, I don't think he ever did like you in the first place-" Her voice matching Elle's.

"You have no idea what you're talking about-"

"Probably just a good lay for him-"

"You did not just say that!"

"Actually probably not. I can't imagine you being a good lay-"

"SHUT UP!" Elle screeched, standing up, her blue eyes flaring. The echoes of her high pitched voice rang threw the silent hall, their peers looking over, and first years appearing somewhat frightened. Lydia put her face in her hands and moaned. Why, she asked herself, why?

It must have finally come crashing down on Elle where she was, because she gulped and started shooting her panicked eyes over the staring people, no one uttering a word. A pin drop would have seemed very loud.

"Eh… sorry," she mumbled quickly, sitting down and burying her blushing face in her robes, not noticing Morrie across the table shaking in silent laughter. McGonagall cleared her throat, sending a harsh look towards the Ravenclaw table and continued on with the ceremony.

"Elle?" Lydia asked softly, "Elle?"

"Leave me alone! I want to die!" she heard a muffled sob. Lydia shook her head.

Who was looking at her?

-----

"First years! Ravenclaw first years with me!" Morrie shouted over the din of the exiting crowd. Lydia stood next to her, looking around the Great Hall for any sign of Elle. As soon as Dumbledore had finished his speech, she had crept out of the hall, trying to go unnoticed. Lydia was a bit worried, not knowing where she was. She couldn't have gone Ravenclaw Tower, not yet knowing the password. Maybe the astronomy tower… Elle was surely a recurrent visitor there.

"Are you all here?" Morrie asked, scanning over the group of ten or so small students who had gathered in front of her. Her answer was given in a meek chorus of yeses. "Good, now my name's Morrie Moriarty and you best remember it. I'm one of Ravenclaw's prefects, a position one of you might be able to have in a few years. It's an honor to be in Ravenclaw House. We are the best and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. We are the smartest, cleverest and wittiest. If you don't think you meet those standards, well, you better try. Now, come on, it's time I get you all up to Ravenclaw Tower."

The first years, looking somewhat abashed, followed Morrie and quietly through the halls, dropping their mouths and pointing their fingers at all the wonders of the school. Lydia meandered behind. They had at first started walking out with all groups of students, but eventually the groups separated the Ravenclaws heading towards the West Wing. At the end of a corridor was a large staircase that the group had to climb in order to get to their destination.

"I'd watch out for the staircases, they tend to be a bit unreasonable and move while you happen to be on them. Right fine way to get yourself lost in this place. I do believe the staircases think it's funny." Morrie explained, leading the group up the stairs, who began to look frantically around at their feet to see if there was any movement. Lydia smiled to herself. Morrie was so blunt about some things.

Suddenly, a ghost burst through the wall and onto the staircase, receiving a gasp from the first years. It was a tall, young lady shrouded in elegance, her ghostly tresses piled neatly upon her head. She gave a mystic smile to the cluster of first years.

"Ah, new members of the House," she uttered in her melodic voice, "A fine band you seem. I hope you all shall meet my expectations."

"I'm sure they will, My Lady," said Morrie, with a bow of her head. Lydia did the same.

"Yes, of course," she said vaguely, floating away, her ghostly dress trailing behind.

"Who was that?" A girl first year questioned as soon as the ghost had disappeared.

"The Grey Lady, she's Ravenclaw's House Ghost. Nice enough, but dark. She's right smart though. A great help with homework if you ever need it, and she's willing too. Now, stop gawking. We've got to get to the common room before curfew." Morrie told them, starting back up the stairs. They followed, Morrie occasionally pointing out a classroom or painting that held some importance.

Finally, they made it up to the seventh floor to the statue of a wizard that opened to the entrance of Ravenclaw Tower. "This is Lachlan the Lanky. He pretty much guards the entrance to Ravenclaw Tower, so if you're all smart, you'll know not to go telling all your friends in other houses about him. Letting a student from another house into your common room or going into another common room will get you in right fine trouble. Expulsion even," Morrie elucidated, "Now, remember the password is _jobberknoll_. Got that? Good," she said the password, causing the statue to move aside. Morrie stepped in first, letting the others trail behind.

The common room itself was large, a thick blue rug covering just the middle of the mahogany floor. A huge fireplace was set at one side of the room, a portrait of the noble Rowena Ravenclaw above it. She was a favorite aid of students who were in need of homework help. Blue armchairs were pulled beside the large couch by the fire and all over the room were work desks with comfy looking chairs. The walls were painted a pleasant blue, not too light nor too dark, and silver candelabras lit the room with a white glow. The upperclassman had already arrived, given the password by one of the prefects and now many of them were finding their ways upstairs. Morrie showed the first years their dorms quickly before plopping lazily into an empty armchair by the fire.

"We were definitely not that small," Morrie sighed.

"I think we just feel larger now," Lydia said, taking a seat beside her.

"Too large, pretty soon Hogwarts is gonna be a thing of the past,"

"We still have two more years," Lydia reminded, but Morrie just shook her head.

"Think of how little time that is. Soon we'll all have are own jobs and stop communicating with each other too caught up in our own lives. Suddenly, you'll be too busy for me, and I'll be too busy for Lily, and so on. It sucks."

"That won't happen," Lydia insisted, but she knew Morrie was right. They could barely keep up with each other during the summer. Why would they be able to remain friends out of Hogwarts with their own things going on? Lydia hadn't really thought about it before. It had never seemed that important, but it did to Morrie.

"Yes, it will. It always does. We'll get married and have kids and become quidditch mothers and have no time for each other and then life will get boring, not having any friends, and of course being bored will cause problems between you and your husband, and he'll end up cheating on you or something, and then you'll split up, and he'll get the kids, and then what? All your other friends are too busy and pissed because they think you blew them off, but everyone really blew each other off, so then your alone, living in some smelly flat with your cat, and your kid that your ex- husband has brainwashed to hate you doesn't come to visit, so that means your only company are the obscene numbers of cats you've collected over the years, and that twenty- something year old witch you harass who lives two flats down the hall, and even she thinks you're weird, so its back to the cats and of course, reruns of Golden Girls, and then you finally realize what a spinster you've become and that you really are all alone and the cats, and the witch next door, and even Golden Girls don't help ease that feeling you get, and then what? You just keep going, waiting until you are old enough to fall down the stairs and die? Isn't there something more? Am I destined to become that? Unhappy and useless?"

Lydia just sat and listened, hearing her friend's dilemma, nodding and frowning at all the correct places. When Morrie had finished, quite miserably, Lydia sat and thought for a moment.

"I think… that you are going to the extreme with this train of thinking."

"What do you mean?" Morrie asked, obviously seeking some sort of advice.

"That is the worst possible scenario. I don't think that would happen to you of all people."

"And why do you think that wouldn't happen? That could easily happen to me!" she demanded, unsatisfied with the previous answer.

"Because, deep down, some part of me still wants to believe that good people do get rewarded, even if it seems to be happening less and less these days." Lydia murmured, a melancholy smile gracing her lips. Morrie looked at her a moment.

"I'd like to believe that to," she said quietly. Lydia nodded and turned her head to look at the fire, its flames dancing before her eyes in the most unique procession. When she looked up, she saw that Morrie had left already, probably in bed. Deciding that was the best decision, she stood up and climbed up the stair case to her dormitory. Quickly changing into her nightdress, she lied down on her missed bed, looking up at the dark canopy for a while, before sleep finally took her in its arms, cradling her into dark dreams.

-----

**A/N-** Sorry about the delay! I just got a part in the musical at school and its everyday till five, and then I have to do my homework, which is not fun, so I've been having some trouble finding time to write. I promise I'll get the next chapter out sooner, and it will be longer. I feel bad about it being so short, but I just want to get something up.

Ah! I am so sorry! No Snape in this chapter, I feel bad. It's basically a character development chapter where I'm not even really developing the main character… but owe well… don't hate me! I just need to get things started before Sev comes in… wow… did I just call Snape Sev? Wow… that's freaky… need to stop…

Thanks to my lovely reviewers! I love reading your ramblings! My only motivation to keep this going…

**Miaou-** I am starting to get a bit demanding, but oh well. Thank god you don't think Lydia is a Mary Sue! I was so paranoid! Elle is getting really weird. I never meant for that to happen. Elle was originally supposed to be more like Morrie, but she obviously felt otherwise. And I promise next chapter will have Snape!

**Kerichi-** Go Go boots you say… hmm… I like it… Bitter babbling is rather fun I've decided. I would do it know but have nothing really to babble bitterly about. Oh, I am so using the crotch comment pertaining to Sirius. Believe me, I have it all planned out. It's going to be epic. I think I am right in saying we all find Snape amazingly sexy. Jim Morrison-yes! Let's see if I can get the Limewire to cooperate to play some Doors for me.

Damn… stuck listening to Zelda music, which isn't such a bad thing.

I absolutely love Talking Heads and this is a really great song. Go and listen to it somehow.

So please tell me what you think.

**PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE GIVE ME SOME NICE LONG RAMBLY REVIEWS!**


	7. More Than Fine

**Disclaimer- Don't Own It**

****

**Heaven Sent**

More Than Fine

-----

_When I wake in the morning,  
I want to blow into pieces.  
I want more than just ok, more than just ok.  
When I'm up with the sunrise  
I want more than just blue skies.  
I want more than just ok, more than just ok.  
  
I'm not giving up, giving up, not giving up now.  
I'm not giving up, giving up, not backing down.  
  
More than fine, more than bent on getting by.  
More than fine, more than just ok.  
  
When I'm wet with the sunshine.  
I want more than just a good time.  
I want more than just ok, more than just ok.  
  
I'm not giving up, giving up, not giving up now.  
I'm not giving up, giving up, not selling out.  
  
More than fine, more than bent on getting by.  
More than fine, more than just ok.  
More than fine, more than bent on getting by.  
More than fine, more than just ok.  
  
More than oceans away from the dawn.  
More than oceans away from the dawn.  
More than oceans away from who we are  
More than oceans, more than oceans, yeah.  
  
More than fine, more than bent on getting by.  
More than fine, more than just ok.  
More than fine, more than bent on getting by.  
More than fine, more than just ok._

_More Than Fine_- Switchfoot

-----

It was still dark. Lydia could almost feel the early morning gloom through the curtains surrounding her. She lay serenely in her bed, her brown braid loose, sending rebel strands across the pillow. The dark blue sheets had long been pushed to her feet, her only cover the simple, white nightdress she always wore.

Slowly, Lydia pushed herself up on one hand, wiping the hair from her face with the other. She pulled back the velvet curtains, trying almost too hard not to make any noise. She did not want to disturb her roommates, fearing the questioning that would come along with her early awakening. Tip-toeing to the end of the bed, she heaved open the top of her trunk, cringing as the hinges creaked. Fumbling through the top layers of clothing, she found a plain green jumper and jeans under her black school robes. Being up north, it had been cold since she arrived at Hogwarts, not to mention the drop in temperature that had taken place it seemed all over Europe. She quickly threw on the outfit, before returning to the trunk again, and digging deep. She drew a thick hardcover stuffed with random pieces of parchment from the pile. Snatching a bottle of blue ink and plain quill from the bedside table, she crept down the spiral staircase leading out of the room.

Upon entering the common room, she cast a quick glance around to see if anyone else had ventured downstairs. The dying embers in the fire cast the only light, illuminating a lone figure on the couch. Whoever it was, they were breathing quietly, their chest moving steadily up and down. Curious, Lydia treaded a little closer.

It was Elle, her long, blond hair frizzed and ruffled, mascara running down her cheeks. Sleeping, she looked peaceful, but Lydia could tell that Elle really did have a rough night, or more like Elle had put herself through a rough night. She could never understand why Elle put so much on herself, making things bigger than they already were. The person it hurt the most in the end was Elle.

Sighing quietly to herself, Lydia went over to the sofa, and knelt in front of Elle's head. Hesitantly, she grasped Elle's shoulder, shaking her gently.

"Elle," she said in a low voice, "Elle, come on, wake up,"

"Mhumm…" Elle murmured in her sleep, turning over. Lydia shook her harder.

"Elle,"

"What?" she asked, coming around, squinting in the dim light. She sat up sluggishly in her seat, rubbing at the sleep in her eyes. She must have felt the dried mascara too, because she began to scratch at her cheeks self consciously.

"You're upset about last night?" said Lydia. Elle shook her head slowly.

"No…yes,"

"Why?" she asked carefully.

"Morrie made a fool of me. I don't deserve that, and what will James think now?" she said, melancholy dripping in her voice. Lydia nodded, thinking a moment.

"It doesn't matter. What's done is done," she said soothingly.

"But James-"

"He does outrageous things with his friends all the time. I'm sure he wouldn't care." Lydia reassured her quietly.

"Really?" Elle solicited hopefully. Lydia nodded.

"Really,"

"I still can't believe Morrie said that…"

"You can't blame her, Elle. She doesn't know what she's saying usually. I know it can be hard at times, but it's an advantage at others."

"But, she said it just to spite me!" Elle exclaimed.

"No, I think she did it just to warn you," Lydia replied thoughtfully.

"What do you mean?"

"I think she's worried about you,"

"That's stupid! Why would ever make her worry about _me_!?" Lydia frowned.

"That's something only she can answer," Elle looked at her a moment questioningly.

"Are you worried about me?" she asked softly.

"Yes,"

"It's about Sirius, isn't it?" Elle said, almost painfully. Lydia nodded.

"I'm sorry, Elle. It's just-"

"No, no, please, I know," she took a deep breath, "All I want is for James to notice me, just for him to even look at me. I like him so much."

"That's not the right way to get his attention," Lydia said carefully. Elle looked at her and shook her head at the ground, choking on a sob.

"_What then_?" she blubbered, "I just want him to see me. If only he could look at me the way he looks at Lily Evans. If only he could realize that I'm here, that I'm just as good as _her_!"

She was crying now, her eyes reddening worse than before. Lydia just frowned, uncertain of what way to comfort her.

"Elle, shh, it's okay. I understand," she whispered finally, trying to calm her down. She suddenly grabbed hold of Lydia, pulling her into a hug, crying steadily on her shoulder

"Oh, Lydie! I've made such a mess of everything! I don't even _like _Sirius!" Elle sniveled into Lydia's sweater, "What am I supposed to do?" Lydia, patted her friends back calmly, a despondent look in her eyes.

"That can only be your decision," she said solemnly, but the truth was, she had no idea. She had never encountered a situation like this in her own experience.

"I've been so dumb!"

"No, you haven't. You just got too caught up. Don't blame yourself, Elle. Don't blame anyone."

"You're right… like always," she sniffled pulling away, and sitting back down on the couch. Lydia took a seat beside her.

"Well, I try," Lydia said with a sad sort of smile. Elle gave her a small one in return.

"Thanks, Lydie."

"You're welcome,"

They sat in silence for a moment before Lydia spoke again, "Maybe you should try to get some more sleep,"

"What time is it?" She asked, congested, as she tried to get rid of the old mascara on her face with the sleeve of her shirt.

"Around six o'clock,"

"That early? And you're up?" she asked in disbelief. Lydia nodded, "You're weird."

"So they tell me,"

"Yeah… I'll see you at breakfast and don't eat the eggs by the way. My horoscope said…" Elle said, getting up and walking up the spiral staircase to the dormitory, eventually out of hearing range. Lydia sighed when she left. She thought it was right to say things were a bit messed up with Elle. Gradually, she rose from her seat, picking up her books, ink and parchment, then heading towards the door. Casting on glance at the clock, she opened the porthole and stepped out. The library was open at six.

-----

It seemed Lydia was right as Madam Pince was already working steadily at her desk when she arrived in the library. The lead windows had been opened, letting in the morning's light. The nighttime torches were still lit though, the outside glow not enough to illuminate all parts of the large room, the nooks and crannies left in the gloom.

As Lydia shut the door behind her, Madam Pince looked up, casting an irritated glance that turned into a look of thin recognition.

"Ms. Lachlan," she greeted stiffly, "Up for some early morning studying?"

"You could say that," Lydia gave her a short, polite smile. Receiving a nod from the librarian, she headed towards the farthest corner of the library, past shelves and shelves of books to her regular work table. She sat down in the familiar, hard chair, fingers tracing the long ago stories carved deeply within the wood of the table. She smiled faintly at the tally marks that spread up and down the table she had made determining the number of mermish causalities in the goblin wars for an extra credit essay in History of Magic.

She opened the book to just after the midsection, and dipping her quill lightly in the ink, she began to read. Her nose had been stuck inside the book for a good half an hour when the sound of distant footsteps rang through the silent library. She ignored it, scribbling another annotation on a small piece of parchment. It was probably just Madam Pince, organizing books for the new term. It wasn't long before the footsteps started getting louder and louder, coming closer and closer to where Lydia sat. Suddenly, it stopped.

Lydia looked up. Standing in the path between two shelves was Snape, staring at her. She returned the gaze, willing herself not to cringe under his knowing eyes. His black orbs had a way of cutting right through and she didn't enjoy it.

"Hello," he said finally.

"Hello," Lydia repeated, sounding meeker than she wished. Taking this as an invitation, he came over to the table and stood by her side.

Silence…

"You… can sit down if you'd like…" Lydia said, breaking the silence and gesturing to the seat beside her. He nodded and sat stiffly, pulling out his own book from his uniform school robes. He gave her one last look before opening it.

Lydia tried to turn back to her own book, but his presence beside her was palpable and distracting. She couldn't think. Every time she went to read a line, her mind would wander, questioning Snape's sudden appearance. There were plenty of tables in the library. Why had he come to hers? Did he plan on sitting here before, unaware of her being there? Or had he known she was there and decided to come sit with her for some reason? And just exactly what was that reason?

"Do you not get something?" Snape asked, looking at her expectantly.

"What?" Lydia said dumbly, snapping back into reality.

"Do you not get something?" he said again, "You've been on the same page for five minutes now."

No, no… I'm fine," she said lamely.

"Right… what are you reading?"

"Arthur and Merlin, Their Influences on Each Other and the Wizarding World," she lifted up the cover for him to read.

"I'm afraid I haven't read it,"

"It's quite good, if you can handle Brahamus's repetitive style. I swear he says, 'smiled bitterly' at least every two paragraphs."

"I know what you mean. I've read Tales of the Round Table and Their True Meaning. His writing is very monotonous." He said.

"Very, I mean the information is wonderful. He certainly did a lot of research, but it's almost like the book wasn't even edited before it was printed."

"Well, Brahamus was a wizard of the eighteenth century. He probably didn't have the means to be properly edited." He pointed out.

"Don't you think he would have noticed it? His errors?"

"I heard he was schizophrenic," he said casually. Lydia tilted her head at him, a bit confused.

"Well, there's an answer," she said smiling, "…that was a joke, right?"

"Yes, actually it was," he said thoughtfully.

"Not a very good one," Lydia laughed. Snape shook his head, slightly… smirking?

"It was pretty bad, wasn't it?"

"Yes, yes it was," she agreed, still grinning at him. He looked away, any trace of a smile or even a smirk now gone, turning his view to the clock.

"It's almost seven," he said, "Are you going down to breakfast?"

"Yes… are you?"

"I suppose," he said. Lydia stood up, and started getting her things together.

"Well, I'm going to go down there now… if you'd like to come?" she asked awkwardly. He nodded, standing. She moved first, walking through the shelves, him trailing behind. As they pulled out of the library, he came up to walk next to her in silence. The whole trip to the Great Hall was completely uncomfortable. When they finally reached the large doors, he departed to the Slytherin table without a word. She watched him as she walked over to the Ravenclaw Table. He sat alone, by himself, just as she was. That was different though. In a few minutes, Elle and Morrie would come tumbling downstairs and would plop themselves beside her, chattering animatedly. Who did he have? She didn't think she had really ever seen him being all that friendly with anyone and the thing was he seemed nice, just odd.

Then again, that was the thing that threw her off about him. He acted nice, but he was still so strange, just the way he went about things. He was intelligent too, but almost too much so. He cared more about academics than she did and she found that a bit weird. He just gave her a creepy vibe. He was not to be trusted, she decided.

As she predicted, Elle and Morrie burst into the room. Morrie was obviously harassing Elle about something, causing Lydia to grimace. If Morrie just kept her mouth shut, Elle would not be half as dramatic as she was. Elle stuck her nose up and glared before walking over to Lydia and sitting beside her. Lydia could have laughed. She was trying to look superior by craning her neck and sitting straight, but she looked more like a giraffe than anything else. She didn't say anything though, just observed Morrie prance over to the Gryffindor Table leaning over to talk to a red headed girl, Lily Evans. As Lydia went to grab a piece of toast, Elle grabbed her elbow.

"What?" Lydia asked, looking over at her friend.

"Don't look now, but he's looking at you again," she whispered. Lydia went to turn her head to see who Elle was talking about, but received a hard pinch form Elle. "I said not to look, you moron. Do you want to look like an idiot? You know in Witch Weekly it said Pisces should try to make your first impression the best-"

"Who?"

"Though it really wouldn't be a first impress- what?"

"Who is looking at me?" Lydia said, keeping her voice low.

"OH! Right!" she exclaimed.

"And you're telling me not to draw attention…"

"Sorry!" she said in a shrill whisper. Lydia cringed.

"Could you just tell me who it is?"

"Right..." Her eyes shifted around them, making sure no one was listening, "Remus Lupin," she answered finally.

"Really?"

"Yeah, he's doing it rather blatantly right now. I think he digs you." Elle said, taking a bite of her egg.

"You did not just say he 'digs' me," she said in disbelief.

"Hmm… I did," she chewed, "He is kind of cute… you two would be good together."

"You're kidding!"

"No, really, he's smart and he definitely likes you. Is it just me or do you smell a relationship here."

"All I smell is a crazy girl who wants to get in someone's pants who just happens to be a friend of Remus's," Lydia said knowingly. Elle's mouth opened, looking appalled.

"I resent that!" she screeched, starting to look upset. Lydia sighed.

"Elle, I didn't mean that…"

"Sure you didn't!"

"Well, it's the truth, isn't it?!" Lydia snapped. No matter how good of friends she and Elle were, Elle had really been getting on her nerves with the whole 'boy crazy' act. Sure, she felt bad for Elle with the Sirius situation, but when she tried to hook her up with a friend of the guy she liked, it was too much.

"Fine if that's how you feel-"

"It is," Morrie added, just coming back from the Gryffindor Table, performing her prefect duty by handing out schedules to all the Ravenclaws.

"- then I'm not talking to you!" she yelled, shoving the bench back and stalking out of the hall, a great chip on her shoulder, her nostrils catching the breeze, people staring. Elle, it seemed, just had a way of getting bad attention.

Lydia groaned and put her head in her hands, wanting to disappear. Why was Elle so impossible?

"Well, look on the bright side," Morrie said sarcastically, taking Elle's seat.

"And what would that be?" Lydia grumbled.

"We have double potions first with the Hufflepuffs," Morrie smirked, handing her a schedule. Lydia's eyes widened as she looked down at it for proof of Morrie's statement.

"You've got to be kidding me! The Hufflepuffs will kill us all in potions!"

"Not before they give us a very amusing show," Morrie grinned, jumping up with a piece of toast and throwing her bag over her shoulder, "I'll see you there,"

"See you," Lydia waved her off, grabbing a bagel grudgingly and biting into it fiercely.

What a great start to the day…

-----

**A/N**- I am so sorry about the delay! I've been really bad, sleeping over friend's houses when I should be writing! Forgive me!

And behold! Snape is actually in the chapter for more than one MSW page… ok, so he's in it for like a page and a half…I feel bad again…

I really just like this song. It really doesn't have all to do with the chapter… but it just sort of fit… and I don't care what people say about Switchfoot! I think they're cool. I don't think it matters that they're Christian or what. It's just music, if you like it, go with it and that's all I have to say about that…

I'd just like to thank my reviewers who I love… not in THAT way though… you guys are just awesome… that doesn't mean I feel that way though… I'm just gonna stop talking.

**Kerichi**- I've been playing And She Was all week after that. It's really sad… Don't worry; I'm sure Elle is a good lay. She has to be. I wouldn't do that to her. YES! Down with the Schools! ANARCHY I SAY! …wow, I need to stop… is it sad that all my friends ALWAYS monkey bite each other? So annoying… and it WILL be a long fic. I think it would have to be at the rate I'm going… blue eye shadow and slipping out pet names… lots of amusement for me at Lydia's expense… can see it now…

**Miaou**- HEY! I put Snape in! Yes! I only had to rack my brain for how to get a real situation… and it unfortunately turned out really cliché… that is ok though… Yeah, I'm really happy about the three girls… they're kind of a bit like the three fairies from Sleeping Beauty in a sense… ok, not really, but I really like those fairies.

**Ali**- I just love your randomness… and Rupert Grint does have cool shoes! Orange Converse Rock! I have royal blue ones actually.

By the way, my homepage on my Author Page is my Livejournal. My Modblog was eaten or something so it doesn't work, but my Livejournal is a lot better and I put up all sorts of writing up if you want to check it out. I always put up random cookies from Heaven Sent too if you want to get a sneak peek or something. Comment too on anything you read. I like hearing people's opinions on my writing because a lot of it is original.

So yes, that is all for now. Please tell me what you think.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW! LONG RAMBLY ONES PREFERRED!

I am so sad…


	8. Silver Waterfalls

**Heaven Sent**

Silver Waterfalls

_clouds roll by overhead  
like giant rays coast a dried up ocean bed  
dancing winds blow a parody  
of swirling currents in a long forgotten sea _

_Shimmer glimmer  
shimmer on me  
the sparkling souls of dreaming children call  
shimmer glimmer  
shimmer on me  
in streets that shine like silver waterfalls _

_In your eyes in the skies  
in the blood burning Indian sunrise  
shimmer on me (in sleep we grow) _

_We were here long ago  
and now we roam like ghostly buffalo  
first two lies then two tears  
subtle curves, now glistening souvenirs _

_In your eyes in the skies  
in the blood burning Indian sunrise  
shimmer on me (awake and glow) _

_Shivering in silver waterfalls  
anoint me in silver waterfalls_

_Silver Waterfalls_- Siouxsie and the Banshees

-----

Lydia shivered as she entered the bleak dungeons, the temperature having dropped profoundly as she had gotten further underground. Upon entering the old classroom, she saw Morrie sitting next to an open seat and waving her over. Lydia smiled gratefully as she plopped herself down, taking a glance around the room.

Almost all the sixth year Ravenclaws were there, greatly overriding the few Hufflepuffs. This was an advanced class for students who had done well on their O.W.L.S. The Hufflepuffs who were there weren't genuinely smart, just hard workers and Lydia was almost alright with that, just as long as they didn't keep the class behind.

Professor Cluny was already something up on the clean start black board.

"Paracelsus," Morrie read matter-of-factly, "What the hell is that?"

Lydia sighed in irritation, "Morrie, the mentioned Paracelsus in that book we used last year for our essay on Wit- Sharpening potions… or did you even read that?

"I assure you I did! Maybe not as carefully as I should have-"

"Ah, everybody here? Yes, good then. Welcome back, everyone," Professor Cluny began, cutting off Morrie, and causing her to fall silent. Lydia wasn't sure if she minded or not, "Well, I'm sure you all know the drill, so I won't have to explain the safety issues and such to you? Yes, good then. Let's get started right away, a fair lot to cover this year. Obviously, we won't be making any potions on the first day back-" There were scattered groans from some students, "So, if you'd just take out a piece of parchment for notes… everybody ready? Yes, good then. Alright, can anybody tell me who Paracelsus was?"

And silence…

Lydia put her hand to her face.

"Nobody? Come on, people. It's not a hard question. I would expect you all to know it now with all the research and information you've accumulated over the past few years. This isn't good… not good at all." Professor Cluny frowned looking around the room at all the guilty faces. He sighed, "Anybody want to take a guess?"

Again, no one made a move. Lydia bit her lip. She hated answering questions.

Slowly, she raised her hand, trying as hard as she could not to look nervous.

"Yes, Miss Lachlan?"

"Paracelsus was a fifteenth century alchemist who worked in medical magic." She answered.

"Yes, very good. Five points to Ravenclaw. Yes, good then. Paracelsus also known as-" he began writing furiously on the board and the students followed his lead, "Auroleus Phillipus Theostratus Bombastus von Hohenheim set a new precedent in medicinal magics. He developed numerous potions and spells, his most notable probably Skele-Grow. We will be looking at a few of his potions this term, even creating some of them. No- not Skele-Grow, it's just too hard to get the right ingredients with the measly budget the ministry sets us on, and plus it's a dreadful mess when done wrong. However, we will be developing a weak blood replenishing potion Paracelsus introduced. Be prepared to start your work on that for next class which is… two days from now. Yes, good then. Paracelsus was born in 1493 to-"

Professor Cluny continued to lecture as he wrote important excerpts up on the board to be copied down. Ever time the board got too full, he would clear it with the flick of his wand only to fill it up again. Lydia took her notes diligently, her parchment soon covered with her messy, spidery writing. Occasionally, she would look over to Morrie's paper to see the round cursive in perfect set lines, bordered by elaborate doodles that Morrie drew with no effort. Lydia would not be able to draw something like the dragon that now wrapped around Morrie's page in a thousand years.

Lydia could tell Morrie was getting bored with the class. True, notes were not the most exciting thing to do in the world, but Lydia didn't mind. It was almost relaxing to her. She didn't really half to think to take notes, just copy things down. Therefore the class went by almost too quickly, and passed a lot easier than she had thought it would be. Soon enough, she was leaving the room, bag slung over her shoulder, and heading back up to Ravenclaw Tower with Morrie to pick up her things for the next class.

-----

She couldn't say it had been bad, nor could she say it was great. It was simply being back at school, and though she was glad to be out of the bookshop, she was happy her classes had already passed and she had some time to be alone. Lydia had planned on doing some reading in the common room, but after arriving to find Morrie and Elle in a dreadful row, she expertly turned on her heal and went straight to the library- her haven.

She entered the little cove that held her favorite table only to find someone else occupying it. As soon as she saw the shadowy figure, she quickly made a move to find another table, but a dark voice stopped her.

"Now, it's all right. I'll go,"

Lydia spun around, taking a step closer to find it was only Severus or Snape. Yes, Snape, now gathering his things together, and stacking a mean pile of books for take out.

"No, really, you don't have to leave. You were here first. I didn't mean to intrude." Lydia said, stepping farther into the bitter torch light. Severus- Snape looked up at her from his greasy veil of black hair, before sitting back down again contented. She stood for a moment, before making to leave again, but once more, his voice prevented her from doing so.

"You're perfectly welcome to sit here if you'd like," he said. She looked back to him, questioning his invitation, if it even was that. The look on his face didn't seem to mind her, only a quiet waiting for her decision. There was certainly enough room at the table, and who said she had to always read alone. But this morning, he had made her nervous, and she couldn't concentrate. Maybe it would be-

She cut that thought off, mentally scowling for her stupidity. She had been standing there for quite a while trying to make a decision, and he was still looking at her expectantly. He must think weirdly of her now, if he did not before. If there was one thing she was not, it was decisive. Sighing, she took a seat across from him.

Looking over at him, she saw that he had returned to his book, and she did the same, taking out her own book.

And she was right. He was distracting.

She couldn't concentrate with him there. It wasn't even like he wasn't doing anything, but she just couldn't focus. She kept looking back to him, his eyes moving across the small print in his own book. Groaning, she threw down her book and put her head in her hands.

Snape looked startled, "Is something wrong?"

"Oh- um…no, I just- this book is a tad boring." She stammered. He nodded.

"Sorry to hear it."

"Eh… yeah."

He looked at her a moment, "Can you help me with something?"

"Um… sure."

"I'm looking for some information on the Giants. I thought you'd might know something on the subject."

Immediately Lydia was drawn in, "Yes, actually, I know quite a lot. What did you need to know?"

"I'm looking for some migrating patterns of the, perhaps, and a list of colonies they've had over the past two hundred years. Do you know of any resources like that?"

She thought for a moment, "Well, if there was something like that, it would be rare. Giants aren't the sort of creatures most choose to research, and their hostile nature makes it practically impossible for observation, so references are few and far between. I'm afraid you'd need to get all the sources together and derive a list yourself. I'm not sure its worth all the trouble though…"

"It is worth it."

"Then, I would start by getting a permission note for the restricted section. That's were all the reliable sources are."

"Would you be willing to help me? It's going to be a long project, and I need your expertise."

Though he said it with his cold tinge, she was a bit flattered. She could here no sarcasm, no mocking, and she was pleased. She gave him a tight lipped smile.

"Of course, I'll help. It would be good for me to be concentrating on some project know that O.W.L.s are over and done with."

"Good," he nodded, briskly, "but I'm afraid I must be on my way though. I wanted to get some things done before dinner. Perhaps, if I get that note, we can get to work this weekend."

"That sounds fine to me… Saturday?"

"I'll meet you after breakfast here. Don't be late."

"I won't, don't worry."

He nodded again, and without another word, turned on his heel and left, his black school robes billowing behind him. Lydia watched him go shaking her head. He was so odd, yet somewhat interesting to be around with his intelligence. She didn't have a lot of friends who were interested in the migrating patterns of Giants over the past two hundred years. She wondered what it was for, but if he was anything like her; it was probably just that curiosity that distracted you from anything else.

-----

Morrie plopped herself beside Lydia at dinner, taking a large glop of mash potatoes and dumping on her plate. Lydia watched her with raised eyebrows.

"Hungry, are we?"

"Starving," Morrie replied, mouth stuffed, "I missed lunch."

"Why?"

"Hospital Wing- I stepped on a bottle of nail polish- a broken bottle of nail polish." She said grimly.

"Are you okay?" Lydia asked, concerned.

"Oh, yeah, but Elle's not."

"What did you do to each other?!"

"Nothing much… just a bit of a row in the dormitory." Morrie said nonchalantly.

"Is she in the Infirmary?"

"Well, yes, but you wound too if you got a potions book to the head."

"You threw the potions book at her? That thing is huge?!" Lydia was shocked. This whole thing with Elle and Morrie had just gone too far.

"I thought she had sense enough to duck!" the other girl said defensively.

"That's your excuse?!"

"…yes…"

"Morrie! This is getting out of hand! You could have really hurt her!"

"And she really hurt me! The glass went through my foot entirely! I was in the Hospital Wing all afternoon getting drugged up with this and that just so Madame Pomfrey could close the Merlin damned wound!"

"And she'll be the Hospital Wing all night, if not more! Really, what were you thinking?!"

"What it would be like to be Minister of Magic?"

"This is not the time to joke around with me, Morrie! I'll tell you, I've had enough of you, the both of you! Would you just try to grow the bloody hell up!?" Lydia hissed, jumping up and grabbing her things before storming out of the Great Hall. She just did not the time to deal with this sort of thing anymore, nor did she want to. Sighing, she trucked up the numerous stairs, just beginning her long journey to Ravenclaw Tower.

-----

A/N- Ahhh! I'm a horrible person! I am so sorry! Things just got insane, I was in a play, I had writer's block, all honors classes and those really aren't good excuses! I promise you, I've found my muse again, and I will be getting updates out sooner! So, sorry!

Hey, I need a beta reader if anyone is interested, so just contact me in some way through reviewing or my live journal, or even email. Whatever.

Thanks to all my reviewers and please keep reviewing, tell me if you like it or if you hate it or if you or a vegetarian or whatever. I love long, random rambles for reviews. They are so entertaining!

So PLEASE GIVE ME SOME LONG RAMBLY REVIEWS!


	9. Certain Shade of Green

**Heaven Sent**

A Certain Shade of Green

_A certain shade of green  
tell me, is that what you need?  
All signs around say move ahead  
could someone please explain to me  
your ever present lack of speed?  
Are your muscles bound by ropes?  
Or do crutches cloud your day?  
My sources say the road is clear  
and street signs point the way _

Are you gonna stand around  
till 2012 A.D.?  
What are you waiting for  
a certain shade of green?  
I think I grew a gray  
watching you procrastinate  
what are you waiting for  
a certain shade of green?

Would a written invitation signed,  
"Choose now or lose it all"  
sedate your hesitation?  
Or inflame and make you stall?  
You've been raised in limitation  
but that glove never fit quite right  
the time has past for hand-me-downs  
choose anew, please evolve, take flight

Are you gonna stand around  
till 2012 A.D.?  
What are you waiting for  
a certain shade of green?  
I think I grew a gray  
watching you procrastinate

Green, what are you waiting for?  
What are you waiting for?  
A written invitation?  
A public declaration? Yeah  
a private consolation? whoooa  
remember when you procrastinate  
you choose last  
I think I grew a gray  
watching you procrastinate

Are you gonna stand around  
till 2012 A.D.?  
What are you waiting for  
a certain shade of green?  
I think I grew a gray  
watching you procrastinate

what are you waiting for?  
What are you waiting for?  
What are you waiting for?  
What are you waiting for?  
What are you waiting for?  
What are you waiting for?  
What are you waiting for?

_Certain Shade of Green-_ Incubus

-----

The week passed quickly enough for Lydia, almost too quickly, and soon she found herself waking up Saturday morning, a very worried look on her face. Throwing the sheets of herself, she began to pace around the circular room.

She hadn't really minded the thought of working with Snape before, but now as she was on the verge of going down to breakfast, and later to join him in the library, she was worried. What if he wasn't as nice, well not nice- alright as she thought he was? What if turned out to be horribly dreadful today, and made her do all the work? What if he really was a Death Eater and he was just using her to get information?

No, that was stupid. Number one, the only information she had was about Giants, and number two, why on Earth would the Death Eaters ever need to know about Giants? She was being stupid and she knew it. Sighing, she headed to the bathroom she shared with the rest of her dormitory and took a quick shower, before braiding her hair to hang down one of her shoulders, and throwing on a dark blue jumper with a faded pair of blue jeans.

When she made it down to the Great Hall, she found Morrie and Elle to already be there, sitting next to each other, but still far apart. Elle had gotten out of the hospital two days ago, a large cut donning her cheek from where the edge of Morrie's potion book had hit her. To say she was mad would be an understatement. Not only did Elle start a huge screaming match a twelve o'clock at night, the two hadn't been talking ever since, annoying Lydia to no end.

She carefully placed herself across the table from the two girls, and fitting in with the silence, quietly ate her eggs. She watched the two closely, every once and a while seeing them send a wistful look at the other until they were caught, and then both were glaring at each other. Maybe this whole fight wouldn't last after all.

Then, suddenly out of the blue, Elle spoke, "He's looking at you again."

"Who? Remus Lupin?" Lydia asked, receiving a nod from Elle. Slowly, she turned her head over to the Gryffindor table, just catching his gaze. He looked somewhat startled at first, but gave her a sheepish smile, which she returned with tight lipped one, before turning back around.

"He's cute, you know," Morrie pointed out. Lydia nodded.

"And he obviously likes you," Elle said.

Lydia shook her head, "I don't think so,"

"What? Why on Earth not?!"

"The guy is practically undressing you with his eyes," Morrie added.

Elle hit Morrie's shoulder lightly, looking scandalized, "Please, Morrie, grow up. Now Lydie, he obviously has feelings for you."

"Good feelings at that."

"I don't know," Lydia said, doubtfully, "He's just- I don't know."

"Lydie, he likes you, and if you mess things up, I will never forgive you." Elle said.

"What? You're not the one who should be worrying about this," said Morrie.

"Lydie is my friend and therefore I am concerned about her own welfare. She really doesn't take care of herself."

"Not in her social life you mean."

"Well, naturally, I mean look at some of the people she hangs out with-" said Elle.

"If you two mean Snape, well-" Lydia started.

"Yes, she is lucky to have yes to balance her reputation-" Morrie said

"He's really not that bad-"

"Because Rowena knows she wouldn't do it herself." Elle finished, exchanging a mischievous look with Morrie.

Lydia sighed, "I thought you guys were fighting…"

"Only when we don't have to unite against a common evil." Morrie said.

"You think I'm a common evil?"

Elle snorted, "No, Lydie, we just think your choice in ensemble is a common evil. Look at what you're wearing."

"It is a bit drab," Morrie put in.

"Drab? You two are insane, and probably bipolar at that. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to be somewhere," Lydia said, getting up.

"See you at lunch?" Morrie asked. Lydia nodded.

"See you, Lydie," Elle said, just before Lydia turned and made her way towards the huge doors that lead out of the Great Hall. She quickly went through them, but as she began trucking up the stairs that lead to the library, someone called her name behind her.

"Hey, Lydia! Wait up!"

She turned around to see Remus Lupin running up the stairs to meet her. He stopped abruptly, catching his breath, and giving her an embarrassed grin.

"Hi, Remus," Lydia greeted awkwardly, "What can I do for you?"

"Um… actually I was wondering if I could ask you a question?"

"You sort of just did."

"Well, another one then?"

"Oh, yeah…"

Remus rubbed the back of his neck nervously, and Lydia was looking down at her nails, picking at the furiously, "Would you- I thought- Do you want to go with me on the next Hogsmeade weekend?" he said finally. Lydia looked a bit surprised.

"Oh- really?" she asked, "Like on a date?"

"Um, yeah- You don't have to if you don't want to," he added hastily.

Lydia thought for a moment. He was actually asking her out, and she found it weird, yet strangely flattering. He was nice and cute as Elle and Morrie had said. Maybe they were right. Maybe she should give it a chance…

"I think I'd like that," she said.

"Oh, so you don't want to go?" he said miserably.

"Oh no! That's not what I meant. I meant to say I would like to go with you."

"Oh… so you'll go with me- on a date?"

"Yes."

"Alright, it's a date then."

"Yes, it is…"

And then comes the silence- a very awkward silence.

"Where are you heading?" Remus broke in.

"I'm just heading up to the library."

"Homework?"

"No, not really… I really should be going though," she said, looking towards the top of the stairs.

"Why don't I walk you there?" he suggested.

"Oh, alright,"

So, they started up the stairs in silence. It didn't seem there was much to talk about, or at least they were both too nervous to say anything. Lydia was glad when the library finally came in sight, and they stopped at its wooden doors.

"I guess I'll see you later then," Remus said.

"Yes… and thank you for walking me up."

"No problem… he maybe we can talk about Hogsmeade tomorrow, you know, get a plan sort of…"

"That sounds good."

"Alright, I'll see you later then,"

"Bye," Lydia waved awkwardly and watched as he walked away. She was not exactly sure how she felt about the whole dating thing, and surely she liked Remus, but she had never been really friends with him. They were just sort of… friendly, she guessed.

Giving up on that train of thought, she entered the library, catching a glimpse of the clock. She was five minutes late. Hastily, she hurried over to the table to find Snape already there, sitting, as he read from an old tome. She put her bag down beside the chair across for him, the noise causing him to look up.

"You're late," he stated.

"I know. Did you get the note?"

"Yes, Professor Cluny was more than willing."

"Good, can I see it?"

"Here," he handed her a yellow piece of parchment, covered in a messy scrawl. She read the note over before nodding.

"The note has to be with us when we are in the Restricted Section, so I think we can only go one at a time. I know where we can find the books, so do you want me to go and get them?" she asked.

"Fine."

Lydia took this as leave, and slowly made her way to the dark depths of the library were books of the darkest kind hung on their shelves. The two shelves into the Restricted Section were blocked by a think rope going across the pathway. She looked at for a moment, before stepping over it and into the towering area of books.

She had been here before. It was not a big deal, but still she did not like it. She never had. Darkness emanated from these tomes and she hated it. Hastily, she found three books that she though would be helpful, and brought them out, scurrying back to the table at which Snape sat.

"Did you get what you needed?" he asked. She nodded, placing the three books down in front of him- _Creatures of the Darkest Nature, Giants and their Influence on the Nomadic Tribes of Early Europe_, and _the Character of Giants._

"Is this all you could find?" he questioned, looking over the books.

"I'm sure there are more books containing the subject of Giants, but these are the only books that really have giants as a main topic in them."

"They're old," Snape pointed out.

"I know, but it's the best we have."

"You think more people would write about Giants."

"Giants are pretty violent. I wouldn't want to observe them," said Lydia.

"I would think someone would though."

"Not in this day and age. Wizards aren't wacky enough anymore."

"There are some pretty wacky wizards."

"And they end up in the closed ward of St. Mungo's."

"True… We should get started," he said.

Lydia sat down, "I was going over this, and I think we should probably read through these books and make a sort of a timeline. You know, writing down the year and place the Giants were staying whenever we come across the right information. Does that sound alright?"

"And then what?"

"Well, this is going to take a long time, you know. You don't think we are just going to get it done in one day?"

"I wasn't aware it would be that hard."

"It's not hard, just time consuming. We are going to have to get through tons of books just to get a legitimate list of locations. Then, of course, we have to make the actual pattern formula, which will be a bit of a chore," she said, matter-of-factly.

"How many books are you thinking?"

"I'd say around one hundred, maybe more."

"That many?"

"We have to go through history books of every type just to find a mention of our subject. It's not going to be a quick project."

"I wasn't aware it was this complicated, either," he said, irritated now.

"Don't worry, I'll find the books. You just read and take notes."

He nodded, and took the top book off the pile and began reading. She did the same, taking out a piece of parchment.

"You go all out for things."

She looked up, "Sometimes," and then stuck her nose back in the book, hoping to get something accomplished.

-----

It was eight o'clock when Lydia and Snape got kicked out of the library by a very snippy Madame Pince, telling them it was time the library closed. The two had parted their ways with barely two words. Lydia guessed Severus was a bit annoyed at the amount of work he was going to have to do, which was odd, seeing as he had never seemed to mind reading and such. Then again, she had never really known him that well.

They hadn't gotten much done, not even finishing two of the three books. Lydia had taken two of them to work through during the week, and he took the other. So far, they didn't even have half a page of location. She had thought they would be a little more successful with those books, but it seemed even the authors were vague on the Giants locations, and the most recent author had nothing to say on the subject, seeing as Giants hadn't been sighted in years.

She sighed upon entering the dormitory, her eyes tired from the hours of reading she had dine that day. She looked over to find lying stomach down on her bed, reading the newest issue of Witch Weekly, and she could hear Morrie banging around in the bathroom.

Elle looked up, "Lydie!" she squealed, standing up and give Lydia a fierce hug, "I am so happy for you! It is just so exciting!"

Lydia was confused for a moment, finally remembering the whole ordeal with Remus this morning. That was what Elle must have been talking about.

"Oh, can I help you pick what you're going to wear?" Elle continued, pulling away, and headed over to Lydia's trunk and throwing it open, "No… that won't work…hmm, not that either… maybe- no… Do you want to borrow something of mine?"

"Elle, leave her alone. She's just going out on a date. In October, might I add? You have a month to pick out her wardrobe for the affair." Morrie said, coming into the dormitory with a white bathrobe on and a towel wrapped around her hair.

"But it's just so exciting! Oh, Lydie, you have to tell us everything about it!"

"Actually, I was going to get some reading done…"

"Weren't you in the library all day?" Morrie said.

"Well, yes, but I still have some more to do."

"Lydie, you are such a drag sometimes!" Elle exclaimed, folding her arms across her chest.

"And this drag is going down to the Common Room, where hopefully I can get some peace and quiet." Lydia said, taking an exit and hurrying down to her destination. Luckily, she would find a good seat by the fire as she took up some reading on the odd subject of Giants.

-----

A/N- See, I'm getting better, I'm updating. So Happy Thanksgiving everybody! And please tell me what you think, feel free to ask random questions and give me your input.

A word about Courtney Love- Yes I think she killed Kurt Cobain. Do I think she's a bad musician? Hell no! I love Hole as a band, and I think she's one of the best singers ever. In fact, my bad is doing a Hole cover, but that doesn't mean I can't think she killed Kurt Cobain.

So please review! And if you ask a question, I will answer.

PLEASE GIVE ME SOME LONG RAMBLY REVIEWS!


	10. Wash It All Away

**Heaven Sent**

Wash It All Away

_You hold the answers deep within your own mind.  
Consciously, you've forgotten it.  
That's the way the human mind works.  
Whenever something is too unpleasant, too shameful for us  
to entertain, we reject it.  
We erase it from our memories.  
But the answer is always there. _

(Can't wash it all away)  
(Can't Wish it all away)  
(Can't hope it all away)  
(Can't cry it all away)

The pain that grips you  
The fear that binds you  
Releases life in me  
In our mutual  
Shame we idolize  
To blind them from the truth  
That finds a way from who we are  
Please don't be afraid  
When the darkness fades away  
The dawn will break the silence  
Screaming in our hearts  
My love for you still grows  
This I do for you  
Before I try to fight the truth  
my final time

We're supposed to try and be real.  
And I feel alone, and we're not together. And that is real.

Can't wash it all away  
Can't wish it all away  
Can't cry it all away  
Can't scratch it all away

Lying beside you  
Listening to you breathe  
The life that flows inside of you  
Burns inside of me  
Hold and speak to me  
Of love without a sound  
Tell me you will live through this  
And I will die for you  
Cast me not away  
Say you'll be with me  
For I know I cannot  
Bear it all alone

You're not alone, are you?  
Never... Never.

Can't fight it all away  
Can't hope it all away  
Can't scream it all away  
It just won't fade away, No

Can't wash it all away  
Can't wish it all away  
Can't cry it all away  
Can't scratch it all away

(Can't fight it all away)  
(Can't hope it all away)  
Can't scream it all away  
Ooh, it all away  
Ooh, it all away

But the answer is always there. Nothing is ever reallyforgotten.  
Because I'm tired of it too.  
Because I'm tired of it too.  
Because I'm tired of it too.  
Because I'm tired of it too.  
Because I'm tired of it too.

_Wash It All Away_- Evanescence

-----

Sunday had passed without any importance, and soon again it was Monday, which meant History of Magic with the Slytherins.

Lydia, Morrie, and Elle all made their way up to Professor Binns' room, Morrie chatting merrily to both of them over some Muggle band, claiming they were the next to the Hobgoblins in comparison of the two worlds. Lydia highly disagreed, seeing as the Hobgoblins were her favorite band, and nobody could compare to the Hobgoblins, not even this Pink Floyd Morrie was talking about.

Some students were already in the classroom, two Slytherins and most of the Ravenclaw boys. Morrie and Elle quickly took up seats at on table, pretty much leaving Lydia on her own. She grumbled a bit, but just loud enough for the two to hear before taking a seat at the table behind them.

One by one, stray students came in who Lydia knew from previous classes in previous years, each taking seats with their friends, until the classroom was fairly full. The last group to enter the classroom was a company of Slytherins- Roderick Nott, Zachary Jugson, and Snape. All three spoke in hushed whispers, parting slowly as Jugson and Nott came to take seats in front of Morrie and Elle, and Snape walked over to Lydia's table.

"May I sit here?" he asked. Lydia was a bit caught of guard. Sure, they were working together, and had that whole day in Diagon Alley, but it still seemed odd that they were somewhat friendly and he was portraying it in the presence of their peers.

"Yes," Lydia answered moving some parchment of hers off his side of the table. He sat down, taking out a quill and ink for notes along with some yellowed parchment. The quill was cheap, and so was everything about him, she noticed. His robes were not expensive and the shoes on his feet were shameful, but she had never realized it before. Maybe it was the way he carried himself, or his ability to speak with such eloquence, but he seemed much nobler than he actually was.

"Do you need something?" he said, and suddenly Lydia realized she must have been looking at him for quite a while. She shook her head furiously, before looking down at the worn table in front of her.

Professor Binns in all his ghostly appearance floated into the classroom, immediately jumping into his droning lecture, and Lydia started scribbling every important bit she could hear. She knew a lot of the information he was giving out already, but it was just easier to keep each fact in a set system from which she could study later. Occasionally, she would take a glance at Snape, whose fingertips were turning white from the pressure he put on his quill. He was so concentrated, his ominous black eyes flicking back and forth from every new word he wrote in his jagged scrawl.

She rather liked his handwriting- harsh and rough, but somehow elegant. It could go from messy to neat in a few seconds, and beautiful to hideous in no time at all. Soon she found herself spending more and more time concentrating on what he was writing rather than on what she should be writing. Abruptly, she cut her glance away, mentally scolding herself for paying such little attention to her own notes. She instantly set her concentration on Professor Binns and refused to be distracted the Snape at all.

Class went by slowly, and dreadfully boring. The Goblin Wars were not exactly an interesting subject, and Lydia was glad when the class was dismissed. As she began to put her things away, something tapped her arm. She looked over to see Snape, his arm extended to give her a note. She took it, looking at him for a second and he returned with an almost calculating stare, before turning and exiting the classroom.

Lydia slowly unfolded the paper and there in his familiar writing was written,

**_Meet me at our table- six o'clock. We have a lot to do._**

Well, that certainly wasn't an understatement. They did have a lot to do. Lydia had finished up those two books by yesterday, but had barely gotten anything out of them. They had given her basically the same information, and she knew they were going to look hard to find anything new. Hopefully they would get a break tonight, but she seriously doubted it.

"Lydie, come on. We've got Transfiguration." Elle called to her. Lydia hastily crumpled the note and put it in her robe pocket, hurrying after her two friends.

-----

Soon enough, lunch came, and it was much to everyone's relief. McGonagall had not been very nice, giving her students loads of homework that Lydia was sure she would not get done by six tonight.

Lydia was sitting, joined in a loose conversation with Elle, Morrie and Emmaline Vance when she got her second tap on the shoulder.

"Hi, Lydia," It was Remus. Lydia gave him a small smile and then looked back to her group of friends, now giving her knowing smirks, "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Of course," Lydia said, getting up. The pair walked over to an isolated corner of the Great Hall to speak in private.

"So, about Hogsmeade- I was thinking we could meet in the Entrance Hall with everyone, then maybe head over to the bookstore when we get there, or a trip to Honeyduke's or Zonko's? We could get lunch at the Three Broomsticks." Remus told her.

Lydia nodded, "That sounds fine to me."

"Great… well, I better get going- Transfiguration homework."

"Yeah, I should probably get back to my lunch…"

"I'll see you around then."

"Bye." She said, walking back to her table.

For some reason, she didn't feel comfortable with this whole Hogsmeade trip. Remus was nice, but look at how awkward their meetings always ended up to be. It was somehow much easier to talk to him when there wasn't this whole date thing hanging over their heads.

And part of her was almost disappointed in the whole plan Remus made. It was sweet how he did that really, but she felt like too much had been let out, like a secret was told. She almost liked it when she didn't know what they were going to do. Now, the whole thing just seemed so real.

She didn't like it.

So, instead of heading back to the Ravenclaw table, where she would have to give out every little detail of the short conversation- it wasn't even really a conversation- she turned around and headed up to the Common Room, wanting to put some of that Transfiguration homework out of the way.

-----

Lydia was actually on time that night, meeting Snape at the same table from two days before.

"I've made up a list from this book," he said, handing her another sheet of parchment barely written on in his unique script. She looked it over before confirming it was exactly the same thing as she had.

"I didn't expect to have much from the first books, but this is ridiculous. We only have three known locations of settlement s over the last two hundred years, and two of them I'm not even sure are real." Lydia exclaimed, looking at the two groups of notes together.

"Well, we know they started off in the Caucasus Mountains, then moved up to Ural Mountains? These books all contain information about random Giant raids, nothing really about their lifestyles." Snape said, looking irritated, "There has to be someone who tracked Giants at any point…"

Lydia thought for a moment. She was not sure how her father would feel about it. Was this project really that important? She guessed not… but some part of her was determined to make that list. Some part of her even wanted to impress Snape, so he wouldn't think she was some amateur, that she really was intelligent. Maybe, she would write her father…

"I have an idea… here, let me go pick out some new books to look over, and then I'll go owl my father. He might have what we are looking for." She said, rushing off to the Restricted Section to pick out a few books to look over in the meantime and then on to the Owlery.

-----

It was early Saturday morning right before the Hogsmeade trip, and to throw of her profuse nervousness, Lydia consumed her thoughts with the book in front of her, yet another subject pertaining to Giants, and completely boring at that.

She was sitting casually on her bed when Morrie and Elle burst into the room, Elle taking Morrie's ear off with her complaints.

"This is SO ridiculous! I can't even believe it!" Elle cried out, throwing herself down on her bed.

"You wouldn't have gone anyway." Morrie said.

"Yes, I would have!"

"No, you wouldn't. Your family hates them."

"Wait- what are you talking about?" Lydia asked, putting the book down.

"I can't talk about it!"

"Elle's family wasn't invited to the Malfoy's Christmas Gala, and she's upset." Morrie informed.

"The Malfoy's? Do you know them?" Lydia asked.

"Of course! Doesn't everybody know them? Who do they think they are- not inviting the Edgecombes?! It's humiliation!"

"Elle, calm down," said Morrie.

"It's just not reasonable! Narcissa would never do this to my mother. I bet it was Lucius! That horrible oaf!"

Was Elle talking about Mr. Malfoy? He didn't seem horrible to Lydia…

"Mr. Malfoy isn't horrible. He seemed like the perfect gentleman to me."

"What?" Morrie said, "You've met Mr. Malfoy?"

"Yes," Lydia replied.

Elle took her head out of her pillow, "You've met Lucius Malfoy? When?"

"Over the summer, he had breakfast with me."

"Where?"

"At the Augurey's Nest. Why?"

"You went into the Augurey's Nest? With Mr. Malfoy?!" Elle said incredulously.

"And had breakfast…"

"Well, what did he say?"

"He just asked how I was and such."

"Anything else?"

"Um… he did mention something about-"

_Giants_

"-the shop- the bookshop."

_He asked about Giants._

"I cannot believe he took you to breakfast-"

_Snape wanted to know about Giants._

"For no reason at all-"

_How could she have forgotten?_

"Asking about the stupid shop of all things-"

_Why had she not put two and two together?_

"When he could be having breakfast with someone of real class-"

_What did they both want with the topic of Giants?_

"No offense, Lydie, but you are a half blood-"

_And what would both purebloods want the help of a half blood for in times like these?_

"It's ridiculous!"

_What was so important about Giants?_

"Lydie?"

_Did it-_

"Are you okay?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine… just zoned out for a minute."

Maybe she was just being stupid. Mr. Malfoy did not seem the type to make up some evil plot with Giants. Plus all the Giants were dead. Everyone knew that. They died in Grindelwald's war years ago. Snape was probably doing research for Mr. Malfoy or it could just be a coincidence. Why should she jump to conclusions?

"Worried about today?" Morrie said.

"Oh, yeah, Hogsmeade…" Lydia sighed. She did not want to go.

Plus, as much as she liked to deny it, she was actually doing this sort of research, even if it was with Snape.

"Rowena! I almost forgot!" Elle exclaimed, "Lydie, we have to get you ready!"

Lydia's eyebrows rose, "What do you mean _we_?"

-----

A/N- Yes, another chapter! Yoohoo!

So, thanks to all my wonderful reviewers. You truly make my day, seeing as I check my author page religiously… yes it's sad. Hey, it's really the only sort of payment I get for my wasted time- no it's not wasted. I just really appreciate when people review.

I've been having a bit of a hard time updating with these bugs FF. net has been getting. Hopefully, the site is back to working and won't be delaying me any further.

In fact- you want to here something funny? As I was typing this author's note up, I realized that water was coming out of my furnace room. Yes, my heater has rusted through. Even better, half an hour later, about two thirds of the town lost power- including me… note to you all, never rent some crap for crap apartment over the local surf shop when you're in high school…

So, that delayed me putting this up around five hours. I'm so sorry.

**SO PLEASE GIVE ME SOME LONG RAMBLY REVIEWS PEOPLE!** I WON'T UPDATE UNTIL 40!

No, I'm just kidding… nothing could stop me from writing… but a girl can dream…


	11. No Mermaid

**Heaven Sent**

No Mermaid

_We went down to the edge of the water  
You were afraid to go in  
You said there might be sharks out there in the ocean  
And I said I'm only going for a swim _

I was swimming around in a circle  
I wasn't always in view  
You said we might get into red flag danger  
And I am alone when I'm not with you

But I am no mermaid  
I am no mermaid  
And I am no fisherman's slave  
I am no mermaid  
I am no mermaid  
I keep my head above the waves

We were swinging from the centre of the ceiling  
You were afraid to give in  
I said I know I'll always live for this feeling  
And you closed your eyes you said never again

We were dancing in the middle of the desert  
You said we'll burn under the hot sun  
I said I'd rather be the colour of pleasure  
Than watch like you from under the thumb

But I am no mermaid  
I am no mermaid  
And I am no fisherman's slave  
I am no mermaid  
I am no mermaid  
I keep my head above the waves

We went down to the edge of the water  
You were afraid to go in  
You said there might be sharks out there in the ocean  
And I said I'm only going for a swim

I was living around in a circle  
I wasn't always in view  
You said we might get into red flag danger  
And I am alone when I'm not with you

But I am no mermaid  
I am no mermaid  
And I am no fisherman's slave  
I am no mermaid  
I am no mermaid  
I keep my head above the wave

_No Mermaid_- Sinead Lohan

-----

"Wait – what are you doing with scissors?"

"Would you stop being such a pain?! I'm just giving you a trim!" Elle said, the silver scissors a healthy snap before she brought them to the back of Lydia's head.

Lydia looked quite vulnerable in this situation, hunched over in the small chair, a white sheet covering her from the neck down. Her long hair hung lank, dripping wet. She looked miserable as Elle hovered around her like a bee, flicking to and fro.

"I don't need a trim!" Lydia protested causing Elle to snort.

"Lydie, when was the last time you had a hair cut?"

"Well, my mother used to cut it-"

"Exactly. The ends of your hair are a massacre no one should have to suffer looking at, especially that fox Remus."

"You did not just call him a 'fox'."

"Be quiet- I need to concentrate."

"My hair is fine."

"No, it isn't. Now stop moving so I can get a straight cut."

Lydia frowned, but remained silent as Elle moved about her, watching with some bitter sentimentality as her hair fell to the ground. Occasionally, Elle would stop and step back, staring intently at her new project and each time she would, Lydia would pray that she was done.

She never was.

Lydia hated getting fuddled with like this. She wasn't in control, and she didn't like that feeling. She felt like Elle was taking over her hair, and she didn't like it.

Never again.

Finally, after what seemed like ages, Elle backed away, this time not returning with scissors, but with her wand, casting a simple drying spell. Elle looked at Lydia for a second, stroking her chin, before breaking out in a grin.

"Lydie! You look fabulous!" she said, grabbing her by the shoulders and pushing her towards the mirror.

And she saw herself.

She looked different- much different.

And it wasn't just her hair; it was the whole manner of her face. It didn't so long now, not so pale. Her eyes stuck out more. You could actually see they were that certain blue gray. Her hair seemed darker. She supposed it was the special shampoo Morrie had given to her. The length was almost the same as before too, just cut more angular, making her hair look thicker.

She liked it.

And it was official- Elle was a genius… well, in some respects.

"Well? Do you like it?"

"Yes… I really do, Elle. Thank you."

Elle squealed and pulled Lydia into a hug, "Oh, I knew you would like it! You just had to trust me! Oh, Remus is going to be so impressed!"

"Wow, Elle- you really outdid yourself." It was Morrie, leaning against the bathroom's doorway, "And I see my shampoo worked."

"Doesn't she look great?!"

"She does look great… but, we are going to need an outfit to back it up." She said with a smirk.

"Oh! Yes!" Elle grabbed Lydia's hand and dragged her out into the main dormitory, "Come on, Lydie, we'll find you something spectacular!"

Morrie went over to Lydia's trunk and flipped in open, carelessly rummaging through it, "Lydia, this stuff is atrocious," she held up a very large looking skirt, "Oh, wait, this is your camping gear, right?"

"Be quiet, Morrie. I didn't ask for your opinion."

"And I wasn't giving it. It's a real fact that your clothes do absolutely nothing for you. Let's use some of mine. They should fit, don't you think, Elle?"

"Yeah, you two are about the same size."

"Well, then- I'm thinking something nice, but not too nice, still casual. A sweater maybe?" Morrie flung open her own trunk, shifting through the materials inside.

"Oh, yes… how about that blue sweater you have- the one with the grey argyle? That would look nice." Elle suggested.

"You're right… that and maybe a nice pair of jeans?"

"Sound's perfect."

"Okay," Morrie shifter through her wardrobe, pulling out the sought for items- a deep blue pair of flares, and a nice ocean sweater with a stitching of blue gray diamonds on the front.

"You have that blouse I gave you for Christmas last year right?" Elle said. Lydia nodded, going to the bottom of her trunk and pulling out a neatly folded sky blouse.

"That will good under the sweater with the v-neck and all," Morrie handed Lydia the clothes, "Now, don't ruin them. Those are my favorite pants."

"I won't."

"Well, go on then, and get changed."

Lydia nodded again, and turned to the bathroom. She quickly shut the door and locked it, stripping down to put on the new outfit. She wasn't so sure about the whole ensemble. These clothes were tighter than anything she had ever worn before, but all the worry seemed to drift away when she caught a glance at her reflection.

Wow.

She looked different, and not just different, but good- pretty even. The blue in the sweater brought out her eyes even more, and she no longer looked bony or lanky. Still, she had her high cheekbones, and frowning mouth, but there was something about them now that was almost intriguing. And though she would never have curves, this new outfit fit her perfectly. She smiled.

Maybe today wouldn't be so bad after all.

-----

Lydia stood in a circle of Ravenclaws as she waited for Remus to come down to the Entrance Hall. She felt pretty good about things, and no one seemed to have any complaints about her. And for once, she felt content with her appearance. She was no Lily Evans, or Emmaline Vance or even Elladora Edgecombe, but she thought she looked nice, and that's all that really should matter, isn't it?

"Looks like she stood you up, Moony," Sirius Black exclaimed, coming down the stairs beside his usual gang- Peter Pettigrew, James Potter, and Remus.

"Nah, I'm sure she's coming down," James said, pounding Remus on the back, who looked absolutely miserable at Sirius's last statement.

Morrie gave Lydia a little push, "Well, go on then."

Elle grabbed a strand of Lydia's hair and patted it down, then fiddling with her collar, "Now, don't talk his ear off with some boring Hogwarts: A History nonsense. Be sure to let him do the talking, and don't pick at your nails. You have a tendency to do that, and-"

"Elle, I think I've got it."

She shut her mouth and smiled, "Right, sorry… Just- good luck."

"Break a leg, dork," Morrie said.

"Thanks, for this."

"Hey, what are friends for?" said Elle.

"Annoying the hell out of you- now go get him!"

"Alright, I'm going… I'll see you later?"

"Later."

"Bye, Lydie!"

Morrie and Elle trotted away, heading out the huge carved doors to the Grounds, heading out to the town. Lydia sighed. She was on her own now…

"Remus!" she called to him. He was still on the stairs, huddled with his friends.

He looked up, "Lydia?"

Lydia walked over to them, "Hi."

Remus looked a bit taken back, "Wow," he gulped, "You look great."

She smiled, embarrassed, and looked down to her shoes, "Thanks."

"So, should we get going?"

"Oh, yeah, lets,"

Remus nodded and said farewell to his comrades, each with a gleaming smirk on their faces. The pair made their way to the door, and he held it open for her, falling in step with her as they walked down the trodden path to Hogsmeade.

"So…" Remus murmured, breaking the silence.

"Yes, so…"

"Have you read Hogwarts: A History?"

Lydia almost stopped walking at this question. She smiled a bit, "Why, yes I have."

-----

A/N- Yes- another short chapter I'm afraid, but I wanted to get this up quickly. Plus I sort of wanted to keep the date for one chapter, which will be the next chapter. Sorry for making you wait! It will be up, have no fear.

And I'd like to thank all my reviewers, and since I actually have some time, I'd like to give a shout out to those wonderful people who reviewed last chapter.

**risi**- Thanks so much for sticking with the story! Yes, I actually have someone who sticks with the story! Sorry… Voldemort, you say… I have no idea what you are talking about… … …

**An Anti-Sheep Cheese Muffin**- First off, I love your username, though I have no idea what it means or anything. It's just cool. And thanks so much for the review! Hehe… I'm such a loser…

About Lydia's new "look," I just want to say that this is the seventies, so I tried to stick with that fashion, and I hope it wasn't too much. I wanted to give off the impression that Lydia was always pretty; she just couldn't see it without a little nudge. So, it wasn't meant to be one of those extreme things that they always do in fan fictions about Ginny, where she walks in the next day with a lip ring and a tube top. It was just sort of a realization thing.

So, I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and I appreciate anyone who reviews!

And check out my other stories if you're interested. They're a bit different from this, I am afraid.

**PLEASE GIVE ME SOME LONG RAMBLY REVIEWS!**


	12. Wicked Little Town

**Heaven Sent**

Wicked Little Town

_You know, the sun is in your eyes  
And hurricanes and rains  
And black and cloudy skies. _

You're running up and down that hill.  
You turn it on and off at will.  
There's nothing here to thrill  
Or bring you down.  
And if you've got no other choice  
You know you can follow my voice  
Through the dark turns and noise  
Of this wicked little town.

Oh Lady, luck has led you here  
And they're so twisted up  
They'll twist you up. I fear.

The pious, hateful and devout,  
You're turning tricks til you're turned out,  
The wind so cold it burns,  
You're burning out and blowing round.  
And if you've got no other choice  
You know you can follow my voice  
Through the dark turns and noise  
Of this wicked little town.

The fates are vicious and they're cruel.  
You learn too late you've used two wishes like a fool

And then you're someone you are not,  
And Junction City ain't the spot,  
Remember Mrs. Lot  
And when she turned around.  
And if you've got no other choice  
You know you can follow my voice  
Through the dark turns and noise  
Of this wicked little town.

_Wicked Little Town_- Ben Jelen

-----

"I can not believe you've read Hogwarts: A History," Lydia said, as she pushed open the door of Honeyduke's, stepping inside. Remus followed close behind.

"And why is that?"

"Oh, I don't know."

"And why is that?"

"You just don't seem the type for a book like that…"

"And why is that?"

Lydia moved over to the table full with Honeyduke's infamous chocolate, stacked high in mounds of different shapes and sizes. She picked up a chocolate frog, looking it over, "Well, you're certainly smart, make no mistake. I just didn't think you were a person who goes to text book reading for fun."

"And why is that?"

"I don't know! … Are you trying to make me nervous?"

"And behold my success…" Remus gave a smug grin, receiving a mock scowl from Lydia.

"Cheeky…" she muttered through the smile she was strangling. He laughed, and then sobered.

"You know," he began, "to be perfectly honest, I only read Hogwarts: A History just last week."

"Really?"

"Yep… Morrie suggested it actually…"

"She did? Wait- when did you talk to Morrie? I thought you two didn't really know each other."

"Well, I was the one to approach her. I sort of needed help with something…" He flushed, rubbing the back of his neck.

"With what? Are you even in any classes with her?"

"No, I'm not… but I was seriously worried that we would have nothing to talk about today," he said sheepishly. Lydia stopped fiddling around with the Chocolate Frog in her hand and looked at him.

"You asked her what I was interested in so we would have something to talk about?"

"Yes…"

"And you went out and read Hogwarts: A History because of it?"

"Yeah…" he sighed, "I shouldn't have told you. You're not weirded out or anything, are you?"

Lydia smiled, "No, I'm not weirded out."

"Really?"

"Yes, really… actually, I'm a bit flattered."

He let out a breath of relief and grinned, turning red. Lydia beamed at him. It was nice, having someone think of her like that. No boy had ever liked her before, and she was a bit sore on the subject, but she could definitely get used to it.

"So tell me," Lydia said, "Did you actually like it?"

"What? Hogwarts: A History? Merlin, no!"

She laughed, "I didn't think so."

"And why is that?"

"Oh, stop it!" she blithely pleaded. He chuckled.

"But really, you've got to admit- it was a bit boring. I could barely read it without my mind wandering."

"That's because you have the attention span of a llama."

"What?" he laughed, "A llama?"

Lydia grinned, "Yes, a llama."

"Well, excuse me, you posh chicken."

"So, I'm a chicken now?"

"Yes, you are, you chicken."

"I'm posh too." She reminded him.

"Forgive me, yes, you are, you _posh_ chicken."

Lydia shrugged, "Well, it's better than being an inattentive llama."

He snorted, "Hey, I'm going to get this stuff rung up. Are you getting anything?"

Lydia looked down to see Remus's hand's full with snacks and treats of the worst kind, in sugar that is. She shook her head.

"No, I'm fine. Have a sweet tooth, hmm?"

"Unfortunately, yes. Are you sure? What about that?" he gestured to the chocolate frog in her hand. She looked down at before shaking her head again.

"No, I don't need to."

"I could get it for you, if you want?"

"No, it's all right, but thanks."

"Are you sure?"

She laughed lightly, "Yes, I'm sure. Just go get your things."

"Alright… I'll be back in a minute or so."

Lydia watched as he went up to the counter, greeted as a familiar by the cashier. Lydia guessed he had spent a good deal of time in here over the last few years. He immediately started up a conversation with the witch who was running the register as she rung up his purchases, laughing at something the woman had said.

She rather liked his laugh. It was bright, good natured like his pale blue eyes that seemed to reflect warmth like the plague. And no matter how lame it sounded- she definitely thought he was cute with his content face and his shaggy, light brown hair curling at the ends.

And he seemed to like her, which was a benefit. It wasn't hard to talk to him either, not after the ice had finally been broken. In fact, she found their conversations to be very entertaining. She was beginning to like him more and more by the second.

As soon as the cashier had handed him his bag of goods, he headed back over to Lydia, still smiling, "Do you want to go and get lunch?"

"Yeah, that sounds good to me."

Remus headed to the door and pushed it open, walking through and them passing it off to her, "To the Three Broomsticks, then?"

"Sure."

"So, is there a story behind that llama line?" He asked as they walked down the rough street. It was rather nice outside, a bit overcast, but that perfect autumn temperature surrounded them and that crisp taste of burning leaves and chimneys hung in the air.

Lydia nodded, "My mother used to say it to my father all the time."

"Really? Why?"

"My father's never been a focused reader. He has to read three books at once just to get through one."

"How does that work?"

"He reads a few pages and as soon as he gets bored with that train of reading, he switches books. He reads a bit from that until he gets bored again and then switches once more. He has a whole cycle."

"We're talking about the same person, right? Tall guy, runs a bookshop, rather intimidating, seems to keep his daughter on a tight leash-"

"Stop that," Lydia laughed softly, "My father's a very different person than most people see."

_Or at least he had been._

"I wasn't saying anything against him, just that he's a bit overprotective of some things."

"He just does it because he cares."

"Well, that's nice and all, but he scared me right off when I went looking for you the day before we were on the train." Remus muttered jokingly.

Lydia laughed, "What did he do?"

"Practically bit my head off with all sorts of accusatory questions," he replied seriously, "Don't worry, I told him there wasn't anything between us."

Lydia remained silent for a moment, "But there is now?"

When he didn't answer, Lydia's heart raced a little, and turned to look at him. He was looking straight ahead, blatantly avoiding her gaze. His face seemed etched in deep thought. She frowned. Had she said something wrong?

But suddenly she felt something grab her hand, and upon looking down, she saw Remus's hand grasping her own. She smiled, squeezing his hand gently. He returned the pinch, with a content grin donning his features. They continued to Three Broomsticks, hands locked.

-----

Just a small while later, Remus and Lydia could be found sitting side by side at a small table in the back of the Three Broomsticks, sipping butterbeer as they chatted about nonsense from the ridiculous transfiguration homework to the poor condition of books in the library. There was even a comment or two about Hogwarts: A History, which Lydia dared say, had become an inside joke.

They two were perfectly at ease, or at least they were, until the front door of the pub jingled open and in stepped James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew.

"McGonagall's work isn't too bad for me. I've got lots of help from James-" Remus stopped and groaned, "James, Sirius, and Peter… perfect."

Lydia looked up to see the trio headed over to their table, "They're coming over here," she said to Remus, who had cover his face with his hands, trying to be unseen. It obviously failed.

"Moony!" Sirius exclaimed, coming behind Remus and slapping him on the back, "We've been looking for you."

"You weren't trying to hide from us, now were you?" James asked complacently.

"GO- AWAY."

"That's no way to treat us, your dear friends. Isn't horrible Padfoot?"

"That it is. In fact, I'm very hurt. I cry at night about these things, you know?"

"It's true. I've heard him. It's tragic really."

Remus scowled, "Can't you see I'm sort of busy?" he hissed. Sirius and James both looked up and towards Lydia.

"Maybe we should-" Peter began to be promptly cut off.

"Well, hello Lydia. May I call you Lydia?" James said.

"Leave us alone, you two."

"Yes, Lydia, how are you?" Sirius cooed.

Lydia frowned. How she loathed Sirius Black. And she was quite sure it was mutual, having much to do with that potions accident in second year.

"I'm well, thank you," she said coldly, taking a sip from her drink.

"It's good to hear. Remus treating you well, I hope?"

"Like a perfect gentleman."

"Now, did you here that, Prongs? Our Moony is a gentleman!"

"Well, he certainly didn't get it from you…" James muttered.

"And where did he get it from, then?"

"Me, of course."

"You wish!"

"I quite gentlemanly, unlike you, you pompous pig!"

"I'm sure Lily Evans sees you in that way too."

Suddenly, Remus grabbed Lydia's hand again; gesturing to stay silent with a finger on his lips, and began to creep away as James and Sirius fought.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night!" Lydia heard Sirius shout just as her and Remus made it too the door, and escaping outside. He started to pull on her hand, breaking into a run. Together, they scurried down the crowded street, laughing at the absurd situation. They darted in and out of alleyways, not even to get away at this point, but just for the sake of it. Finally, out of breath, they stopped right in front of the Shrieking Shack.

When they stopped laughing, Remus smiled softly at her, taking her other hand too, "I'm sorry about that," he said sincerely, "They're a bit obnoxious at times, but they really are good guys. They just get a bit out of hand."

"Don't worry. I know what its like. My friends are the same way."

"I don't want you to think badly of me because of their stupidity, you know?"

"Remus, I would never think any less of you for something stupid like that."

"I know… I'm just paranoid." He muttered.

"Why are you so paranoid?"

"I don't know… it's just- I guess… I'm paranoid about messing this whole thing up…" said Remus, embarrassed. Lydia looked down at her feet.

"What? Like this date?" she said softly.

"Well, yes… I really, really like you, Lydia, and I really, really like hanging out with you."

"I like you too, Remus."

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"I guess I just wanted it to be perfect… and those idiots had to come and ruin it."

Lydia smiled, "Remus, it was perfect."

"It was?"

"Yes, I had a wonderful time with you today, and I'd like to do it again, seriously."

"Really?"

Lydia laughed, "Yes, really! You really are paranoid!"

"I know… it's my only fault."

"Only one?"

"Well, I'd like to think that…" he murmured, taking a step closer to that.

"I'm not so sure you have any faults," Lydia whispered, looking up at his pale blue eyes.

"Not all of us are perfect, not like you."

"I'm not perfect."

"I'm not so sure about that statement."

And then his lips were on hers, stealing a kiss, and she returned it. It didn't last long though; it was short and sweet, but enjoyable all the same. As Remus pulled back, he rested his forehead on Lydia's.

"Maybe we should do this again next Hogsmeade weekend," he said lowly.

"Sounds good to me."

-----

A/N- Ugh… I think this is possibly the fluffiest thing I have ever written. Someone shoot me, seeing as I am most defiantly not a LydiaRemus shipper… I had a really hard time writing this chapter.

Have no fear, I'm not tricking you! I swear it's a Snape/OC story, don't worry! And please don't be mad Snape isn't in this. He's coming back next chapter, when questions will be answered.

So, please review and tell me anything you want, like if you hate it or love it or whatever. I love random comments and constructive criticism, so yeah…

By the way, I just put up a new one-shot fic called PERFECT DISGUISES. I'm actually quite proud of it, so maybe people could check it out…

And now, I'd like to thank all my reviewers, and specifically those who reviewed last chapter… or the one person who reviewed last chapter…

Arano Honou- I love that song! Hehe… I'm such a sap. Can I have my skittles?

And that's about it all… um… tell me what you think, so…

GIVE ME SOME NICE LONG RAMBLY REVIEWS!


	13. Try Just a Little Bit Harder

**Heaven Sent**

Try (Just A Little Bit Harder)

_Try, try, try just a little bit harder  
So I can love, love, love him, I tell myself  
'cause I'm gonna try, oh yeah, just a little bit harder  
So I won't lose, lose, lose him to nobody else, yeah.  
Hey, I don't care how long it's gonna take ya  
But if it's a dream I don't want no I don't really want it  
Yeah if it's a dream I don't want nobody to wake me. _

Yeah I'm gonna try, oh yeah, just a little bit harder  
So I can give, give, give, give him every bit of my soul.  
I'm gonna try, oh yeah, just a little bit harder  
So I can show, show, show him love with no control, yeah.  
Hey! I don't care how long it's gonna take ya  
But if it's a dream I don't want  
No I don't really want it  
Yeah if it's a dream I don't want nobody to wake me.  
Hey, dig it! yeah! yeah yeah yeah!  
Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right.

Try oh yeah, hey, try oh yeah, lord, lord, lord,  
Try oh yeah, try oh yeah, lord, lord, lord,  
Try oh yeah yeah, try, whoa, try oh yeah, lord, lord, lord,  
Push, work, push, work, oh yeah, try, oh yeah hey!  
Try oh yeah, hey try oh yeah,  
Try lord, try, try, you ain't trying man  
You're not trying out man, come up with it.  
Come on, that's a wanker that listens to words, man.  
Hey you gotta work all night  
Hey little girl, gotta push on  
You gotta need  
Work a little more, hey, try a little more,  
Need a little more  
Yeah, work on, push on, move on, move on,  
You gotta work for it, you gotta work on it  
Push on, need on, move on,  
Move on, hey hey hey.

Work it daddy,  
Work it daddy,  
Come on, work it daddy, oh  
Yeah, yeah, you better try, try, try, try a little more  
You ain't never gonna get any man if that's the sort of thing you can do.  
Shit, there's lot more talent around than that man.  
Try, try, try, try try try,  
You've gotta try, try, try, try,  
Try, try, try, try, try, try...  
You gotta try, try, try, try...  
Lord, try, try, try, try,  
Lord, try, try, try, try,  
Hey, try, try, try, try,

Hey, try oh yeah, try oh yeah, lord, lord, lord  
Try oh yeah, hey, try whoa, try oh yeah  
Try oh yeah, lord, lord, lord, try oh yeah  
Try oh yeah, hey, hey, hey,  
Try oh yeah, try oh yeah,  
Lord, lord, lord, oh lord.

And don't you forget!

_Try (Just a Little Bit Harder)- _Janis Joplin

-----

Lydia entered an empty dormitory a little after four, and went straight to her school books, determined to get her homework done. Kicking off her shoes, she threw her messenger bag over her shoulder and trucked down to the Common Room.

The dim room was stuffed with various students, their noses inside their books, scattered at many of the desks. Luckily, Lydia caught sight of an empty table, and hurried over, claiming it with the mountain of books and parchment she stacked on it. She decided to jump right into her potions essay on the blood replenishing potions they would be making on Monday.

As soon as she opened the first book, she was gone. Her attention was focused fully on the task at hand. It wasn't until someone grabbed her from behind, pulling her into a tight hug, that she was distracted.

"I'm so proud of you!"

Elle…

"Elle! You scared the wits out of me!" Lydia exclaimed, stepping back from the blonde, who giggled. Now, Lydia could see Morrie behind her.

"Elle, you psycho," Morrie muttered before coming over to Lydia and pinching hard on the arm with a smirk, "Who would think you of all people would be the hottest topic of gossip?"

"What?"

"It's true," Elle said, "News of your little escapade is all over the school. You and Remus are officially the new 'IT' couple!"

Lydia was confused, "Wait- Remus and I just went out today for the first time. How could-"

"Come on, Lydia, you know how fast this kind of shit travels through the whole student population."

"And through some teachers too," Elle added.

"You're kidding."

"No, we're not. In fact, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew supposedly caught you two in a scandalous lip lock." Elle squealed.

"Scandalous lip lock?" Lydia said in disbelief, "We only kissed once, and it was far from anything scandalous."

"You actually kissed him? Morrie asked, receiving a nod from Lydia, "Wow… you're bolder than I thought."

"I am not bold! He kissed me. I just responded."

"But did you like it?"

"Yes, it was nice."

"Oh my God! You two are so destined to be together! I know! I'll check him. DO you know his sign?" Elle exclaimed, clapping her hands together. She always used hand gestures when she got worked up.

"His sign?"

"Like his astrological sign? Come on, Lydie…" she sighed.

"And why would I know that?"

"Oh, really, every good girlfriend knows her boyfriend's sign!"

"Only if they are a stalker! And he is not my boyfriend!"

"But he will be…" Morrie put in.

Lydia threw her hands up in the air and groaned, "You know what? I have a lot of homework to get done, and I really don't have time for you people's trivialities. Therefore, I am going to the library and if either of you bother me, I will beat you to death with my potions book!"

She quickly dumped all her supplies into her messenger bag, and throwing it on her shoulder. With one last exasperated blow of air, she stomped out of the Common Room, a dark scowl on her face.

Elle, Morrie and most of the common room watched her go with wide eyes. Her prominent click of the entrance hole led to a very awkward silence.

"Eh… Lydia's not feeling to well… it's just that time of the year, you know. Awful headaches…" Morrie murmured as an excuse for the outburst. Everyone watched her a moment, before agreeing that was good enough for them and turned back to their work.

"Talk about bitter…" Morrie whispered to Elle.

"I know… hey… are we really trivial?"

"No, I think we're just obnoxious."

"Oh, okay."

-----

Lydia huffed down to the library, noticing with a scowl all the people who were making a point to look at her. This was ridiculous. She goes at with a boy once, and suddenly her name is all over the school. What if they were saying bad things about her- things that weren't true? She hated it when people talked behind her back.

She was glad to make it to that excluded part of the library, and quickly dumped her things down on the table, only to realize someone else's belonging were there is well.

"I thought you weren't coming today."

Lydia turned around to see Snape, staring at her. He was half hidden in the shadows, his spidery fingers gripping a book by his hips.

"Oh… I was going to do homework actually." She replied softly, looking apologetic. Snape looked at her blankly.

"Fine." He sat down at the table, looking anywhere but her, lifting open the book in his hands, and skimming through it. Lydia looked around awkwardly for a second, before sitting down also, and pulling out her own school books.

And it happened again. She couldn't concentrate with him there. Try as hard as she might, her gaze kept trailing from the text in front of her to the top of Snape's head. She studied him from this odd angle. His hair curtained his shallow face, creating rises and climbs of shadows across the stretched skin, and his nose seemed to hook more than ever.

"Severus?"

Snape looked up, somewhat puzzled, "Yes?"

"Do you know Lucius Malfoy?" she asked hesitantly, and for some reason, she prayed that he would say no.

He nodded.

"Yes, I do," he said simply, looking back down to his book. Lydia picked at her thumb nail, pausing for a moment.

"Eh, Severus?" He looked up again, "Are you researching for him?"

He stared at her wearily, "Yes, I am."

"Why?"

"He asked me to."

"But why does he-"

"Lydia, I owe a lot to Lucius Malfoy," he started. Lydia was taken back at the use of her name so directly, "I don't ask questions."

Lydia picked her nails even more, "But do you know what's it for?"

Snape sighed, "It's for a good cause, Lydia. Trust me."

Lydia thought for a moment. Lucius Malfoy had been nothing but kind to her and he had obviously done the same for Snape. The purse he had given her still jingled with a fair amount of change. Maybe she owed it to him to help as well. Plus, she had to admit she liked a good challenge.

"I trust you."

-----

No new developments had yet to be made in the two's research until the next Monday, when Odin came spluttering into the Great Hall, a large package wrapped in brown paper tied to his claws. The poor owl dropped down to the Ravenclaw table, heading immediately for a slice of Lydia's toast. It was given willingly as soon as Lydia had taken the box off his feet and broke open the envelope on the top.

_Dear Lydia,_

_I've rounded up the sources you need. Hopefully, it's not too late._

- _Father_

_P.S. Keep working on the DADA grade._

Lydia shook her head at the last bit, stuffing the note deep inside her robe pocket and placed the pocket beneath her seat. With good fortune, this might just be the key to their research.

-----

Lydia made sure to hurry to the library that afternoon, not stopping until she reached the table. Carefully, she took the brown package from her bag and placed it neatly on the table, tearing the paper off. Hastily, the package was opened by anxious fingers, and she pulled out a thick book, running her fingers gently along the title- Gifford Ollerton. 

"What's that?" It was Snape. She easily could recognize his voice without turning around.

"Just what we need for this project."

Snape came close behind her, looking at the book over her shoulder. He was closer than he had ever been to her before, and she could just make out that brisk sent of cauldron fire imprinted on his robes, "Gifford Ollerton," he read, "The Giant slayer?"

Lydia smiled proudly, "It's his journal."

"Where did you find it?"

"My father went through a couple of people in knows up north to find it. He has some connections in the literary world."

Snape eye's widened, a greedy look grazing his black orbs, "And this will tell us all the locations we need for the map?"

"I should hope so, but it only documents about fifty years. It will still give us a good lead."

This is perfect," Snape murmured, but Lydia gave a bit of a nervous smile, "What? Certainly there is no catch?"

"Actually," Lydia looked uncomfortable, "there is a catch…"

"What? Is it some strange dark ritual, because I'm willing to do that."

Lydia was surprised, "Really?"

"I was just saying…"

"No, it's not a blood ritual or anything."

"Then what?" Snape asked, impatiently.

"It's in Bulgarian."

"What?"

"The book- it's written in all Bulgarian."

"And you know Bulgarian?" Snape hissed.

"No, I'm afraid I don't."

"How long is this thing?" Snape snatched the book out of her hands and flipped through, "You mean we have to translate eight hundred and seventy six pages of straight Bulgarian?"

"Well… it's not exactly straight."

"What do you mean now?"

"You know how language has developed over the years, right? Well, the Bulgarian written in this is similar to the English version of Elizabethan pros."

"So we have to translate eight hundred and seventy six pages of Old Bulgarian similar to Elizabethan pros?"

"Yes."

"And how do you presume we do that?" Snape scowled, crossing his arms and looking very much like a teacher.

Lydia suddenly dug her hands into the box again, pulling out a small paperback, "He sent a Bulgarian to English dictionary." Lydia suggested lamely.

"A dictionary? This is going to take a long time…"

"We might as well get started then."

Severus groaned, but still pulled out one of the chairs at the table, and gestured for Lydia to sit, "After you."

Lydia took the seat primly, and he sat beside her, "Thank you," she murmured.

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all…

-----

A/N- How's that? Sorry about getting it out a little later than usual, but my festival play just started up at school, and I've been busy with auditions and such. Hopefully, I'll get a relatively good part…

I hope some questions were answered in this chapter. I can't really let that much on, you know?

And now, I'd like to thank all my wonderful reviewers because you guys are great! Especially for last chapter-

risi- You know what? You're just great for sticking with my story. And to tell you the truth, I was so worried about that fluffiness. I read it over and was utterly disgusted with myself. I loathe fluff. I'm the type of girl who hates Romeo and Juliet but will go right for Macbeth, which reflects a lot about my writing…

Casey's-Girl895- Thanks so much for review, and for the great compliment. I believe I'm blushing…

An Anti-Sheep Cheese Muffin- What can I say? I love your reviews, even if I don't get them at all. Perhaps my mind is too clouded… and I am so sorry about no Snape. I am such a criminal about putting Snape in…

Krirobe- I am so glad you like Lydia, because I have this utter paranoia of turning Lydia into a Mary Sue. IT drives me insane. And don't worry, I won't hurt Remus, I don't have the heart too… well, he might be a bit hurt actually… thanks so much for the review!

Well, that's about it.

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GIVE ME SOME LONG RAMBLY REVIEWS!**


	14. Long Way Down

**Heaven Sent**

Long Way Down

_I was dead sleeping in your bed  
Floated up from the ground and looked down  
Then finally I could see completely  
Heard the angels' song_

_I know what you are  
I could never tell  
They sang what you are_

_This far away, you're a miniature to me  
Are you sorry you almost disappeared  
Now I know what you are  
I could never tell  
They sang what you are_

_Now the notes are fading  
and everything is turned around  
And I can't help but think it  
Its a long way down  
And everything is changing  
and everything is turned around  
And I can't help but thinking  
its a long way down_

_Now I know what you are  
I could never tell  
They sang what you are_

_Long Way Down- _Guster

-----

Lydia groaned, rubbing her eyes. The library, for being a place where one was supposed to read and study, was poorly lit and now her eyes were starting to hurt. Snape sat beside her at the worn table, the trusty Bulgarian to English dictionary flung open between them. It was a Saturday, a week from the last Hogsmeade Weekend, and the two had been trying to decipher the mystery of Gifford Ollerton's journal for hours. They had long missed lunch and the hour was fast approaching dinner.

And how much had they gotten done? Three pages- three pages out of eight hundred and seventy six. Yes, this was going to take forever…

Snape threw his quill down and leaned back in his chair, "This is ridiculous."

"No, it isn't. It's just time consuming," Lydia reasoned.

"Time consuming? I've been looking for the meaning of the same word for over half an hour! The whole project is a little more than time consuming."

"Well, it's not all going to be in the dictionary…"

"Then what?"

"Just figure out the words around it and try to work through it that way," she suggested.

"Really that is a great idea, except for when I've already done that," he said bitterly, his brow almost meeting his eyes.

"Being unpleasant isn't going to get us anywhere," said Lydia, frowning.

"And what do you suggest I do?"

"Perhaps you could skip that line and go back to it later. Then, perhaps, you could stop your abhorrent growling. It's rather distracting." Lydia made it a point to set her head back to her book and started scribbling blatantly on her scrap piece of parchment. Determined not to look back at him, she heard him let out a breath, but soon enough heard the scratching of another quill against the paper. She smiled.

They continued to work quietly with the occasional few words passing between them to discuss a new finding. There weren't many of those though. It was mainly Lydia who spoke, but it was Snape who broke the silence about a half an hour later.

"Lydia," he whispered. She looked up from her work expecting a new bit of information, however simple. Anything was needed at this point.

"Yes?"

"It means path."

"What means path?"

"The word I couldn't translate earlier. I went back to it. It means path."

"Oh, good," she said, absentmindedly, scribbling another note from the page she had down.

"I apologize if I distracted you."

"No really, it's fine," she said. Snape looked at her as if she was sprouting another three legs, "What?"

"How can you possibly be so patient about this whole thing?"

Lydia shrugged, and began to pick at her nails, "I don't know… I wasn't aware that I was," she supplied uncomfortably, but Snape didn't say anything more. He gave a mutter of some sort, and went back to the page he was working on.

-----

Lydia staggered into the dormitory around eighty thirty, yawning and rubbing the life out of her eyes. Morrie and Elle were pouring over some bad romance novel on the floor, and Emmaline Vance, who was seldom to be found with in the dormitory because of her pre-Madonna issues, was brushing her long black hair out in front of a small floating mirror.

"Where the hell have you been?" Morrie said, looking up from her book.

Lydia sighed, "The library."

"Why the bloody hell were you in the library all day?"

"Research with Severus," she answered simply, starting to walk off towards the bathroom, but Morrie had jumped up and caught her blouse in her hand.

"Whoa, whoa- hold on here? Severus as in Severus Snape?"

"Yes."

Elle got off her perch and walked over, her head titled curiously, "You were with Snape?"

"Did you not hear me the first time? Yes, I was with Snape," Lydia said, exasperated.

"You were alone with him?"

"Yes."

Elle looked appalled, "But Lydie, what about Remus?"

"What about him?"

"Are you cheating on him?"

"What?! Are you people insane!" Lydia exclaimed, "Number one- I am not going out with Remus, number two- Severus and I were in the library researching, and I for one have no intentions of getting involved with him in that sense!"

"You were alone with him," Emmaline Vance pointed out from her position on the bed, running the brush through her waving black hair.

"That doesn't mean anything!" Lydia said, worked up. Emmaline made a tsking noise.

"How wrong you are…" she shook her head, "Any girl alone with a guy these days means something. If this gets around the school…"

"I've been meeting with Severus for over a month! What makes you think people haven't noticed?!"

"A month?" Elle looked as though she was about to faint.

"You mean to tell us that you've been hanging around with the weirdest kid in school for a whole bloody month?" Morrie said.

"Wow, I knew there was something wrong about you, but this-"

"Shut up, Emmaline! Shut up, everybody! I don't care what you think!"

"We're just trying to help-" Elle began.

"If I wanted your opinions, I would hex it out of you!" Lydia shouted, finally reaching her breaking point. She flung the book she was carrying on the ground, and stormed to the bathroom, making sure to slam the door shut.

Once inside the small room, she quickly locked the door just as someone started fiddling with the knob. There was knocking, "Lydie, come on, open up…" she heard Elle's voice through the wood of the door.

"Go to Hell!" she yelled back, smacking the toilet seat down and sitting upon it, her arms folded and a scowl on her face.

There was no more knocking.

Lydia couldn't believe them. She couldn't understand why they would care so much, why they acted like she was so odd. And all because she was hanging out with Severus Snape. And maybe they didn't like him, but they couldn't dictate to her who she was going to hang around with. Screw them, all of them.

-----

Later that night, Lydia had been sure to see that everyone in the dormitory was asleep, before she crawled out of the bathroom and sunk into bed. She had also been sure to wake up before all of them, so she would not have to deal with the situation.

It was true. After much contemplation on the now familiar toilet seat, she decided she had overreacted over the whole thing. She would apologize for throwing such a hissy fit, but for now, she was too tired to do anything but get down to breakfast and have a cup of hot tea.

The Great Hall was fairly empty when she arrived, a few students scattered about. Well, it was early and a Sunday. Lydia quickly found her seat at the end of the Ravenclaw table and poured herself that desired steaming cup of tea, adding a bit of milk to soften the drink. As she brought her cup to her lips, she caught sight of Severus entering the Hall, a book in hand.

He must have seen her too, for their eyes met, and he crossed- no, prowled over to her table. In many ways, he was the King of Cats, reminding her greatly of someone to portray Tybalt.

He stopped in front of her, the table blocking the small space between them, "Can you work today?"

Lydia put her cup down, "I've acquired quite the backload of homework." She murmured.

"I want to get this done."

"It's going to take a long time, you realize."

"I know that," he hissed, "But I want it done as soon as possible, but you continue to waste time with your silly escapades."

"Are you talking about last weekend?"

"What else would I be talking about?" He was glaring now, a characteristic she had grown to become familiar with.

"Forgive me, but it was a Hogsmeade weekend."

"You didn't see me trolloping off to town, did you?"

Lydia's mouth dropped, "Trolloping? I was trolloping, was I? If you call a simple trip to the local town trolloping-"

"A simple trip to the local down with Lupin," Severus growled, looking more and more unpleasant by the moment.

"What does Remus have to do with anything?"

"We could have been working, but instead you feel that your little boyfriend is more important than this project."

"What is it with people thinking he is my boyfriend?" Lydia sighed, and pinching the bridge of her nose, "Look, I'm sorry, but you can't expect me to drop everything for this one project. I mean, it's not really even that important-"

"Malfoy wants it done."

"I'm aware of that, but-"

"He wants it done by the New Year."

Lydia was taken back. The New Year? That was in only two months. He wanted it done in two months? That was mad.

"You're kidding."

"No, I'm not. He needs it by New Year's."

"Wants it or needs it?"

"Wants, but needs it by Febuary at the latest."

Lydia took a breath, "How important is this? Really?"

Severus looked at her for a moment, thinking, "Extremely important," he whispered, "He wanted you to help me specifically."

Lydia nodded. So, it was important. She couldn't just let it lie now. Looking down at her tea, she could see the reflection of the ceiling in the liquid.

"Can I finish my breakfast?" she asked.

Severus nodded, "I'll meet you at our table in ten minutes." And with that, he turned, stalking right back out of the Great Hall, just in the way he arrived.

Lydia gulped. Suddenly, things just got a bit more stressful.

-----

A/N- Sorry about this being short, but I'm going away for about two weeks on Friday and I'll have no means to get another chapter out. So sorry about that! Have no fear. I will be back to updating at the start of the New Year, so Merry Christmas everybody! And Happy Hanukkah too!

I'd like to thank everybody who reviewed! I would address people, but I really should be packing and have to get this up as soon as possible…

**SO PLEASE, I BEG OF YOU, PLEASE GIVE ME SOME LONG RAMBLY REVIEWS!**


	15. Time Stands Still

**Heaven Sent**

Time Stands Still

_Him and her  
Life is turned  
The day I knew you would leave  
I can barely breath  
Can you hear me scream? _

Thrown in all directions  
You epitome of perfection  
She's lost her will  
(She's lost her will)  
Time is standing still

He walks her home  
Now he walks alone  
The days they turn into years  
The eyes they drown in tears  
Can you hear me scream?

Thrown in all directions  
You epitome of perfection  
She's lost her will  
(She's lost her will)  
Time is standing still

The way we are  
The way we were  
(It's just a shadow of what's wrong)  
The time with you  
The time is stirred  
(I love you for so long)  
The hearts they turn  
They turn away  
(She says to go, please don't you cry)  
Love lost was found  
Night turns to day

Thrown in all directions  
You epitome of perfection  
She's lost her will  
Time is standing still

Thrown in all directions  
You epitome of perfection  
She's lost her will  
(She's lost her will)  
Time is standing still

Time is standing still

_-Times Stands Still_- The All American Rejects

-----

It was the Tuesday before Halloween and Lydia had finally found some free time to have the meeting that Remus had practically been begging for. It wasn't actually that hard to find a spare moment, not since her meltdown on Sunday. She had not, like she promised herself she would, apologized to Morrie and Elle, seeing as they were doing just fine without her. It appeared that the lovely Emmaline Vance was doing a great job of replacing her. Not that Lydia really minded. It was just... never mind.

Her only real commitment was Severus at this point, and since he had excused himself to work with Professor Cluny tonight, Lydia now had a block of time just for her and Remus. This was something that had not happened since the last Hogsmeade weekend. And so what if she told Severus she would be working on the translation? Lydia needed some time for herself, right?

Somehow, she still felt a bit guilty. Hopefully, he wouldn't find out.

But that couldn't matter now. She was waiting nervously in the Great Hall for Remus to come down. For all the ease she had felt with him, it did nothing to catch the butterflies in her stomach just before he arrived.

Without the aid of Morrie and Elle, Lydia had to put a great effort in her choice of wardrobe and she was still unsure. She had picked out a classic cut blouse colored in deep blue and a pair of jeans. Her dark hair she left in a loose French braid, stray strands framing her high cheeks.

She stood patiently, her frail hands clasped behind her back, looking for some sigh of the shaggy haired boy she had grown to fancy. It seemed hours for him to descend those stairs, but to the clock it took but only five minutes. She smiled at him as he trotted down.

"Hey," he greeted her with a grin, coming to stand before her. He hands were burrowed deep within his trouser pockets and a crimson sweater that he wore reached his neck.

"Hello," Lydia said, still picking a bit at her nails.

"You look nice," he commented, holding his hand out. She smiled uneasily.

"Thanks," she murmured, fitting her palm in his. He started walking down the staircase right of the Grand, where Lydia had only been once or twice. She was certain it lead to the Hufflepuff Common Room. She trailed behind him, "Listen, I'm sorry about being so busy lately. I know it can be hard to fit any time in between us, but-"

"Lydia," Remus cut her off good-naturedly, "Don't worry about it. I completely understand."

Lydia smiled again, all of her previous anxiety seeming to depart, "So where are we going?"

"Someplace where no one will find reason to report some 'very scandalous kissing.'"

Lydia groaned, "That was awful. Do you know the time Morrie and Elle gave me?"

"Don't worry about it. James and Sirius just don't- think sometimes…" he said, as they reached the bottom landing and started walking down the dim corridor. Remus had a set look in his eyes.

"So, are you going to tell me what you have planned?"

Remus scoffed, "No, it's a secret."

A secret? She liked that idea…

Remus continued to lead her own, determined, as they spoke in simple talk, relating to their last week or two. He told of the recent going-ons in his knit of friends including the latest attempt of James to woo Lily Evans. Lydia thought of Elle at this, but did nothing to voice it.

When Remus inquired about how her own affairs were going, she didn't have much to talk about. She didn't really feel like talking about the whole Elle/Morrie situation (she doubted Remus would understand anyway) and Severus she had deemed as a bad subject. So, she just mingled her and there with the topic of their latest DADA practical test- one she had not done so well on.

Remus was just explaining the correct way to defend yourself against a full winged harpy, (Lydia could tell you easily how to do it in theory, but with actual curses and hexes, she was a mess) when the corridor ended with a large painting depicting a bowl of fruit.

Remus finally let go of her hand, and she had to say she was happy for it. (His hand was getting sweaty and unpleasant to hold.)

"Here we are," Remus said, throwing up his arms to display the painting. Lydia's expression was puzzled. This was the big thing (date, you could say)? She looked around for any sign of a door or exit that he might actually be planning to visit, but there was nothing.

Carefully, he moved forward and put his hand to the large pear in the painting, scratching it- no- tickling it? The pear jerked and transformed into a handle, which Remus took and pull towards him. The painting moved away from the wall, showing a large opening in the wall. Lydia came closer; peering in to catch sight of what must have been hundreds of house elves scurrying about great, roaring fires and clanging pots and pans.

"The kitchens," Lydia murmured, looking back to Remus. His expression was set in one of the good natured grins she was beginning to grow quite fond of.

"That's right," he said, stepping through the cavity. Lydia followed, bewildered by the masses of elves hurrying around. The picture lurched behind them and snapped shut. She had barely taken in a breath before a house elf wearing a fairly stained tea cozy approached them hastily.

"Mister Remus!" it squeaked. Lydia guessed it was a boy by the more than average hair breeding in his ears, "Tibby was not expecting you, sirs."

Okay, maybe she was wrong…

"Is it a bad time?"

"Oh, no, Mister Remus! Please do not go! Tibby is sorry for making Mister Remus feel unwelcome!" The house elf cried, grabbing the nearest frying pan and proceeding to hit her head, "Bad Tibby! Bad, bad Tibby!"

Lydia's eyes widened, looking frantically to Remus, who quickly went to grab the frying pan from the creature, "No, Tibby, it's all right! You don't have to do that!"

"Tibby must be punished!" she insisted, jumping back from Remus and slamming the frying pan down on her head again.

"No, Tibby! Stop that, I need your help!" This grabbed the house elf's attention, which suddenly dropped her torture utensil and hopped into a stiff, military-like position.

"Tibby is ready to serve, Mister Remus," the creature barked. Remus was relieved.

"Tibby, this is my good friend Lydia," Remus said, gesturing to the somewhat frazzled girl beside him. Tibby smiled and dropped before Lydia in a bow.

"It is Tibby's pleasure to finally meet Mister Remus's object of affection."

Lydia choked, coughing. Object of affection? Alright, so she was taken a little off guard by that comment. Remus smiled lamely, rubbing the back of his neck. Lydia finally came over her fit, and straightened, "It's nice to meet you also," she said uncomfortably.

"You are right, Mister Remus! Mistress Lydia is very, very pretty!" Tibby exclaimed.

Lydia's mouth dropped just a bit. Okay, so she was taken off guard again. What the crap had Remus been telling this house elf? Remus looked even scratchier, smiling again nervously, before fading into a mournful look.

"Thank you?"

"Look, Tibby," Remus said, taking charge, "Lydia and I were hoping to get a bite to eat?"

"Oh, yes, of course! Right this way, Mister Remus and Mistress Lydia!" the house elf said, making towards a small table by the huge brick fireplace, "Please, please, take your seats." Remus pulled out on of the simple chairs, Lydia following his action across from him. As soon as they were seated, Tibby stood straight and pulled a small pad of paper from somewhere in her tea cozy dress, "What can Tibby get you folks tonight for drinks?"

"Pumpkin juice," Remus said promptly.

"Yes, one pumpkin juice, very good," Tibby scratched something down on the pad, "And you Mistress Lydia?"

"Eh… water?"

"And one water for the lady, very good! Now, what will Mister Remus and Mistress Lydia be having for munchies?"

Lydia was still a tad bewildered by the house elf, and looked to Remus to order first, "Do you have any nachos?"

Nachos? Eh… what was she going to ask for now?

"Of course! Tibby will get some for Mister Remus right away!" Before leaving the house elf turned to Lydia.

"Um…" Lydia picked at her thumbnail, "Perhaps a salad?"

"Oh, yes, good choice," she scribbled it down on the pad, "Now what kind of salad- would that be the mixed green, the Caesar, wilted spinach, chicken, or the niswa?"

Lydia's expression was in dilemma, "I guess… the mixed green."

"Very good! Now what will you have for your dressing- honey mustard, ranch, Thousand Island, Italian, poppy seed or French?"

Lydia looked to Remus, "I don't know… French."

"Very good, very good! Now would that be the Northern French or Southern French because the Southern has a certain tang to it." Tibby looked at her expectantly.

"Southern?"

"Very good! Now, for your soup!"

"Soup?" Lydia asked.

"Yes, of course! We can't let Mistress Lydia go without soup! Salad does nothing to fatten up too skinny, lanky Mistress Lydia."

"Oh…" she said, horrified. Remus smiled sheepishly again.

"Now would that be the pilla, the gumbo, the gazpacho, the tomato, or Tibby's personal favorite, the alphabet?"

"Alphabet?" Lydia said lamely.

"Very good! Very good! Bowl or cup?"

"Cup, I suppose…"

"Very, very good! And now for the pasta!"

Lydia swallowed, "Pasta?"

"Yes, yes of course! Tibby and Mister Remus are trying to put some meat on Mistress Lydia's pointy bones!" Tibby clapped gaily.

This was too much. Lydia shot a displeased look at Remus, who just shrugged it off. This made Lydia frown even more.

"Where was Tibby?" said the house elf, scratching her chin, "Oh, yes! Pasta! Now would that be- tortellini, vermicelli, ravioli, cappellini, mostacholi, manichotti, rigatoni, fetachini?" The house elf took a deep breath, "Metzalunna, agnoletti, cascarrechia, fedelini, faralle, bigoletti, pansotti, buchantini?" Another breath, "Calzeti, linguini, callenoi, umbrichella, taglioni, fusil, and papdeli," Breath, "Pomadore, marinare, Bolognese, primavera, gnocchi, or spaghetti?"

Lydia's mouth was open, "I don't really think I need pasta."

Tibby looked miffed, and pouted, "Fine, if that's the way Mistress Lydia wants it… Your meals should be arriving shortly." The house elf turned around and stormed off, not looking entirely happy.

Lydia slouched in her chair, not entirely happy herself after that ordeal.

"Tibby's really great. She's been helping me out down here for years." Remus said pleasantly. Lydia pursed her lips together.

"Very nice," she said.

"Yeah, she's been real helpful to all of my friends when they come down here, with dates and such, you know."

Oh, so this was just another hot spot to take a date?

"Really?" she said noncommittally, turning her head to the fireplace.

"Yeah, Sirius takes Elle here all the time in fact, and I came here once or twice with Emmaline. Tibby always has been the first to come to aid."

Lydia's mind stopped for a second there. Emmaline?

"Do you mean Emmaline Vance?" she said darkly. This made Remus finally realize how much he had said, and instantly his amused nature failed.

He gulped, "Yes."

Lydia's jaw clenched, "Hmm…" That was all she could get out. Inside, she was seething, her blood boiling. Not only had that vile harpy replaced her with Morrie and Elle, she had also done the good job of taking Remus around the block. What was this?

"Oh, look, her comes Tibby with the food," Remus pointed out, looking much relieved for the change of subject. The house elf waltzed over, holding a tray.

"One pumpkin juice, and nachos," she said, dropping the items in front of Remus, "And one water, and spaghetti."

Lydia looked at the plate as the house elf put it down in front of her, "Excuse me, I didn't ask for spaghetti."

Tibby put her arms in front of her in coy surprise, "Tibby swears you said spaghetti."

"No, no, I believe I asked for a salad," Lydia said, trying as hard as she could not to snap.

"Mistress Lydia says 'I wants the spaghetti,' and Tibby gets it. Mistress Lydia wants spaghetti."

"No, I assure you, I did not." She was tense now. This stupid little house elf was getting on her nerves.

"It really doesn't matter. Why don't you eat the spaghetti instead, Lydia? It won't hurt, will it?"

That was it.

"No, of course not," she hissed, "Why shouldn't I just settle and eat the meal I don't even like much less want when the meal I originally asked for was a hassle just to order?"

"Lydia-"

"No, it's fine. I'll just eat the damn spaghetti, but rest assure, I'm taking it to go." She stood up quickly, pushing the chair she had sat in over and grabbing the plate of spaghetti in front of her. She sent Remus one last dark look before tromping out of the kitchens, and up the stairs to the Entrance Hall. The first trash can she saw, she slammed the pasta into, turning and heading up another flight of stairs.

It was still early, and she could get some of the translation done, no problem.

-----

A/N- Yeah, I'm back! I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year!

This chapter twisted completely from where I wanted it to go, but Lydia decided to snap so. And it's not just Lydia being overdramatic everyone. I have reasoning for the recents snaps, have no fear. And no! She is NOT pregnant!

And just about all the food in this chapter is spelt wrong. That whole ordering bit was inspired by the show With Relish. I was actually in it last October, and I did play the annoying waitress. The list of pasta is really a show number called the Pasta Rap (very orginal) and is a lot longer. Yes, I did rap pasta- me, the whitest girl this side of the pond. Pretty sad I tell you.

I'd like to thank all my fabulous reviewers! You guys are great and I don't care what anyone says about you! No, I'm just kidding, but you are awesome. I literaaly thrive off reviews and they are my number one motivation, so maybe more reviewers means more updates…

risi- Yeah, this about the point in the story when Lydia starts to go through and my writing is starting to get exciting! Really it's a win/win situation… unfortunately, I'm a bad person and put nothing about the main-main plot in this chapter… eh…

krirobe- Hey, why are there quotes around "time consuming"? I send a suspicious glare at you. I you suggesting that I am setting things up- ME? No, I'm just kidding…hehe… And thank you! You have no idea how great that makes me feel. Whenever I see this horrible stories with tons of reviews I think, "Ok, I must really, really suck then and my instinctive defense of denial is telling my brain I really am relatively good at writing." That just proved all my horrible self conscious doubts wrong! Thank you!

Kerichi- Perhaps you might have a tendency to overanalyze? No, just joking. We all know Sev's growling is possibly the sexiest sound ever made by the human race. Lydia just doesn't know it yet… Oh, man, I just love your reviews. When ever I'm down in the writing dumps, your reviews just crack me up. Oh man, I am such a bad person. I need to catch up on Simply Irresistable and A Tale of Two Matchmakers. And I will! Give me a week, I swear! Good god, I hate AP Social Studies…

Montana- Thanks for reviewing! Yes, Brand New is awesome. Actually, I've been pretty lazy about the whole music thing. At first, I tried to work chapters around songs, but then I got to hasty and just wanted to post chapters and not deal with that. You can tell how little the songs have to do with the chapter. It's pretty bad, and usually just what I'm listening to at the time. I listen to everything sadly… not country though. Don't do the cowboy thing. And no fear, I'm taking a peek at your fic the first chance I get.

skytten334- Thanks for reviewing and to answer your questions

1. Yes, this is a Snape/OFC story, though it may not seem that way now. I assure you, it is a Snape/OFC story, although Lydia was developed from many canon ideas and I've made her to fit canon ideas.

2. Oh, man, I hate this question, seeing as the answer is sort of complicated. As I stated before, Lydia is meant to fit with canon. Obviously this means she will not be around in the time of the series or at least she will not be prominent. She is not going to be part of the Order of the Phoenix or anything like that. She also is not going to be married to Snape with three kids either. This means, I have two main ways of ending the story, one is extremely fluffy, and part of me loves it- the other is not so nice. I cannot tell you what ending it will be, because honestly, I have no idea. I seriously have no idea. And if you don't want to continue with the story because of that, I completely understand.

So, thanks to you all! This is possibly the longest A/N ever… and I am not reading it over… too tired…

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ALL I ASK ARE FOR SOME RAMBLY REVIEWS!**

Hey, I think I deserve it for the slaving I do over this computer.

Yes, I'm a vile, vile harpy…


	16. Here In My Room

**Heaven Sent**

Here in My Room

-----

_This party is old and uninviting  
Participants all in black and white  
You enter in full-blown Technicolor  
Nothing is the same after tonight _

If the world would fall apart  
In a fiction worthy wind  
I wouldn't change a thing  
Now that you're here

Yeah, love is a verb here in my room  
Here in my room, here in my room

You enter and close the door behind you  
Now show me the world as seen from the stars  
If only the lights would dim a little  
I'm weary of eyes upon my scars

Pink tractor beam into your incision  
Head spinning as free as dervish's' whirl  
I came here expecting next to nothing  
So thank you for being that kind of girl  
That kind of girl

Here in My Room- Incubus

-----

Lydia was seething. That possibly was the worst outing she had ever had the displeasure of attending. That stupid elf patronizing her and then Remus acting like it was nothing! Who did they think they were?

Her arms crossed, and her jaw clenched, the Ravenclaw stomped up the steps, her destination the library. Lydia had decided she had seen the worst of the night. It could only get better, if only marginally. She would get the misfortunes of the evening off her mind through some translating, she was sure. She reached the top of the steps, and proceeded walking down the dim corridor.

As her prints resounded time after time, she heard an airy giggle somewhere near- a very familiar giggle…

"Oh, no! Emmaline! I could never!" The words came out in a high pitched squeak. _Elle-_Lydia was certain now, and as she rounded the corner, the sight came as proof. Up ahead there was a group of three giggling girls- well, she couldn't really say that. Morrie was never one to giggle.

"You weren't so discrete with Black," Lydia heard Morrie's prominent voice but could not see her lips move from so far away. She sounded somehow displeased, speaking in her usual blunt and arrogant tone.

"But Sirius is quite the catch."

Lydia was tempted to growl, but she was reminded vaguely of Severus. Emmaline… and there she was, just up ahead, flipping her moonless locks. She was standing between Morrie and Elle, her nose high up like the queen she thought herself to be. Lydia wasn't sure who she hated more at that moment, that absurd excuse for a person in front of her or that stupid house elf. Her hands, crossed with her arms, dug into the flesh below her shoulders.

As the company of girls came closer, she was sure she caught Elle looking at her before turning back quickly to Emmaline, making a comment she did not hear. Emmaline seemed too absorbed in the new witty rebuttal she was saying to notice Lydia, but Morrie… Morrie was staring at her with a hawk's gleam.

Maybe this was her chance to apologize. She was certain Elle and Morrie would be glad to hear it. They would take her back, wouldn't they? It had only been a stupid fight- barely a fight at all… yes, she would apologize, and this was the only time she would really corner them. They wouldn't be able to avoid her.

When Lydia was just a few feet in front of them, she swallowed, and stuck out her chin, "Hello."

There was no answer.

The three girls just continued walking, not looking back. Lydia's jaw unhinged and she turned around, watching them, "Wait! Elle! Morrie!" she called desperately, realizing that they had ignored her. She took a few steps in their direction, hoping to grab their attention, but she stopped. Morrie was looking back over her shoulder. She frowned and shook her head, then turning back to the other girls.

Lydia stopped breathing for a moment, her eyes tracing the group until they had turned the corner, her ears perched until their voices could no longer be heard. Her chin pointed straight to the ground, and she clasped her eyes shut. Her arms still crossed, but no longer in that sort of rebellious way, but almost as if she was cold and striving to stay warm.

They had ignored her- completely ignored her. She wasn't even acknowledged by them, those who she had called her best friends.

But she couldn't get upset about it. She wouldn't. She took a deep breath and shook her head. She needed to clear her thoughts, and at this moment, she doubted the library would suit her needs. Lydia wanted badly to return to her dorm, to succumb to the sleep that was wanted and needed, but she knew they would be there. She sighed. The library was the best place to go, and she had promised Severus she would work anyway, even if she had already attempted to break it.

Dropping her arms, she started walking again.

-----

Only minutes later, Lydia found herself entering the far empty library. What time was it?

Madam Pince was craning over her desk, stamping a good number of books. She looked up when she heard the squeak of the door, "Lydia," she said briskly, "I would think you of all people would be familiar with the hour at which this library closes."

Lydia looked to the clock above the older woman's head. It read eight eleven. Lydia sighed, "I'm sorry, Madam Pince. I didn't realize it was that late."

She turned around wearily, making to leave when Madam Pince's voice stopped her, "That little project you've got with Severus, then?"

Lydia switched back, "Yes."

The librarian looked her over with a keen eye, "You've had a rough day, haven't you?"

"I suppose…" Lydia murmured. She smiled sympathetically.

"If I left you here to work, could I trust you to lock up?"

Lydia was surprised by this, but she nodded carefully. The librarian took a ring of dangling keys from her robes, and came to Lydia, placing them in her hand, "Take care, then…" She put her hand on the girl's shoulder, "I hope everything works out."

And with that she was gone, snapping the door shut. She left behind a very stunned Lydia though, standing in the lonely library, now dark except for the few torches that lighted the walls. Delicately, she placed the keys in her own jean pocket, and heading to the back of the library.

She breezed by the towering shelves, trying to push down the scratch growing in her throat. She was relieved to reach the table and practically feel into the seat, dropping the graying messenger bag at her side. Swallowing, she tucked her hair behind her ears, and bent down to take out her work, stacking it on the table. Slowly, she opened the book and immediately placed the dictionary at her side. Her eyes, blinking furiously, turned to the writing.

She tried to follow the words jumping off the page, but she found herself more and more distracted with each passing second. Her nails began to wear down as she picked at them furiously. She kept swallowing, hoping her neck wasn't getting splotchy.

She was trying so hard, so hard not to break down, and it was all in vain as she felt to hot droplets fall on her lanky arm. She wiped them away harshly, but it only brought more streaming down her face. Bringing her hands to her face, the sobs she had tried to swallow choked out, and her head fell into her palms, her elbows shaking where they stood on the table.

She didn't know how long she stayed there, caught in something of a trance as the sobs and tears poured out of her- trying to make up for so many times she had pushed them away. But she soon snapped out of it as she heard footsteps, heading most likely in her direction.

She used the sleeve of her blouse, cleaning away the water, but her face still shined fresh. She shut her eyes, hoping to slow if not stop any more from coming. When she opened them, she did all she could not to let them fall, and there was almost a pain behind her lids, begging her to let go.

"Lydia?"

She recognized that voice. It's deep, strong tone ringing through the darkness around her. Looking up, the first thing she could see were his obsidian orbs, gleaming cold in the torchlight. He stepped forward coming into the illumination, his head tilted almost curiously.

She said nothing, meeting his gaze, but not before silent tears dripped softly from her lashes once more.

"You're crying," he said bluntly. He was surprised to find her this way.

Lydia frowned, "I know."

Slowly, like approaching a wild animal, he came to sit in the seat beside Lydia, always watching her with his sharp eyes.

"Why are you here?" she asked.

"Madam Pince said you needed help."

"She was wrong."

Severus watched her intently a moment, before shaking his head softly, "I don't think she was."

Lydia clamped her eyes shut again, cringing at his comment, "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Maybe you would inform me."

Lydia choked down another sob at this, but it amounted in an embarrassing hiccup, "You wouldn't understand."

Severus nodded, "You're right. I wouldn't." He stood up to leave, but without thinking Lydia's hand reached up to catch his. She would never fully understand what had driven her to do it. She could only explain it as a mere reaction or maybe she wanted him to stay. No one ever really wants to be alone in that sort of state, do they?

He stopped, staring at her for a moment.

"I'm sorry," she murmured, pulling her hand away from his. She was surprised to find he would not let go; only squeezing her hand. Quietly, he slid back into the chair. He didn't say anything, but watched her with a calculating intentness. They sat their like that for a while, their hands still together.

Lydia broke the compromising silence with a deep breath, her tears finally had slowed, "I feel so- so… I don't really know how I feel," she began, "It seemed like everything was going fine this year. Not perfect… never perfect, but fine enough… But then…"

"Then you began to spend time with me," Severus finished for her.

Lydia sighed, "Yes, I suppose that's one of the reasons. Elle and Morrie were never fond of you."

"Is that what all this is about? Your friends?"

She hated to admit it, "Yes… and Remus too, and Emmaline, and … really everyone I guess."

"Remus? What's wrong with Lupin?" he questioned. Lydia gave out a bit of a groan.

"I don't know… I guess… I was so sure I liked him, and them tonight… he wasn't really that bad or anything… just sort of an underhanded bastard I guess."

"Underhanded bastard is an understatement."

Lydia smiled a bit at this, "And you're biased."

"True… What did he do?"

"Took me to the kitchens," she said, scratching her itchy, but now dry eyes. Severus looked grimly appalled.

"The kitchens?"

"Where I had the privilege to meet the most obnoxious house-elf on this side of the Channel, only to find that our location was a recent go to with his ex- girlfriend- Emmaline." She frowned profusely at the last bit.

"Vance, right?"

"Yeah," Lydia said miserably, "Not only is she is ex-girlfriend. Oh, no, she's also decided to take my spot between Morrie and Elle. I've been officially replaced."

Severus thought for a moment, "I know I don't have very much experience in the area, but is that a thing real friends would do?"

"Replace me, you mean?" Severus nodded, as Lydia pondered the idea, "No, I don't think it is," she said finally.

The two fell into silence, both looking anywhere but each other. Lydia had no idea what time it was, but she felt it must be getting late. Looking down at the table, she saw that Severus's hand was still in hers. She smiled sadly. His hand, so thin and cold, still seemed to give her the warmth she needed in the musty library.

She cleared her throat, grabbing Snape's attention, "Do you have the time?" she asked.

He nodded, and reached into his robes, taking out a silver pocket watch. He flipped it open and narrow his eyes at the face before answering, "It's nearing nine thirty- past curfew."

"We should probably get going then," Lydia said, standing up and finally losing hold of his hand. He nodded, and took her lead, standing up. Slowly, and almost mournfully she gathered her things, stuffing the books and stray papers into her messenger bag as he watched with grim eyes. Slinging the bag over her shoulder, she came to stand by him and they proceeded to walk through the rows of shelves. As they went through the door, Lydia stopped.

"Will you wait a minute? I told Madam Pince I would lock up."

"Of course," Severus said, also stopping and moving to stand next to her as she held the door shut and turned the key. After she was sure the door was locked, they began to walk again.

"Do you think she'll be able to open the door tomorrow morning," Lydia asked.

"I'm sure she gave you an extra set."

"Probably."

As they reached the main staircases, their usual splitting fork if they were traveling together, Severus spoke up, "Do you want me to walk you up to your Tower?"

Lydia thought about it for a moment. It was after curfew and it would be better if she did get caught, to be caught with Severus. And to be honest, she really didn't feel like being alone right now. But then there was always the fact he would have to make his way to the dungeons alone from one of the highest points in the castle. She would feel horrible if he got caught.

"No, it's alright. I'll manage."

"Alright," he said, sounding a bit relieved. She supposed he just asked to be polite, if Snape could be polite.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Of course… Good night."

"Night," Lydia murmured, watching him walk down the corridor, unpleasantly similar to a previous experience in the same corridor earlier that night, "Wait, Severus!"

He turned around, looking puzzled.

"Thank you."

He simply nodded, and turned back around, continuing on his way. Lydia watched him go, before making her own leave to start the hike p to Ravenclaw Tower.

-----

As Severus rounded the corner, he stopped, knowing he was out of sight. Defeated and irritated, he leaned against the stone wall beside him and sighed, "Salazar, what have I dragged her into?"

-----

A/N- I just want to let you all know, I just failed a Math test because instead of studying for my independent chapter, I was writing this chapter! It's alright though. It's worth it. I hoped you liked this chapter. It was a bit hard to write and I would totally appreciate feedback.

Now, I'd like to thank all my reviewers who were extra fabulous this last chapter!

An Anti-Sheep Cheese Muffin- I know… that elf is an idiot. I actually had to play the part of the annoying waitress in a play…ugh…

Jade- Thank you! I'm so glad you thin Lydia is a good character. I'm constantly paranoid that she is a Mary Sue, but that's probably due to my utter lack of confidence. Thanks!

LiLy MaLfOy13- Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm glad you like it!

risi- Yeah, Remus has a bit to work out… but that's for later. Lydia did show some pretty nice self control. Not only would I have smashed the spaghetti all over the elf, I would have hexed it too.

skytten334- Oh, man, this is possibly the coolest review ever! I love long reviews, but this was extraordinary! Way to make my day and totally motivate me to actually write on schedule. I'm happy that you like Lydia, because she is so hard to develop and also glad you like Morrie and Elle. Elle was actually inspired by one of my own friends, and originally Morrie was just something out of my head, but she decided to turn into me- to blunt and arrogant for her own good…woops… Man, I was so worried about canon characters not being in character, so that just took a lot of pressure off…

Lady Claudia, I'm afraid, is an author I haven't read before. I actually don't read a lot of Snape stories, mainly because they are either Hermione/Snape (cringe) or Snape/Mary Sue. You know, the typical new DADA teacher is a match met for Snape! Thing. I unfortunately am a too passionate Draco/Ginny shipper…

About the time period, I felt the same way after reading book five. I wanted so badly to see a Marauder period fic, but I couldn't seem to find one that fit my tastes. So I decided to write this one. I hope it lives up to people's expectations.

Oh, man book six is gonna be epic! I'm going into the city to buy it at midnight!

Don't worry; I'm usually pretty good about updating. I do at least twice a week, but a lot of the time three. I won't stop, not when going strong with this story… Storms is still sort of on hold because of this though…eh…

I'm glad you picked up all the little clues I've been throwing around. I was afraid they were too subtle. And the four stages thing is amazing. I totally think it is right. You have to tell me what Buffy book it is because one of my best friends is a huge Buffy fan, and she probably has it.

About Fluff- Fluff isn't necessarily a fan fiction term, but is used a lot, I know, in my American everyday life. It means sicken romantic in a totally cliché way, to put it simply.

And finally about betas- I did have one at one point, and she was great for correcting stuff, but she tried to impose on the story far too much, and I like to post chapters right when I get them done, not wait around for someone to send me back the next chapter. So I gave up on them. And thank you for pointing out those errors, because I never would have caught them. I've been meaning to clean up grammatically, but I lazy, what can I say?

Oh man, I am so not reading any of this author's note over. It's too fricken late…

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I BEG YOU OF MERCY, GIVE ME SOME LONG OPINIONATED RAMBLY REVIEWS!!!**

I'm just horrible…


	17. Little Willow

**Heaven Sent**

Little Willow

_-----_

_Bend, little willow  
Wind's gonna blow you  
Hard and cold tonight_

Life, as it happens  
Nobody warns you  
Willow, hold on tight.

Nothing's gonna shake your love  
Take your love away  
No one's out to break your heart  
It only seems that way...hey

Sleep little willow  
Peace gonna follow  
Time's gonna heal your wounds  
Grow to the heavens  
Now and forever  
Always came too soon.

Little willow

Nothing's gonna shake your love  
Take your love away  
No one's out to break your heart  
It only seems that way...hey

Bend, little willow  
Wind's gonna blow you  
Hard and cold tonight  
Life, as it happens  
Nobody warns you  
Willow, hold on tight.

Ahhh, little willow  
Little willow

_Little Willow_- Paul McCartney

-----

Sunlight flittered through the shades, cascading a playful stripe along Lydia's sleeping form, one beam hitting right at her eyes. She groaned, trying to open her lids, but finding, much to her displeasure, they were clamped shut, clasped in a sticky amount of sleep. Fiercely, she wiped the sand from her lashes, practically pulling her eyes open. She sat blinking oddly for a moment, waiting to gain her sight again, before looking around the room. The surrounding beds were all folded neatly.

Panicking, Lydia turned to the clock. It was only six o'clock. She sighed, relieved, and stood up, meandering to the bathroom. She was glad to have the dormitory to herself, especially after last night. She guessed, in another attempt to avoid her, the caddy trio had made sure to depart before she awoke.

Shutting the door behind her, she turned to the sink, only to drop her mouth at the sight she saw in the mirror. Huge purple bags sunk beneath her scratchy eyes, red from her crying, and her cheeks were sunken in and pale. She quickly grabbed a tissue after noticing the yellowing crust beneath her nose.

She rubbed her eyes once more, hoping that they would somehow get back to normal, but it didn't work. Instead, she submitted to the idea of taking a long hot shower, making sure to scrub her face well. When she got out, hair soaking and skin moist, she found that the washing a done some good, but only a little. Disappointed, her hair was dried with a simple drying spell, and she put on the first set of robes she could find.

Too modest to try a glamour spell, Lydia started on her way to the Great Hall, hoping her new differences would not be so noticeable. It was a long walk from Ravenclaw Tower to the Great Hall, and she was not surprised to catch a few people on the way. No one talked to her. She didn't really expect them to.

The bottom of the staircase she was on was approaching, causing her to remember the happenings of the night before. It was the same place Severus and she had parted after that extremely embarrassing encounter. She deeply regretted throwing all her whining on him, and he was probably very uncomfortable because of it. She would apologize to him the first chance she got. Having learned a good lesson with Morrie and Elle, sorrys were not to be delayed.

It seemed that first chance was a lot sooner than she thought, as she dropped from the last step, she saw him coming towards her from the direction of the library, a book in his hands. Lydia stopped, and waited for Severus.

"Severus," Lydia greeted him as him came near, "Listen, I'm very sorry about last night. I've just been a bit stressed recently, and it was wrong of me to throw that on you. I must apologize."

He looked at her blankly, "Accepted," he said briskly, like it was nothing, "Now, I was just in the library working on some of the translation. It's going much faster now that I've grown accustomed to the language and word order."

"Oh," said Lydia, surprised he did not have more of a reaction to her apology. Maybe he hadn't minded so much as she believed.

"With my work this morning, we have approximately sixty three pages finished and ready to be deciphered in English. I'm certain if we dedicate the weekend, we can reach one hundred."

"We dedicate every weekend to this, Severus," she pointed out wearily.

"No, we honestly don't. We take far too many breaks and leave our research too early. I'm saying that as soon as classes end on Friday, we are there permanently."

"We leave at eight o'clock every night- when the library closes."

"You still have the set of keys Madam Pince gave you last night, correct?" he asked.

"No," Lydia said firmly, "I'll not keep them. She'll be getting them back like I promised."

"I'm not saying you have to give them back, but you can duplicate them. You're good enough at transfiguration."

Good enough, but not great, "I suppose I could, but she'll have wards up and such too."

"We're not incapable when it comes to charm work. Wards can easily be taken care of."

"You're also forgetting that it's Halloween on Saturday."

"No, I'm not," he said.

"But what about the feast?"

"All the more better for us to get into the library. We would be able to work out the wards with minimal chance of being caught, and Madam Pince would not be there to bother us."

"Surely someone will notice if we are gone," said Lydia. Severus stared at her intently for a moment.

"I would think that after last night, you would realize that no one will notice our absence. No one for the either of us," he said softly.

Lydia's faced dropped, and she grew quiet. He was right, she knew. Nobody would care to even think of her now, much less notice her… but he noticed her- Severus. He had been the only somewhat reliable person of late. Lydia could not blow him off just because she had idealistic views towards her friends.

He made her grasp the truth.

"You're right," she agreed, "I'll start working on the duplicate during my free lunch today.

"Good," he said, "I assume you're heading to breakfast."

"Yes, I am. Will you walk with me?"

"Very well."

The two continued walking, but together now and in silence. He was stepping near to her and every once and a while, their robes would whisper together in a soft symphony.

When they arrived in the Great Hall, it was crowded as Lydia had suspected it would be. Thoughtlessly, she looked over to the Gryffindor table to catch Remus's eyes on her. He immediately turned red and looked down when he noticed her gaze. Severus was frowning.

"I'll see you tonight," he promised dryly. Lydia nodded.

"Good- bye then."

He departed without another word, but Lydia did not watch him go. She scurried over to the Ravenclaw Table, swallowing as she saw Elle sitting next to Emmaline, and Morrie leaning over the table to talk with them. Having no one to sit with, she chose to eat alone, sitting at the very end of the table, the closest people a group of first years.

She could never say it was a pleasant meal. Her eyes kept trailing over to the group of caddy girls just down the table, and when her eyes kept meeting with Remus, the urge to eat left her altogether. So, she sat there, twisting her eggs around on the plate, daring herself to look back up, but she couldn't. She didn't want to, not wanting to be reminded of her own faults.

To interrupt her thoughts, a pack of owls burst into the large hall, dropping packages and letters to various students. She was a bit surprised to see Odin flying (though not very well) towards her. He dropped down on the wood in front of her, a small envelope attached to his knee. Relieved, Odin smacked his head into her glass of pumpkin juice and began taking it down with a desert's thirst. Lydia reached over and took the letter from his leg.

_Lydia_

_I've been in touch with the Headmaster, and he's informed me of your recent status in many of your classes, and I cannot say I am pleased. I was under the impression that we had talked about your crucial need to do better in Defense Against the Dark Arts as well as many of your other classes that were in weak standing. Instead of improvement, I received news only of you doing poorly and grades dropping in not just those few fragile subjects, but also in those of your best._

_I am not only disappointed but outraged. For all that I do for you, I ask only in return that you give me a top standing in academics, yet you are prone to throw off your studies for trivialities. If there is no improvement soon, and I mean soon, there will be consequences._

_Father_

Lydia read the note, growing pale. She knew she had missed a few more homework assignments than before, and that her test scores were no near as high as they used to be. Biting the inside of her cheek, she folded the letter slowly and tucked it into her robes.

He was disappointed, as always. Why couldn't she just be the good daughter he had wished for? She was constantly below his expectations. Why? She shut her eyes tightly, begging herself not to cry, but she knew she would last long. Standing up abruptly, she hurried from the hall, looking down.

As soon as she the door snapped behind her, she was walking as fast as she could to the stairs, but a deep, familiar voice called her name from behind. She whirled around.

"Lydia, are you alright?"

She wanted to yes. She was going to say yes, but something just completely broke in her for one second. She didn't want to cry, she knew she was overreacting. She knew she was being stupid and illogical, but she did it anyway. She hated herself for letting the water stream down her cheeks.

And then his arms were around her, squeezing her tightly, and filling her with warmth. Her head fell to his chest, and her hands gripped the fabric of his robes. His chin rested on the top of her head, and softly he cooed words of soothing to her ears. He ran his hand up and down her back, hoping to stop her shivering. She sobbed, her wailing muffled by the fabric of his shirt as he held her.

Suddenly, she heard the door of the Great Hall creek open, and she could feel his head lift off hers to look up.

"Remus," it was a girl's voice addressing him, "Is she okay?"

(A/N- I bet you thought it was Snape!)

"Yeah, she's fine, she just needs to be left alone," she heard him answer. He pulled back from her a little, "Come on, why don't we get out of here and you can tell me what's up."

Lydia swallowed, looking up into those good natured blue eyes that did not seem so good natured now. He was worried, "Okay," she choked, looking to the side to see a redheaded girl watching them intently. Lydia recognized her as Lily Evans. Remus nodded at Lily, who nodded in return and went back into the Great Hall. Making sure she was gone, he wrapped his arm around Lydia's waste, and began to lead her up the stairs.

"I now somewhere private where we can talk," he said. Then smiling at her, "Don't worry though, it's not the kitchens."

Lydia laughed at this, a bit cheered up by his comment. She began to wipe at her cheeks, embarrassed by her outburst.

"There, that's better!" He said, grinning. She smiled softly at him. It was so odd that he could make her feel so great at times and so angry at others.

Remus brought her to a part of the castle she had never been before, turning into an empty classroom, dusty from disuse. He immediately dragged a chair from the side of the room over for Lydia, when he himself perched on the old teacher's desk.

"So," he said, looking serious, "Are you gonna tell me what's wrong?"

Lydia looked down, "That time of the month?"

"Oh no, you are not getting out of this one," he laughed, and then sobering, "You're scaring me, Lyds. What's going on?"

She smiled a bit at the nickname, almost like a term of endearment, "It's just… I've been stressed, nothing more. You know, late nights for that DADA test…I completely overreacted back there and I'm sorry."

"That's it? You're just stressed?" He still sounded concerned.

"Yes, that's it," she nodded in finality. She didn't really understand why she didn't tell him, but part of her thought he would not understand and make some joke about the situation. And while that could be great, it wasn't exactly what she wanted. Plus she didn't feel like talking about it in general. She just wanted to forget about it.

Remus sighed in relief, "Thank Merlin! I thought it was something worse, like your cat died or something."

"My cat? I don't even have a cat."

"You don't? Well, that's good to know then…" Lydia laughed, "Hey, you know, I could help you out a bit with DADA if you want?"

Lydia gave a tip lipped smile, "That would be nice."

"How about this weekend? Before the feast maybe? The feast you are going to sit with me at right?"

"I' can't," she answered automatically, "Severus and I are doing research."

"Snape?" Remus frowned, "Yeah, I noticed you guys walk into the Hall together. Did he do something to you to make you so upset?"

"No! Rowena, no, I'm working with him on a project."

"What subject?"

"Um, History of Magic," she lied.

Remus nodded, "Look, Lydia, I know Snape. He's not exactly a nice guy. If he tries something, I mean anything; I want you to come to me, okay?"

"Severus wouldn't do me any harm. We're friends." She was surprised with herself after she said it, but she supposed they were friends, especially after what he did last night.

"I still wouldn't trust him, Lyds. He's got a bad reputation."

"That doesn't mean anything. It's all just rumours."

Remus looked doubtful, "I'm not so sure about that."

"Remus-"

"Just be careful, okay. I worry about you, you know?" He stood up, and walked over to where she was sitting, and knelt down in front of her.

"I will. I promise."

"Thank you," he murmured, bringing her face closer to hers, closing the small distance between them with a kiss. She responded eagerly, ready to take her mind off the recent happenings. Her hands found there way around his neck, tickled by the strands of shaggy hair there, and his arms came around her ways. They stayed together, caught up in there act before he pulled away first, his breathing ragged.

"I'm sorry about last night. I was being a fool." He whispered in a raspy voice.

"It's alright. I overreacted. I'm the one who should be sorry."

"Yeah…" he agreed. Lydia picked at her nails, "Hey, why don't I take you to your next class." He stood up, holding his hand out to Lydia.

"Okay," she said, grabbing his hand and standing. Together, the couple walked out the door, heading in the direction of the Arithmancy room.

-----

A/N- I know I'm horrible… hehe… well, it was a snow day so I got this chapter a littler sooner out than I expected. I hope you enjoy it, though I'm sure a few of you will hate it…

I just wanted to announce that this story just reached over 40,000 words! And that was my original goal for the story. I didn't expect it to even get this long, but I know it is going to be a whole lot longer. I still have to get through sixth year, the summer, seventh year, the war, and then all that good stuff afterwards. It's going to be long, I can tell. I hope you'll stay along for the ride though!

It's awesome that I am starting to get new reviewers each chapter! Thank you for taking a chance on my story! And of course I can't be grateful enough for the support of my loyal reviewers who come back time and time again. Thank you!

Madelynn Rae- Thanks for the review! Yes, math does suck…

ButterflyOfLothlorien- Oh, don't be mad at Remus. He just doesn't know what he's doing. Thanks for reviewing, and I love your username!

skytten334- Man, you really out do yourself! I love your reviews! I read it, and I was like, "Okay, must open MS word and start the new chapter." I hate when guys comment about weight! Urgh! I love Remus, I really do, but you're right about his friends. That was something I wanted to portray. He just let's them get away with too much.

I'm not going to comment on the next bit, because I know I will gove way too much away…

I haven't seen the movie yet, but I've seen Phantom of the Opera, I think six times on stage. The first time was with Sarah Brightman! I've been meaning to see the movie, but I was afraid it would ruin the musical. I always wanted her to end up with Eric… I'll think I'll go see it now.

Thanks for the name of the essay. I'm gonna go check that out with my friend aka VilleValoRocksTheBed669…hehe, she's crazy. I'm really interested in reading that.

Oh, man! That cartoon is hilarious! Good God! I loathe Mary Sues!

Why, of course Draco and Ginny! I wasn't a fan at first, but believe me, once you read the Draco Trilogy, you will be.

And good luck with your chemistry grade!

risi- I am not going to say anything, because I know I will give something away… J

Sadistic-Nightmares- Oh, man! I drove you to that sort of emotion? That is so fucking cool! …sorry, I'm a bit weird… Don't worry, I think you'll see where things end up with Lydia and Remus.

Thank you guys for reviewing!

On another note, I would appreciate it if people did advertise there RP websites in my reviews.

I would also like to say, I am looking for a good message board RP, but not one that belongs to a sort of school with strict rules and guidelines. I was sort of just hoping to get a few good writers together and start our own thing on just a random message board. I would make one of my own, but I have no idea how to do that. If you do know of one or would like to start one, contact me through email or post a review. Thanks!

Thanks everybody!

Not reading this huge ass thing over…

And now

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GIVE ME SOME MOTIVATING NICE LONG RAMBLY REVIEWS!**


	18. In His Eyes

**Heaven Sent**

In His Eyes

-----

_I sit and watch the rain,  
And see my tears run down the windowpane...  
I sit and watch the sky.  
And I can hear it breathe a sign...  
I think of him,  
How we were...  
And when I think of him,  
Then I remember...  
Remember..._

_  
In his eyes I can see  
Where my heart longs to be!  
In his eyes I see a gentle glow,  
And that's where I'll be safe, I know!_

_Safe in his arms, close to his heart...  
But I don't know quite where to start..._

_By looking in his eyes,  
Will I see beyond tomorrow?  
By looking in his eyes,  
Will I see beyond the sorrow  
That I feel?_

_Will his eyes reveal to me  
Promises or lies?  
But he can't conceal from me  
The love in his eyes!_

_I know their every look,  
His eyes!  
They're like an open book,  
His eyes!  
But most of all the look  
That hypnotized me!_

_If I'm wise,  
I will walk away,  
And gladly...  
But, sadly,  
I'm not wise,  
It's hard to talk away  
The mem'ries that you prize!_

_Love is worth forgiving for!  
Now I realize -  
Everything worth living for  
Is there, in his eyes!  
Love is worth forgiving for!  
Now I realize -  
Now I realize -  
Everything worth living for  
Is there, in his eyes!_

_In His Eyes- Jekyll and Hyde_

_-----_

It was finally Friday, and while classes had yet to end, it was a free block of Lydia's and she was spending some time in her abandoned dormitory. It was nice to be actually doing something other than sleeping there, and she sat with her back turned to the door, striving to finish her Transfiguration essay.

And suddenly, something hard hit her spine, causing her to gasp. The object of abuse had fallen to the floor after meeting her, and she looked down to see it. A navy converse sneaker- she only knew one person who wore them.

"You're a fucking idiot," Morrie said, standing akimbo by the door. Lydia noticed that a black sock covered her left foot while the pair to the other sneaker was born on her right, "I just thought I'd inform you of that."

"What the-"

"For all your books smarts, you have the most awkward people skills I have ever seen."

"What are-"

"You think that you can find the answer to every little fucking thing in some bloody book, and you can't!"

Lydia was alarmed. No contact for at least a week now and there was Morrie, suddenly shouting at her, "Look, I know we are fighting, but-"

"You're bloody right we're fighting! You think that you can just write me off whenever you fucking feel like it!"

"Write you off? What are you talking about?"

Morrie snorted grimly, "Oh, come on Lydia, you do this all the time. Run off on your own, hole yourself up, never telling anybody anything, ignoring _me_! The real question here is what are you talking about?!"

"You were the ones who decided to ignore me!"

"After you locked yourself in the bathroom and tried to avoid us the next day!"

"Hey, I tried to talk to you! But you were to busy with Emmaline-"

"Good Rowena, are you that thick? I can barely tolerate Elle, what makes you think I could handle Emmaline –the fucking girl wonder- Vance?"

"But you guys were-"

"Look, Elle starting hanging out with her, and I had nowhere else to go. What the hell did you expect me to do?" Morrie said like it was the most logical thing to do.

"Well, that's no excuse. You have Lily Evans," replied Lydia stiffly.

"Evans?" Morrie barked, "Good god, I don't think I could take much more of the girl."

"I thought she was your best friend?"

"Was- is the key word here, was- until she decided to go all mega bitch on me. The only thing she talks about is how awful Potter is. Like I don't know? Practically consumed her life it has, and I know that I, for one, would like an intelligent conversation." Morrie said grudgingly.

"Is that the only reason you stopped talking to here, because she didn't tlak about what you wanted to talk about?"

"No, it's not just that. She really wasn't fun anymore. She's such a fucking prude sometimes, you know? We just weren't working together. She thought I was mean or something."

"You can be mean sometimes, you know." Lydia pointed out quietly.

"I know… I'm sorry for being such an ass,"

"And I'm sorry for being such an ass too."

"So, are we friends again?" Morrie asked plainly, but Lydia could see the traces of hope in her hawk like eyes.

"We've always been."

"Good, I think this calls for a strictly friendly hug then." Lydia gave a dramatic sigh and hopped off the bed, giving Morrie a quick hug. Morrie pulled back first, "Now that that's done, I think we should probably head to Potions. I need to get there early to finish my homework."

"Alright," Same old Morrie- never doing her homework… Lydia stuffed her things unceremoniously in her trademark messenger bag, and followed Morrie out the door, with a smile on her face and feeling much better about life in general.

-----

Lunch had been nice, and so had potions, her last class of the day. Morrie had stayed with her the whole time and looked much put off when Lydia had told her she was heading to the library. She was even more put off to find it had to do with Snape.

"Honestly, Lydia, I don't like the idea of you hanging around him. He's bad news," Morrie had said, to which Lydia waved her hand at. Morrie had agreed to walk her down to the library, and down the corridor, their destination was in sight.

"You know those are just rumours."

"And rumours always have some basis."

Lydia shook her head, "You sound just like Remus."

"Good, I'm glad to know he's looking after you."

"Morrie, stop it." They had reached the doors, and Lydia was standing beside them, while Morrie remained to the center of the hall, almost afraid to go in.

"I'm just making sure you're all right," she said seriously.

"I fine taking care of myself, thank you very much."

Morrie frowned, "It doesn't seem that way. It really doesn't…" she sighed before Lydia could rebuttal, "I guess I'll see you tomorrow, then?"

"Yeah," Lydia replied, "Tomorrow."

Morrie turned on her heal, and walked away in that certain stylish gait, not like Elle's. It was more confident, more regal, more proud.

Lydia watched her go, before moving into the library. There were a few people scattered here and there, but most had cleared out for Halloween. The Ravenclaw immediately started towards their table to find Severus already there, steadily working. She sat down next to him without a word, taking out her things and diving straight into her job.

-----

It was late into the night, and Severus had set a concealment charm to hide them from Madam Pince's spying eyes when she was locking up. It was about the only time she had said a word to Severus and it was one of worry.

Still she sat at the same table, looking over the same scripts, and thinking in displeasure of the feast tomorrow. Obviously, she would not be attending if Severus really was set on this project, and she was certain he was. They were actually getting a lot more done that she had thought they would, tackling over thirty pages already, they had finally reached one hundred and ten pages. Translating was getting faster and easier as they both became more accustomed to the language.

Lydia looked to her watch- five of eleven. It was late, already three hours after the library's closing and curfew. Her eyes falling on Snape, she realized that there were no signs of him stopping. She sighed and turned back to her work.

-----

It was five o'clock in the morning. Both Lydia and Severus had left the library in the wee hours in the morning, both desperately needing sleep and had agreed to meet back there at five, at least an hour before Madam Pince showed up. As Lydia made it to the large wooden doors, she saw Severus waiting for her. She had the duplicate key.

"Morning," she said groggily. He nodded in return.

"Good morning."

Lydia reached deep into her robes, muddling around for the key. Severus looked annoyed at this, rolling his eyes and looking down the hallway. The key finally found its way into her hands and she stuck it in the lock, muttering the charm she had worked out to open the doors. She had always been fairly good at Charms. Nowhere near Lily Evans, of course, but she had some claim to it.

The door popped open and she stepped aside, letting Severus walk through before her, "Do we know what the final count was last night?"

"One hundred and ninety three," he said, shutting the door behind him. They continued walking together to the edge of the room.

"We're making better progress better than I thought."

"If we continue working at this rate, I'm certain it will all be done by New Year's."

Lydia, though she knew it was a hush hush topic, still had that curiosity for knowledge that drove her to do well. She could not say she didn't care about what this whole thing was for, and she was the slightest bit suspicious. How could she not be? Lucius Malfoy was the most respectable of wizards and known throughout their world for his generosity and kindness, but something still irked her about the situation.

So, she asked, "Has Mr. Malfoy told you what all this is for yet?"

Severus sent her a glance, "No," he said abruptly, "I thought we talked about this."

"We did," she confirmed, "I just thought he might have told you a bit more about the whole thing."

"Well, he's not telling anything, so you can stop asking."

"Do you wonder what this is for?"

"No," he said sharply, "There's no point in worrying about it, either."

Lydia frowned, "I wasn't worrying about it."

"You seem to be. Believe me, it's nothing worth knowing anyway."

This shut her up.

They had reached the table, and both of them immediately followed their routine, dropping their bags and organizing their things. Severus whispered the concealment charm before they fell deep into their work.

At first, Lydia sunk right into it, enraptured in the text before her. She was working quickly and getting it right. Two hours later, she was too consumed to hear the various students arriving, and three after that, she was too consumed to hear them leaving for lunch. But it was around three o'clock when she started to finally get bored with the texts, and began to get distracted.

She could hear him breathing, his soft, shallow gasps resounding in rhythm, one after the other, and the scratching of his quill against the parchment. His handwriting was messy, as it always got when he was busy or involved. She could see his cold eyes flicking between the scripts and his own writing, narrowing as he found a word he could not quite understand. He would lower his face to the page, as if he could decipher it if he was closer, and his streaked curtain of hair would fall around his cheeks. He would blow at it angrily, trying in vain to push it out of his way, like the thing he was working on was too important for him to drop and move his hair back.

Barely thinking, her frail hand came off the table and reached out, her fingers brushing against his forehead as she pulled the hair out of his face. He immediately turned his head up, eyes staring through her. She quickly pulled her hand back, startled, but his reactions were quick and he caught it, holding it firmly. He looked down to it, running his thumb over her profound knuckles. She watched his actions, alarmed and at the same time, relaxed. His cold fingers against her own were refreshing, and soothed away the ache from the quill. He turned his gaze back to her face, making sharp eye contact- black meeting gray, and there was something there. It wasn't the usual contempt or irritation or concentration or boredom that she knew and recognized. No, this look was something different. The only way she could describe it was as fascination- keen fascination.

And suddenly, her hand was dropped unceremoniously on the table, and he was looking back to the scripts, his quill already in hand, "Back to work," he said harshly, causing Lydia to frown, but it got the job done.

She turned back to her own work, swallowing all the questions she wanted to ask.

-----

A/N- Oh, I am so, so, so awful. I am so sorry for the wait on an update. What can I say? Oh, yeah, how about 'Midterms?' Yeah, it's great fun studying all the time. I know this chapter is short and really just a bit more charcter development, but I really wanted to get something out. Hopefully I haven't lost all my reviwers…

And the infamous (joking) Storms just updated, in case any of you care. I have the next chapter of that written out, I just jave to type it up.

And now to my fabulous reviewers who I love and adore and would never get by without them!

An Anti-Sheep Cheese Muffin- Oh, man, your reviews are automatically awesome just because you incorporated the word "kewlio."

ButterflyOfLothlorien- I'm glad that you are glad Remus apologized, because I know some people were not… looks pointedly at Terry Phantom is amazing! I need to see the movie, but there is only like one theater around where I live and it is still playing Finding Neverland.

Kerichi- You hate me. I know you hate me, because I am awful and have yet ot review your stories. I really am sorry! Really I am! It's just studying and festival and I'm sorry! I swear, I am setting off a corner of time next Saturday just to read them! I swear on Snape's sexy nose!

Yeah, Lydia is a bit off, but I have good reasoning for her offishness. And as you asked, the friend to kick the sense into her! Morrie! Sorry, no Elle, but I have my reasoning! And I was being pretty bad with my Ferris Bueller aside, but it was too much to resist! Forgive me a cruel chuckle…

skytten334- I really was being mean… smiles sheepishly Sorry about getting this out so late. I totally understand what you mean by being busy. School's a bitch. And I would answer some of your questions, but I'm afraid I would slip up and reveal my whole plot to you. Heh.

And I am not reading this A/N over…. You deal with spelling errors! Hehe

**PLEASE I BEG OF YOU, GIVE ME SOME LONG MOTIVATING RAMBLY AWESOME REVIEWS!**


	19. Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again

**Heaven Sent**

**Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again**

-----

_You were once my one companion  
You were all that mattered  
You were once a friend and father  
Then my world was shattered_

_Wishing you were somehow here again  
Wishing you were somehow near  
Sometimes it seemed if I just dreamed  
Somehow you would be here_

_Wishing I could hear your voice again  
Knowing that I never would  
Dreaming of you won't help me to do  
All that you dreamed I could_

_Passing bells and sculpted angels  
Cold and monumental  
Seem for you the wrong companions  
You were warm and gentle_

_Too many years fighting back tears  
Why can't the past just die?_

_Wishing you were somehow here again  
Knowing we must say goodbye  
Try to forgive, teach me to live  
Give me the strength to try_

_No more memories, no more silent tears  
No more gazing across the wasted years  
Help me say goodbye  
Help me say goodbye_

_Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again-_ The Phantom of the Opera

-----

It was late into Saturday night, and Severus and Lydia were stilled holed up in the library, working steadily on the project. Lydia had yet to utter a word since the "incident." It was all too weird- too weird that he could make her stop breathing, too weird that he could make her head flutter, too weird that he could make her stomach drop. She decided the best thing to do was ignore it.

It was around nine thirty when she had last checked, and about half an hour ago, she had taken a count on the work they had done- so far two hundred and forty seven pages were done, but she was sure that they had at least four more done between the two of them since then.

At the moment, she had to admit she was taking a little unofficial break, doodling a nice bordering around her parchment as she went over once more the something that had passed between her and Severus earlier that day. Her thoughts were in turmoil. Did she like him? Was she attracted to him? I mean, how could she be? He wasn't very good looking. Sure, she bet if he cleaned himself up, he might be something to look at with his aristocratic features, but he surely wasn't an eye catcher now. And he was terribly rude and stand offish most of the time, except for those rare instances when he got so involved in something he cared about, you could tell he was not all that jaded.

Then again, he was smart, smarter than most of the boys she knew. Surely smarter than Remus, and… she was comparing him to Remus. That couldn't be good. She had to get off this train of thought now! She didn't like Severus that way, just simply as friends? Well, she didn't really know if they were friends exactly, but maybe accustomed acquaintances-

Her ponderings were suddenly cut off by someone shouting her name, "_Miss Lachlan, are you here?"_ It was a woman's stern voice- Madam Pince?

Alarmed, Lydia turned to Severus, who was looking grim in the direction of the voice. There was another call, but this time it belonged to a man, "_Miss Lachlan!"_

"Did you tell anyone about this?" Severus hissed, grabbing her arm and gripping it tightly. She winced.

"Morrie," she whispered, "And Remus."

The glare he was giving! Lydia was ready to die on the spot, "You told that mudblood dog and your little boyfriend?"

"Don't call her that!" Lydia said fiercely, but still keeping her voice low, "You have no right! _And Remus is not my boyfriend_!" she added as an afterthought.

"_Miss Lachlan!"_

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," he muttered bitterly, "What in Merlin's name brought you to tell them?"

"Because I trust them and they trust me! I couldn't just lie to them!"

"How do you know they aren't lying to you?" He said severely. Lydia was thrown off by this.

"_Miss Lachlan!"_ The calls were getting more frantic, but she ignored them.

"What are you talking about?"

"What? Has Lupin not told you yet?" he scoffed.

"Told me what?"

"What he is- that he's a scum ridden-"

"Miss Lachlan! There you are!" It was Madam Pince, her wand out most likely to break the concealment charm surrounding the area. Dumbledore was standing beside her, "What on Earth are you doing here?"

Lydia was at a loss. She was scared. Why would they be looking for her this late at night? She opened her mouth to say something, but it was Severus who answered, "I'm tutoring Lydia in Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"At nine thirty in the night! It's well past curfew!" Madam Pince roostered, "You could get a suspension for this. How you manage to get past the wards is beyond me!"

"I- I was embarrassed," Lydia managed to choke out, "I didn't want anyone to know I needed help, so Severus agreed to work with me at night."

"Well, that's going to end! This is exactly why we can't have students wandering around at night! We need to find you in case of emergency, not to mention it isn't safe!"

"Is there an emergency?" Lydia looked over to Dumbledore, who had remained silent. His features were set calmly, but darkly like he was deep in contemplation. It set Lydia at unease.

"Yes, Miss Lachlan, I'm afraid there is," the Headmaster said, his twinkling blue eyes staring directly at her, "Perhaps you would like to come to my office to discuss what exactly the situation is."

She glanced nervously to Severus, whose emotions she could not read, "Alright," she said, standing up.

"Irma, could you take Mr. Snape back to his Common Room. I agree it is far too late to be out." The librarian nodded, and gestured to Severus.

"Come on, Mr. Snape." The two walked out of the area into the moments of book shelves. Lydia's gray eyes followed them out.

"Follow me, Miss Lachlan," Dumbledore said, walking out of the library. She followed him, just a little behind him in silence as they went up and down staircases and corridor's to a part of the castle she had rarely been to.

As they stopped outside a statue of an old gargoyle, the Headmaster whispered, "Cockroach clusters," Causing a spiral staircase to appear. Dumbledore stepped on one of the steps, as did Lydia, the steps moving up on their own, reminding Lydia greatly of a muggle contraption she had once been on with her mother.

The first thing Lydia noticed in Dumbledore's office was the enormous amount of books lining the circular walls. Books of all ages, sizes, colors, and subjects reached for floor to ceiling- books Lydia could guess you would not find in the library. On closer examination, Lydia could see all sorts of silver instruments propping books up of whirling about on the shelves. She was most intrigued by a certain figure eight shaped knick knack with golden birds flying through it.

But she was not here to enjoy the atmosphere, and she stood patiently as he took a seat behind his desk. He looked up at her, "Please, Miss Lachlan, have a seat."

"Thank you, sir," she murmured neatly falling into the open chair across from him.

"I am afraid I have some bad news for you."

The feelings of nervousness began to creep over her, tingling her skin. She knew it was important when Dumbledore had called her to her office, "What is it?"

"There was a Death Eater attack made a few hours ago- in Diagon Alley."

Suddenly, she could feel her chest drop in her stomach, and the office blurring before her eyes, "Is he-" Dumbledore cut her off softly.

"Unfortunately, you're father was killed in the attack. I'm very sorry, Miss Lachlan," he murmured.

What? Her head was screaming. What? WHAT? WHAT?!

It was over, just like that? Like some child had flipped a switch t turn off the light? She had know say. He had no say. It was just over?

WHAT?!

Lydia choked on the sobs pushing to come out. She could feel the pressure behind her eyes, and the sudden uncontrollable shaking. Her ears where blocked off and she could only hear her own thoughts whirling in her head.

It was only a few days ago he had sent a letter to scold her. That was the last she had heard from- ever. And now he was gone just like her mother, and with ill parting. She had never written back to say she was sorry, she had never had the time to bring her grades back up, and she had never had the time make up for all her mistakes.

She didn't have the time.

And she regretted it now.

WHAT?!

_what?_

The aching in her chest was more painful than anything she had ever known, pushing her tears forward and her wails out. She coughed, and could feel her nose running. It was long before she remembered where she was, a handkerchief being put in front of her face. She took it willingly, and used it to dry her eyes, wiping her nose daintily, "I sorry." She sniveled to the older man beside her.

"It's quite alright," Dumbledore said, putting a hand on your shoulder, "I happen to have quite an idea of what you are going through."

_what?_

She sniffled a bit, "I just… wish we had more time."

"As we all do when we realize that the time has ridden out… Your father loved you very much Lydia, though he may have chosen to show it in a different way."

"I know… He wanted so much of me. I'm afraid I could only give him very little." A tear ran down her cheek.

_what?_

"There is only so much any of us can do… There is a book I now of. It was one of your mother's favorites in I remember correctly. It seems fit for a situation such as this," The Headmaster moved over to on of the shelves and pulled out a thick, red leather book, handing it to her, "Perhaps you would be interested?"

Lydia ran her hands over the gold spire letter, There and Back Again by Bilbo Baggins and the Lord of the Rings by Frodo Baggins, "What is it about?"

"A great war and the sacrifices that come with it… and the rewards that come with it. I believe you will like it."

"Thank you, Professor…" It was kind of him. She had never read this book before, and if it was a favorite of her mother's…

"I'm very sorry for your loss, Miss Lachlan."

Lydia looked up into his twinkling blue eye's and felt just a bit more at ease. The ache was still there, bet the initial shock and terror was starting to fade. Her father was gone, and while that was sad, she would have to move on.

"I am too… I really should be getting to bed." She said softly, standing up.

"Of course, Miss Lachlan. If you ever need anything, feel free to speak with me."

"I will," she said, heading towards the door, book in hand, "And I'll make sure to get this to you as soon as I am done."

Dumbledore snorted, "Nonsense! It's a gift. Keep it."

"But sir, I couldn't-"

"I think you deserve it, Miss Lachlan, and it's not use to me anymore. I want you to have it," he insisted.

She smiled sadly at him, "Thank you, Professor, for everything."

"Any time, any time…"

"Goodnight," she said, opening the door.

"Goodnight, Miss Lachlan."

Lydia closed the door behind her, moving down the stairs. She walked to her Common Room in silence, holding the new book tight to her body as if for comfort. New tears streamed down her face as her mind traveled back to early Christmases and short walks o Sunday mornings when her mother was still alive. The pain was renewed time and time again every time she could hear a dry humor joke from her mother, and that low rumble of her father's laughter. And when she finally reached Ravenclaw Tower and crawled into her bed, she felt emptier than she ever had, naked and abused.

_what?_

And the one free thought she had, between all the memories of her parents, was of a dark eyed boy who could make the pain go away.

-----

A/N- I'm not entirely happy with this chapter. While comedy has always been my forte, drama unfortunately has not. I feel like the emotion I wanted to get across was not happening… so I sort of gave up…

Sorry about the delay, Midterms are this week, so studying has become a recent activity. Not to mention the uber big blizzard going on… can you say "cabin fever?"

I was very proud of myself for picking this song. It's for all of you Phantom fans out there, and I know there are quite a bit of you. I STILL haven't seen the movie! Consider yourselves lucky. Just kidding. I was very close to using the Incubus song Mexico, but I figured that I had too much Incubus already and this would fit much better.

And now to my wonderful reviewers! You guys rock!

An Anti-Sheep Cheese Muffin- sphiffin? Dude, you just rock. You just totally rock just for using the word sphiffin, and for reviewing of course! I'm glad you liked that little bit at the end.

ButterflyOfLothlorien- Thanks! I'm glad you liked the library bit! Maybe I should have Snape/Lydia action more often… attempts to hums nonchalantly…

lhuntathraeil- Thanks for reviewing! I hope you stick with the story!

Skytten334- "In His Eyes" is actually from the musical Jekyll and Hyde, which is amazing and I totally recommend you see it if you haven't. Yes, I was doing a little hint hinting towards Lily and James. What can I say? Hehe…

You're right Morrie is better than Elle! Maybe it's because even if I didn't mean it… Morrie is exactly like me, just a bit exaggerated. It's pretty bad.

Everyone seems to like this Snape and Lydia romance! Maybe you people are trying to knock some sense into me and get me to put out some action! I know I am horrible about that. J

Have no fear, I totally agree with your sentimentality! Why do you think I adore Snape and Malfoy? I'm a sap for bad boys who go good.

Hey, thanks for checking out my livejournal! It's sadly my pride and joy. Feel free to comment or whatever, and if you have one or get one, you have to tell me so I can friend you.

Watch-Da-Rain- I know, I am so sorry about the slow pace. I'm awful about that… Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you like it.

I just want to let you all know I was invited to my first big dance this week! It's the local private boy's school semi-formal, and I am very excited. One of my friends asked me and he's wicked cool. Plus my best friend is going to with another guy friend of mine. And when I was shopping for a dress with my mom, she insisted I was a size ten because I'm tall or something. After much toil in the fitting rooms, we found that I am NOT a size ten but a size three! Size three! That's the one thing that's similar between Lydia and I- our skinniness, and awkward lanky limbs.

Sorry, I'm a weirdo…

Well, that's all…

**PLEASE I BEG OF YOU TAKE MERCY ON MY POOR SOUL AND REVIEW IN LONG AND RAMBLY WAYS! I'LL GIVE YOU COOKIES!**


	20. Fox In the Snow

**Heaven Sent**

**Fox In the Snow**

**-----**

_Fox in the snow, where do you go  
To find something you can eat?  
Cause the word out on the street is you are starving  
Don't let yourself grow hungry now  
Don't let yourself grow cold  
Fox in the snow_

Girl in the snow, where will you go  
To find someone that will do?  
To tell someone all the truth before it kills you  
They listen to your crazy laugh  
Before you hang a right  
And disappear from sight  
What do they know anyway?  
You'll read it in a book  
What do they know anyway?  
You'll read it in a book tonight

Boy on the bike, what are you like  
As you cycle round the town?  
You're going up, you're going down  
You're going nowhere  
It's not as if they're paying you  
It's not as if it's fun  
At least not anymore  
When your legs are black and blue  
It's time to take a break  
When your legs are black and blue  
It's time to take a holiday

Kid in the snow, way to go  
It only happens once a year  
It only happens once a lifetime  
Make the most of it  
Second just to being born  
Second to dying to  
What else could you do?

_Fox In the Snow_- Belle and Sebastian

-----

"Lydia! Lyds! Come on, wake up!" Morrie was shaking her fiercely, as she lay in bed, but Lydia just moaned in agony and turned away. Her throat hurt, scratchy and dry from crying and the tears that had fallen had caused her eyes to be blurry, "Get up! You need to get up!"

"Leave the hell alone," she groaned, putting her head under the pillow, trying to block the sunlight. She did not want to see the sunlight, she did not want to wake up again, she did not want to be okay- not know at least. She needed some time for it all to sink in.

But that was not going to happen- not with Morrie around because she had dragged Lydia into a sitting position, gripping her arms tight enough to make bruises. Lydia winched, but Morrie just sat staring at her grimly.

And suddenly, Morrie's arms were wrapped around her tight in a tight squeezing hug, but it was over to quickly for her jump on it. Morrie pulled back and stood up, "Get dressed. I don't want to be late for breakfast."

Lydia was taken back by her odd action and then harsh words, "I don't want to. I'm not hungry."

"Do I look like I care?" Morrie asked with that snappish arrogance that was supremely her own. Like she could not tolerate stupidity and now Lydia was being stupid, wasting her time. Lydia didn't think she was being stupid. She didn't want to go, not after last night.

"Morrie, I don't want to go."

"I don't give a damn. We are going to breakfast, and we are going now, so get your pretty arse out of bed and hop in the god damn shower. You're a bloody mess."

"But Morrie-"

"Just do it!"

Lydia looked down, her jaw unhinging, ready to cry again. She nodded slowly, standing up and heading off to the bathroom. Stripping down, she slid into the shower, blaring cold water. And as the liquid rained down her face, she began to cry to, her tears hidden in the artificial rain.

She was not aware of how long she stayed there, just standing under the water until she heard Emmaline banging the door down. Hurriedly and embarrassed, she got out, drying off and throwing on the random jumper and jeans she had taken with her. As she opened the door to get out, Emmaline scowled, "Thought you had drowned in there."

"No, not yet," Morrie barked from across the room. She was leaning lazily against the wall, giving Lydia an odd look, "Come on, we're going."

Lydia nodded and followed her out, even if she was still a mess, her hair wet and dripping down her top. Morrie seemed to be oblivious to this, just walking along. They were about half way to the Great Hall when Morrie finally said something, "Stop moping."

Lydia looked up, "Leave me alone."

"No. Forget about your little pity party alright," she said forcefully.

"Look, Morrie, you have no idea what you-"

"And I could care less. Just stop sulking!" Morrie hissed, walking faster. Lydia frowned, but stayed quiet.

They reached the Great Hall, Morrie entering first, heading briskly towards the Ravenclaw Table and sitting down, immediately piling food on her plate. Lydia however was a bit slower, and this caused an interception.

"Lydia!" Remus called, running towards her. He scooped her into a big embrace, "I'm so, so sorry." She didn't respond. She just stood lank in his arms, looking into his hair, "Are you alright?" he whispered into her ear, "Dumbledore told us all last night about the attack and when he said- I was worried about you."

Lydia pushed him away a bit and stepped back, "He told everyone?"

Remus although he looked put off by her movement answered, "Yes, there were a few more causalities. He read off a list."

Lydia turned and looked at Morrie, who was staring directly at her. Lydia smiled softly, and twisted away from Remus, walking over to the Ravenclaw Table and sitting next to her friend, "Thank you," she murmured.

Morrie raised an eyebrow, and smiled back, "Anytime."

-----

It had been a week since the attack, and Lydia had subconsciously thrown herself into work. All of her free time was spent in a book, and she could tell Remus was getting annoyed. Morrie seemed to understand though. She never bothered her except for the occasional question on potions homework.

Severus didn't mind this one bit. While she was making time for her academic studies, Lydia also had made much more for the project, working constantly to crack the code of harsh Bulgarian. At the rate they were going- they would have it done by New Year's no problem- five hundred and ninety seven pages to date.

It was also around this time when talk of the holidays began, and all the work Lydia had done to forget about her father and her situation disappeared at the mere mention of Christmas. At dinner when other students would describe their fun planned holidays, she could feel the pain rising in her chest and the aching behind her eyes. But Morrie was always there, giving that happy student a withering remark, and while Lydia knew Morrie was being needlessly cruel, it still made her feel better.

And up until this point, Lydia just assumed she was staying at the school, Morrie by her side.

She was wrong.

It was early one evening when Lydia was studying in the dormitory when Morrie came in, a letter in her hands, "My parents want me to come home."

Lydia looked up, "For Christmas?"

"No, for Chinese New Year- of course Christmas, you dolt."

"So, you're not staying?" Lydia frowned at this.

"Did you not hear me before? My parents want me to go home, and therefore I am going."

"Do you want to go?"

Morrie snorted and looked away, fiddling with her trunk, like she was trying to open it, "What does it matter? I'm going anyway."

"What am I going to do?" Lydia asked.

Morrie looked back to her, "Get on with your life. I'm not going to be here forever."

"I know."

"I'm not so sure you do."

"Whatever," Lydia muttered, turning back to her book, a new sense of dread rising in her. She already knew Remus was going away to visit his family, and had overheard Emmaline and Elle speak of returning home. She would be the only girl left in her dormitory, and probably Ravenclaw Tower.

Lydia was definitely not looking forward to it.

-----

The following week brought many exams, and wrap ups in classes, so there wasn't much work other than studying. Lydia found herself more and more in the library beside Severus. They didn't talk a lot, only the occasional comment about the translation, but it was almost a companionable silence. They had not spoken about the events of Halloween and she was glad for it. Their relationship was strictly professional and it was the nice change from everyone asking her if she was okay, like she was going to collapse.

Then again, most of the time she did feel like she was about to collapse, like the pain was just too much to bear and her legs were ready to buckle beneath her. But she would shove it away. It didn't really happen. She was fine.

She knew she wasn't.

It was a most memorable day in the library however, when the final page of the script was translated by Severus, "Were done," he said, in awe as his tattered quill finally left the page.

"We're done?" Lydia asked, looking up from the papers she was organizing.

"We're done," he stated again, more firmly.

"We're done!" Lydia was ready to jump for joy, and Severus, had he not been so noble, probably would have thought to do that also. She quickly grabbed his last page of translation and worked through the big pile of parchment, putting all their papers in order, "Now, for the easy part. We just have to read it all through, list and diagram all migrations, and hopefully find a pattern by which we can find any giants current location… in there are any more giants."

"There are not," Severus said briskly, taking his half of the stack.

"Well, I know… but why are we doing this then?"

Severus sighed, "Lydia…"

"Yes, yes, I know," she said defeated, "It's a hush hush sort of thing."

"Thank you… now, if you'll kindly give me some of that," he gestured to the papers in her hand, "I'd like to get this done as soon as possible. The holidays are coming up soon."

"Of course," Lydia said, dividing the papers in her hand. She gave him half. Snape took them, quickly jumping into the work, as he put them down on the table in front of him and started reading.

Lydia turned her head to her own stack, looking over across the table to the scripts that lay there. The scripts her father had given her. She could feel her face falling and growing pale, the sudden need to let the tears flow at this mere reminder. How long could she pretend it didn't really happen?

And then, there was a hand over hers. She did not know she had been shaking until the contact. Looking over, she found Severus staring intently at her. She swallowed, and stuttered, "Excuse me, I think I took in some dust or something," she coughed for effect.

Severus just nodded, and remained quiet for a moment, "Lydia?"

"Yes?"

"Mr. Malfoy sent me a letter."

"Yes?"

"He has invited both of us home for the holidays- to present him with the project and such. Well, I was already planning on going, but when he heard of recent events, he thought it might be well if you came along also."

Lydia frowned, "Malfoy Manor, you mean?"

"Yes."

"Won't there be parties and such? I've heard of the Malfoy's Christmas Gala."

"Well, yes, of course, and we'll surely be attending. Why, is there something wrong?"

"It's just-" Lydia began, "I'm not a pureblood."

Snape watched her a moment, before shaking his head, "Lydia, if Mr. Malfoy wants you there, I assure you, you will have no problems."

"Are you sure?"

"Very."

Lydia picked at her thumb nail, "I'll have to think about it."

"Yes, alright… just be aware, at Malfoy Manor, you would not be alone," he added solemnly, before looking back to his work. Lydia stood at still for a moment, then doing the same, still picking at her nails.

-----

The next night, Lydia had told Remus she would go out with him. She had to say she had been neglecting him recently, but she couldn't help it. Always asking if she was alright was a constant grating on her nerves, and therefore, she was not looking forward to tonight.

Remus had told her to wear something warm, so she met him in the Entrance Hall donning her own threadbare black cloak. He smiled upon seeing her, and led her outside, proclaiming a quiet walk along the lake.

And it was quiet, for the most part. They did not talk so much, only when Remus once again asked her how she was feeling, and she gave him a weary reply. At some point he had locked his hand in hers, and huddled close. It was bitter out, that cold crispness in the air due to the regular November weather, so Lydia could not say she minded the warmth he brought with him. There was just something missing.

"So what are you going to due about Christmas?" Remus asked.

Lydia sighed, "Stay here I suppose."

"I hate to see you here alone… I do wish you could come home with me, it's just-"

"Don't worry about it. I would hate to impose on your family like that anyway. It's no big deal, really. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure? Maybe Morrie could take you?"

"No… Morrie's got her own family to take care of. She doesn't need me there to bother her."

"So you're just going to stay here all by yourself?"

"Actually…" Lydia said slowly, "I was invited somewhere."

"Really? Where?"

"The Malfoys asked me if I'd like to spend the holidays at their manor."

Remus looked extremely skeptical, "You're going to Malfoy Manor?"

"Well, I'm thinking about it," Lydia said, her thumb picking at her index nail on her free hand.

"You've got to be kidding."

"No, I'm not. Mr. Malfoy has been very kind to me. It would be an insult if I turned down his invitation."

"And how many times have you meet Mr. Malfoy exactly?"

Lydia looked down, "Once…"

"Once?" Remus exclaimed, "Lydia, are you mad? You barely even know this guy, and you're ready to lock yourself for two weeks in a house with him? That's insane!"

"I won't be alone," she insisted, "Severus is going to."

Remus scoffed, "Oh, yes I would think he'd be behind this."

"What exactly is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, come on Lydia! Snape is a freak! He's practically got the dark mark painted across his forehead!"

"You don't even know him! How could you ever be so sure?"

"Look Lydia," he stopped abruptly, and grabbed her shoulders, making direct, harsh eye contact, "Severus Snape is bad news. I don't want you hanging around him"

"You can't dictate who I chose to spend my time with!"

"I wouldn't have to if you would just open your eyes for once! He's not a good person, and he's just going to hurt you in the end."

"Just because you and your friends have a little tiff with him doesn't mean he's a bad person!"

"You don't know him like I do, Lydia!"

"Oh please, the only way you know him is through the eyes of Sirius Black."

"At least I'm not blind!"

Lydia ripped herself away from his grasp, "You think I'm blind, do you? You think I haven't seen those countless times when you and your posse sought him out, the awful things you did to him? Do you think I'm stupid?"

"Sometimes, YES!"

"If I'm stupid, it's only because I never said anything. I've never lifted one hand against you, or Potter, or Black. That was what was stupid! I shouldn't have let that go on, but I was I thought I was too far on the fringe. I see now what a mistake that was."

"If you're-"

"No, Lupin! I don't want to hear it, okay? Just leave me the hell alone," she said, walking briskly away and up towards the castle, but she could hear Remus jogging up behind her. As he drew close, he grabbed her shoulder, and whirled her around to him, crashing down with a searing kiss. It was hot, filled with encompassed rage, jealousy and anger all in one. His lips tasted bitter on hers, and she struggled to push away, firmly backing from him.

He stepped back, wiping his mouth, an apologetic look already rising on his features. Lydia frowned, "And I was stupid to think we would ever have a chance. Thanks for making up my mind, you bastard," she hissed, fleeing towards the castle once more. This time he did not follow, only watching her with regretful eyes as he continued his walk along the lake.

And when Lydia reached Ravenclaw Tower, the tears rising in her eyes, she opened her trunk, beginning to pack.

-----

A/N- I had a little trouble with this chapter. Believe me, I know what exactly is going to happen later on in the story, it's the filler stuff that kills me. Updates should be getting better, I swear.

Oh man, this is my third snow day in a row! Will the days of wine and roses never end?

I'd like to thank all my fabulous reviewers! I love you guys!

Kerichi- The problems I have with those stupid author alerts! It's a mess. I'm working steadily on Simply Irresistable, have no fear, but beta reading for a friend of mine has kept me from finishing. In time, in time… Don't worry; I swear Snape romance is soon to come. 'Wicked cool' –can you tell I am from Massachusetts or what?

ButterflyOfLothlorien- Yeah for an awesome returning reviewer! Phantom is awesome, and as I've stated before, there is Snape action to come!

Pepper-the-rezo-loves-meg- J Thanks! J

skytten334- I'm glad you like the feeling I put out for the last chapter. It was hard to write. I was sort of trying to put out some feelings I remembered, but I'm not so sure if it worked.

Arg! I need o see that movie! Yeah, I did feel a bit smug with my cleverness on that song. Just kidding. About the "you were warm and gentle," I disagree with you on that, but that's probably just because I am the all knowing author of the story…heh.

Questions:

1) If you are like Morrie does that mean that you too is worried about what kind of influence Snape has on Lydia?

Yes, in many ways I am, just because I am sad and worry about my characters in this way. In this chapter, unfortunately, Morrie takes more after me than ever before. And though her approach to the situation may seem twisted to some people, I understand it completely.

2) How did you come up with the name Lydia Lachlan (I love it)? I am not sure if you you mention this in earlier chapters, but what is Elle´s and Morrie´s last names and do they have any middle or extra last names?

Lydia has always been one of my favorite names, and I thought it fit the character well. It's origins are Greek, later becoming Roman meaning sophisticated, or a cultured lady. Lachlan is actually something I picked up form the books. Lachlan the Lanky is a statue on the seventh floor, and taking liberties, I actually made it the opening to Ravenclaw Tower if anyone can remember chapter six. I know I can't. Elle's full name is Elladora Edgecomb, and you'll notice the last name is a bit familiar. Morrie was actually a tribute to my favorite character in the book, On the Road. Her full name is Fallon Moriarty, but her nickname, Morrie is obviously derived from her last name. If you've been to my livejournal, you'll see my name for it is doctormoriarty. Doctor Moriarty is also my favorite villain from Sherlock Holmes, so the last name has some meaning for me.

DO NOT SEE SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS! Let's just say it was another one of Jude Law's movies this year…

I honestly have no idea who translated the copy I read. It was from the library. Sorry!

I'm pretty sure Jekyll and Hyde is playing there. It is a English musical. I'm from the States though, so I can justify that.

Have no fear! You get a cookie! A very large one at that!

Don't worry, you have no reason to boycott… hehe…

Utterly&freakishlyconfused- Yeah, there were a few questions over that book… I put it in because when my own father died, my grandfather gave it to me. I was im seventh grade, and I don't think I've ever been the same since. When my father died, it was like the world had ended and I didn't have anything to care about- anything I wanted to care about, but when my grandfather gave me Lord of the Rings, and I sat down to read it, it was actually like I did have something to care about. I cared about the characters, what they were going through. I could understand their pain and worry. I would get upset and grow happy over the littlest things. And even though things got grotesquely horrible for the characters, there was always a happy ending on the horizon. I guess in made me see my happy ending. I've wanted to become a writer ever since. Yeah, and that's my reasoning…

Not reading this over…too tired…

Thanks to everyone for reviewing!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! BE LONG AND RAMBLY PLEASE! IT WILL MAKE MY DAY AND GET THE NEXT CHAPTER OUT SOONER!

I'm an awful review whore…


	21. Calling It Quits

**Heaven Sent**

**Chapter Twenty One- Calling It Quits**

-

_He's a serious mister  
Shake his hand and he'll twist your arm  
With monopoly money  
We'll be buying the funny farm  
So I'll do flips,  
And get paid in chips  
From a diamond as big as the Ritz-  
Then I'm calling it quits_

Eyes the color of candy  
Lies to cover the handicap  
Though your slippers are ruby  
You'll be led to the booby trap  
And there's no prize,  
Just a smaller size  
So I'm wearing the shoe til it fits-  
Then I'm calling it quits

Now he's numbering himself among the masterminds  
Cause he's hit upon the leverage of valentines  
Lifting dialogue from Judy Garland storylines  
Where get-tough girls turn into goldmines

But oh, those polaroid babies  
Taking chances with rabies  
Happy to tear me to bits-  
Well, I'm calling it quits  
Yes, I'm calling it quits.

_Calling It Quits_- Aimee Mann

-

As Lydia stepped out of the Entrance Hall, her tattered suitcase in hand, she felt the first snow fall of the year raining down on her nose. It was already getting dark, and the Hogwarts Express was departing in about an hour or so. Wind enraptured her gray cloak as she stood on the step, her blue scarf and thick hair floating like some child was toying with them. The snow was just beginning to accumulate on the ground, and she watched as travel worthy students slid to the next open carriage.

Silently, someone came to stand beside her, looking out at the whiting grounds, "Boo," the black haired witch said dryly, looking neat and sophisticated with her matching outerwear, "Did I scare you?"

"Hello, Morrie," Lydia replied, without even looking over at her friend. The two observed everyone else, quietly for a nice moment.

"I'm worried, you know."

"Morrie, you are never worried."

"Yeah, you're right," Morrie said, "I'm the epitome of calm and collected."

"Except when you're throwing shoes."

"Except when I'm throwing shoes. I'll give you that… Are you going to be alright?"

"Yes, I'm going to be fine."

"I was talking to Remus and-"

"Oh, did he give you anymore reason to distrust my judgment?" Lydia asked innocently, but there was something bitter layered deep within her words. Morrie sighed loudly.

"Yes, and we're plotting against you by the way. Going to lock you in Ravenclaw Tower to make sure you never see that dodgy Slytherin chap of yours again. I probably shouldn't be telling you all this though."

Lydia chuckled, "Dodgy Slytherin chap?"

"Yes," said Morrie, looking shifty, "Snape's dodgy. I mean, the guy doesn't wash his hair. That's pretty dodgy, if you ask me."

"Morrie, that is so shallow…"

"Ah, what can I say? I'm only being honest."

"Sometimes it's better to keep your mouth shut."

"Sometimes it's not."

Lydia remained quiet for a second, "True…"

Morrie scratched the back of her ear, looking directly at Lydia for the first time, "Just take care of yourself, okay?" she said in a tone Lydia could not ever remember hearing from her. It was almost strangled, choking.

"Yeah, okay," Lydia said, not really sure of how to answer. Morrie seemed to accept this.

"I'll- I'll see you later then," Morrie took a step forward, hitting the step below them.

"Yeah, bye," Lydia gave her friend a soft smile to be returned with a short nod. That was all. Morrie simply turned and walked away, heading towards the first carriage near. Even though they would be traveling the same way to London, Lydia doubted they would meet up with each other.

She waited a few more minutes on her own, letting the cold air tinge her pale cheeks a healthy pink. Pulling her scarf up every so often to keep the wind from her ears, she laid her suitcase down to tug on a thin pair of knitted mittens. It was a while before she saw him, wearing a billowing black cloak edged with leather gloves. His dark hair hung lank, too short and probably too greasy to move about much by the breeze. He had his own suitcase, but is seemed much thicker than Lydia's.

"Hello," Severus greeted politely, but he was distracted, busying himself with something in the inside pocket of his cloak. Lydia watched as he fumbled a bit, noticing the condition of the thick wool. It was dirty, and fraying around the ends. It looked as though the clasp had broken off, and he had safety pined it together.

"Hello," she replied, still watching him. He looked out over the carriages.

"We should get going. Look over there-" he pointed at one of the horseless carriages far down the path, "That one looks empty. If not, I'm sure we can find one."

She nodded, "Of course," and made a move to pick up her suitcase, but her beat her to it, his gloved hand grabbing the handle. He held both his suitcase and her own, "I can take that. You needn't worry."

"Nonsense," he said, sending her a glare. Her eyes met the ground for a moment, catching his booted feet as the tromped down the school's steps. She took the initiative to follow, careful not to slip on the icy stone. He trucked through the snow as though it was nothing, even when he had to suitcases to bear, even when he was avoiding the collisions of other students, and even when the path was rough and the cart he was aiming for was one of the farthest away.

Lydia did her best to keep up with him, staying at least two or three steps behind him. He did a good job of clearing the path for her, and she tried to step only where his feet had left prints in the snow. It was a bit complicated with all the students running about, and just the crazy atmosphere of the whole area, but they made it to the destined carriage eventually. It was empty, just as Severus had predicted, and he held the door open for her as she fought to hop inside. Before he got in, Severus placed the luggage on top of the carriage.

When he finally came in and shut the door, he took the seat across from Lydia, gazing at her hands as she picked her nails, "You're nervous."

Lydia, whose focus had been to the window, turned her head to him, "What?"

"You're nervous. You're picking at your nails again."

Lydia stopped her hand activity immediately, pretending to smooth down her cloak. Severus just shook his head at her, before twisting his own body to look out the same window, "The students are starting to clear out. We should be moving soon."

She nodded, glad for this. That carriage was not exactly the warmest place. Suddenly, they lurched forward, catching both Severus and Lydia off guard. They grabbed onto their seats for a moment, striving to balance for a moment, then meeting in their cushions with a companionable silence.

"Have you ever been to Malfoy Manor?" Lydia asked, still looking out to the passing scenery. Severus cleared his throat.

"Yes, I have. In fact, I've spent most of my holidays there since my third year."

"So, you've known Mr. Malfoy a long time, then?"

"Well, yes. I first met him our first year at the school. He was head boy, if you remember?" Lydia nodded to this, "I knew of him, and apparently he knew of me. He helped me get my hands dirty here, and once he was graduated and married, he began inviting me to his home for the holidays."

"You're friends, aren't you?"

Severus looked doubtful for a second, but just a brief second, "Yes, Lucius is a good friend of mine. I believe when you get to know him better, you will also be good friends."

"I hope so," Lydia said, her tone hinting at the want for quiet. And it did grow quiet, the silence letting her hear the creaking of wooden wheels along the snow, wet and slippery. She looked back out the window, knowing he was watching her. She could feel his eyes burning into her, like she could bring her hand to her cheek and there would be two gaping marks there, scorched black like his own eyes.

Hogsmeade grew closer and closer, the carriage finally arriving at the village limits. They took one final halt, stopping. Severus made the first move, getting out and taking the suitcases down. Lydia jumped down, her boots crunching the fresh snow. Closing the carriage door behind her, the pair started in the direction of the station, other students joining in the plight.

Severus and Lydia were two of the people on the platform, and made it on to the train easily enough. Lydia followed the Slytherin as he moved back down the corridor, finding most of the compartments empty, but taking one of the farthest away as there on. Severus went in first, stacking the suitcases in the overhead compartment, and claiming the left hand seat his own. Lydia took the chair across.

Severus immediately started to do his own thing, taking out a rather large book called, Healing Draughts and the Nature from Which They Arise. Having nothing better to do seeing as Severus looked at no time ready to make conversation, she reached up to her own suitcase muddling around for a bit. She took down a good sized leather bound book- the book given to her by Dumbledore, and opened it to the first page.

_'In a hole in the ground, there lived a hobbit…'_

-

The ride was a long one to London, and it had given Lydia plenty of time to loose herself in the first story, There and Back Again. She was so absorbed; she did not notice Severus's fall to sleep, or the mountainous scenery turning outside the window. Not even the opening of the compartments latch.

"Lydia?" Someone whispered. She quickly dropped her book open on her lap, and looked over to the doorway. The slider was only open a crack, but there was a head sticking in- a certain shaggy haired head.

"Remus?" Lydia hissed, subconsciously looking over a Severus, "What do you want?"

"I need to talk to you."

Lydia scowled, "I think we talked enough," and turned back to her book.

"Lydia, please!"

"Go away, Remus," she said, trying to concentrate on the book.

"Just give me two minutes- anything, I don't care. Please, Lydia, we need to talk."

"Go away, Remus," she repeated firmly.

"I was an idiot! You have to let me make it up to you!"

So, he was admitting it. What he did-the fight, and the unwanted kiss was something she could have easily expected from James Potter or Sirius Black, but Remus? Remus Lupin, the nicest, most down to Earth guy she knew with a great sense of humour, and the sweetest pair of puppy dog eyes? That Remus? She knew there was more to him, and he wasn't telling her about it.

And she guessed that kind of bit- that there was something she knew he wasn't telling her. She had suspected it since that walk around the lake. And you know, maybe she didn't want to be with someone who didn't tell her what was going on- and- and maybe she didn't have to be with someone just because they liked her. Come to think of it, she never really had any true feelings for Remus. It was just that flattery of having someone fancy her. She had convinced herself that she did like him, and look where it ended up.

It ended here, with Remus peeking his head through her compartment, and it ended with her telling him to leave. Because, really, Lydia didn't care if he left. She didn't care if it was over. It was never serious anyway, or at least it hadn't been to her. I mean, she had always been the first to claim he was not her boyfriend. And maybe it meant more to him. Maybe he really liked her- loved her, even though she doubted it. They barely knew each other, and at that moment, Lydia decided she would like to keep it that way.

"It's over, Remus."

"Wait- what?"

"Go away before I wake Severus."

"Lydia-"

"Go away," she ended it, not fiercely or harshly, but wearily and decided. Remus looked down, his jaw setting, but said nothing.

"Okay," was all he said before he was gone. He left just as quietly as he came, shutting the compartment door behind him. Lydia watched the closed latch for a while, but eventually shaking her head. She turned back to Bilbo, and Gollum without another thought on the matter.

-

Lydia would have to admit she was a bit disappointed when the train came to a screeching halt, and the panorama of Platform 9 ¾ was glaring at her through the window. She sighed, shutting her book (though making sure to remember her page). The battle of Five Armies was just taking place, and she hated to see it interrupted.

Severus had been shaken at the sudden movement, and was now coming back to consciousness. His groggy black eyes flicking across the compartment until they fell on her, "Are we in London already?"

"Yes."

He nodded, standing up and stretching lightly. Lydia did the same, stuffing her book in a cloak pocket. Grabbing the suitcases, Severus headed out the compartment, Lydia once again following as they dropped down to the platform, carpeted with a light snow.

"He should be here…" Severus murmured to himself as he scanned the crowds. Numerous families were rejoining, meeting up again in the small area. Mothers were coddling there newly returned children and fathers were giving them firm, but caring pats on the back. Lydia frowned, wishing for a moment that she had her own family to return home to… but no. She could not think of that. She quickly pushed the idea from her head, trailing behind Severus.

"There he is," he said, looking back to her. And she could see him up ahead, tall in his top rung dragonhide boots, his thick green cloak long and noble, the blonde hair streaming down his back, and the piercing gray eyes that held so much warmth, and yet so little. In that way, Lucius Malfoy reminded Lydia of her own father, and she would always remember him that way- straight and intimidating in the glasslike snow looking greater and mightier than anyone she had ever seen.

"Lucius," Severus greeted, placing the suitcases on the ground. Mr. Malfoy shook hands with him.

"Severus, how are you, and Miss Lachlan! You look too well. It seems the duckling has finally become a swan," Mr. Malfoy gave Lydia one of his twisted grins, causing the girl to blush. She wasn't used to such flattery, especially when it came from a person like Lucius Malfoy.

"Thank you, Mr. Malfoy," she managed to push out. She was a bit distressed for a moment when the blonde man gave her a disapproving look.

"Please, dear lady, I beg of you, call me Lucius."

"Of course… only if you call me Lydia," she added.

"It's a deal,_ Lydia_," he said, putting a great emphasis on her name, almost like a hissing snake, "Come on then, Derby get their things."

A house elf Lydia had not noticed before popped out from behind Mr. Malfoy's coat, scurrying to grab the luggage. Lydia frowned. She **hated** house elves.

"Alright, I have a carriage set up to bring us to the Minisrty, and we can Portkey from there? Sound good?" He barely looked at them before continuing, "Good, come on now." He said, starting to walk in the direction of the famous barrier.

Lydia braced herself, preparing for whatever the next few weeks and Malfoy Manor would bring…

-

A/N- Yeah, another chapter! I just realized I reached past twenty! I am so excited.

By the way, I love Aimee Mann. Her lyrics are wonderful.

And now, to thank my wonderful reviewers!

Kerichi- Hey, I love Remus, I really do, but there had to be a conflict. You do want to see Lydia and Snape together, am I right? I did like the kid who played Klaus, actually all the kids. Maybe it's my hatred for Jim Carrey that affected my judgement. Have no fear, I've no Boston accent. From the South Shore I am. Basically, the yupsters but oh well…

risi- Glad to see you back! I really would answer your questions, I would! But I would give way too much away. Gah! I must see Phantom!

lhuntathraeil- Glad you liked it.

Madelynn Rae- I did love the books, but once again, I can't stand Jim Carrey. He's a pet peeve.

Biscuits the Gnome- Begging and flattery will get you everywhere. ;)

skytten334- Lydia picks her nail subconsciously. She gets nervous, and I can't say if your speculations are right or worng. Sorry! Ah… The Village, I have a funny story about that movie, but I tell it… Yeah, I've got some background on Lydia's father so… and glad you understand Morrie. I was a bit nervous how people would react to that. I'm also glad you liked the Lydia/Remus bit. I felt it was needed. I know Remus is a good guy, but he makes mistakes just like everyone else, and that was what I was trying to portray. Also trying to show that Lydia makes mistakes too.

I have put so much time into thinking out my Malfoy, so I hope you like him. I'm just so sick of this mean Draco abusing character that everyone puts out. There is more there, and he's one of my favorite characters to write, so I very excited about the next few chapters.

There will be dancing.

An Anti-Sheep Cheese Muffin- What can I say? I just love you.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! I BEG I GROVEL I IMPLORE! PLEASE REVIEW AND BE SURE TO MAKE IT LONG AND RAMBLY! I LOVE RAMBLY!

I really am awful…


	22. The Whole of the Law

**Heaven Sent**

**Chapter Twenty Two- The Whole of the Law**

-

_Well, I used to have the notion I could swim the length of the ocean_

_If I knew that you were waiting for me_

_I used to have the notion _

_I could swim the length of the ocean_

_I'd plumb the depths of every sea for you_

_I'd escape from my chains, and I'll reach out for you_

_Maybe I'm in love with you_

_Maybe, maybe I'm in love with you_

_I had to contact you, found out I was in love with you_

_I __had to contact_

_That's it, that's the law, that's the whole of the law_

_The whole of the law_

_The Whole of the Law_- Yo La Tengo

-

"Welcome to Malfoy Manor," It was the deep, profound voice of Mr. Malfoy that Lydia heard first, still opening her eyes after landing unceremoniously on the floor from the portkey. The first thing she saw was marble, dark like obsidian, and reflecting like a mirror. Slowly standing up, her pupils dashed around the huge hall into which they had arrived.

Great pillars stood around her, carved with intricate creatures and inlaid with mother of pearl. What windows there were in the room were tall and long, the panes in obscure sizes and shapes. In front of her were two great iron doors, molded in a scene of snakes forming the letter 'M'. Looking up, one could not see the ceiling, only a dark chasm framed by numerous balconies running up.

"Ah, Lucius I was wondering when you were going to return," The dignified tone came calm, and rolling like a smooth ocean wave from behind. Lydia turned around to see the owner. There on the elaborate staircase stood the most beautiful woman Lydia had ever seen.

Standing straight and tall, the woman's silvery golden hair fell down her back, framing her stately features. High cheekbones profiled her bright blue eyes, and her sharp nose rose above full lips. She was wearing a black sweater and sleek wool trousers. A simple silver locket hung around her neck.

"Cissa, darling," Mr. Malfoy came forward to plant a short kiss on the woman's cheek, taking her arm and leading her down, "This is Lydia Lachlan. I don't believe you two have met before."

"No, I'm afraid we haven't," she purred, "I'm Narcissa. It's a pleasure to meet you Lydia- may I call you Lydia?"

"Of course, ma'am."

"Oh, please, please! Stop with these dreadful formalities! You are our guest." Narcissa gave a thin lipped smile, before casting her gaze to the black haired boy across the room, "And Severus!" she exclaimed, gliding over and putting a delicate hand on his arm, "Growing into a fine man, I see. You look just like your father."

Severus frowned, "So I'm told."

Narcissa paused a moment, her expression Lydia could not see. She turned, back with another tight smile, "We're having quite the dinner tonight. I hope you don't mind lobster?"

"Oh no, not at all. Lobster's wonderful." Lydia had not actually ever had lobster before.

"Oh good! I was so afraid that it would be a problem, and I just wanted tonight to be perfect."

"Don't mind her," Lucius said to Lydia, "She never has girlfriends staying over and she's taking full advantage of the situation."

Narcissa looked oddly at Lucius, "Well, I can't seem to help myself."

"You never can."

"Hmm… I suppose you two are tired from your trip? I might have Derby lead you right up to your rooms before dinner to clean up. Does that sound alright?

"That's fine," Severus replied.

"Oh, good- Derby!"

The same house elf that had traveled with them popped out from nowhere. Lydia noticed this time around that he was wearing what looked like a blue plastic trash bag in the style of a toga.

"Derby shows the good guests right this way. Right this way!"

"Now, wait a minute, Derby!" Narcissa scolded, "Lydia, will you be needing anything to wear to dinner?"

"Are we going out?"

"Oh, no, we're staying in, it's just-"

Severus cut in, "Yes, she'll be needing something."

Lydia looked over at him with a questioning expression. He glanced at her for a moment, mouthing something to her, "_Trust me."_

"Yes, I will need something- if it's not too much trouble?"

"Oh no! Not at all! You look about my size- some simple charms can fix anything else. Why not after you settle in, you come down to my quarters and we can get ready together?"

"That sounds good."

"Excellent- just ring the service bell and house elf will be right up to bring you there. Think you can manage?" Narcissa smiled gaily.

"Yes, I think so."

"Good- and Severus, you'll be staying in your usual room."

"Perfect."

"Good then, Derby?"

"Yes, Missus Malfoy?" The house elf squeaked.

"Take these two to their rooms," she ordered firmly, then looking up to smile at the two guests, "I'll see you two soon then."

Severus and Lydia thanked the couple before following the quiet elf up the grand staircase. They came to numerous landings and levels. Looking over the balcony railing, Lydia could barely see the first floor. When they finally made it to the correct rooms, Lydia found she would be staying across from Severus, who immediately disappeared into his quarters. The house elf had already seemed to disappear, so our heroine stepped in her rooms alone.

It was perfect- large and spacious in velvety purples. Lydia could not remember seeing furniture so extravagant, but then again this was Malfoy Manor. What else would she expect? The greatest thing to catch her eye was definitely the huge canopy bed, a vision of carved mahogany topped with purple silk. Dropping her cloak on the nearest chair she did probably the most childish thing from her in a long time. With a running start, she pounced on the bed, sinking into the feathery mattress with a sigh.

She could definitely get used to this.

Turning her head, she the open wardrobe already packed with her belongings. She assumed it was a house elf- an awfully quick house elf. She _had_ just arrived. Getting up she scanned over the clothes she had brought with a frown. Nothing would uphold to the standards set by Mrs. Malfoy's simple outfit earlier. Best to find the house elf.

The search for the servant's bell was not long. She found it near a bookshelf on the far wall. She made note to look the old tomes over after dinner. It was not long after she had rung Derby appeared quite enthusiastically. After a quick greeting, he led her up a few more levels to Narcissa's room. Lydia knocked on the tall door.

"Come in," came a muffled reply. Lydia obliged and opened the door.

The room was huge, done in French blues and creams. Sitting at a neat vanity was the house mistress, a blue silk dress robe hanging over her shoulder. She turned around at the click of the door latch.

"Ah, Lydia! There you are! Still need an outfit?"

"Yes, in fact I do. I'm afraid my wardrobe isn't exactly up to par," Lydia mumbled. Narcissa looked at her with a smirk.

"Well, we'll just have to change that now, won't we? I'm sure I can arrange a sort of girl's day out tomorrow. Paris, perhaps- or New York. What do you think?"

"Oh, Mrs. Malfoy, you don't have to do that for me, really."

"Posh! I'll be damned if I don't have you looking your best by tomorrow evening. Shopping is my art, you know? And stop that with the Missus nonsense. You're making me feel dreadfully old."

"I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize, dearest. Just don't let it happen again." Narcissa gave a bright smile and stood, "Now let's get you cleaned up. Come over here."

The blonde woman went over to a huge ivory wardrobe, Lydia following close behind. She flung open the carved doors to an array of different colors and fabrics, "Now let's see… we want something formal, but not extravagant. How do you feel about a skirt?"

"I wear one almost everyday."

"Oh, right, uniform. So that's fine-" she started shifting through the clothing, biting her lip in uncanny concentration, "Ah, here were are!" She pulled out a stiff black skirt with small white polka dots and held it over Lydia's leg, "What do you think?"

Lydia had no idea what to say. She really knew nothing about clothes. This was Morrie and Elle's area of expertise, "I like it."

Narcissa smiled again, "Oh, good! I think it will look just smashing on you. You have the legs to carry it off, I do believe." Lydia had the dignity to blush at this, "Now, a top. I think I have just the thing. Here hold this." She handed Lydia the skirt and once more her hands frolicked between the numerous textures and articles. It wasn't long before she pulled out a plain black shirt and held it up to Lydia, "Perfect… Why don't you go change behind the screen over there, and I'll take the bathroom."

"Alright."

"Good, I'll be right out." Narcissa picked up a pile of folded clothes off her bed and hurried to a door at the other side of the room. Once the blonde had disappeared, Lydia moved behind the tall oriental screen Narcissa had directed her to. Lydia felt like she was in some old movie as she changed and threw her used clothes on top of the screen. Finished, she stepped out and looked in the mirror.

Lydia smiled to herself. She definitely liked what she saw. The skirt just reached her knees, and the shirt- instead of making her shoulders look large and bulky- showed them off with a dipped neckline ending in a V. The sleeves met a bit below her elbows. All together, she felt very sophisticated. Not in the same way when Elle or Morrie had done her up. Then she just felt in style by the Hogwarts styles, fitting in with the trends. But now, she felt classy- very classy.

"Oh, good, it fits!" Narcissa exclaimed upon entering the room, "Do you like it?"

Lydia smiled, "Very much so. Thank you."

"Oh, I'm so glad. You look amazing in it. Keep it, will you."

"I couldn't, honestly-"

"Nonsense. I'll never wear it, and it looks perfect on you. Why let it go to waste. Keep it as somewhat of a welcoming present."

"Narcissa-"

"I insist! You'd be offending me greatly if you didn't keep it. It's yours."

"Thank you," Lydia stuttered with sincerity. Narcissa gave another of her dazzling smiles.

"Don't mention it, dear… now what time is it? Six fifteenish, I'd say. Enough time for hair and make up yet. Here, why don't you sit down over at the vanity and I'll start up on your hair."

"Alright," Lydia said, sitting in the chair as Narcissa fumbled through a drawer for supplies. She came over with a great handful of pins and elastics. Dropping them on the vanity, she began to brush out Lydia's hair.

"So tell me, is there a man perhaps in your life?" Narcissa said with a hint of girlish mischief. It took all Lydia had not to groan.

"No, not now."

"In the past?"

"Well… yes, if you call this morning the past."

"Really? A recent break up?"

"Yes."

"Who was he?"

"Oh, nobody really important. Just this guy who liked me. We sort of went out, but it wasn't really working," Lydia explained.

"You didn't like him though."

"No, I didn't. Not in that way."

"Well, that's easy to see. It's obvious you have a thing for Severus."

"Yeah- wait- what!"

"It's obvious you have a thing for Severus?" Narcissa repeated.

"I don't have a thing for Severus!" Lydia said, alarmed, "What would ever make you think that?"

"Just the way things carry between the two of you- a woman knows."

"But you only saw us together for ten minutes!"

"And that's enough time to know. He likes you too, by the way."

"What? That's absurd!" Lydia said.

"No it's not," said Narcissa, "I mean, look at the way he watches you, or how he always lets you go first. He's always looking after you, even if you're not noticing it."

"No, I'm not noticing it, because it's not happening," Lydia said stubbornly. Narcissa only laughed.

"What about that little moment between you downstairs- the '_trust me'_ bit. Explain that, dear."

"He was only making sure I didn't look like a fool. It was common courtesy."

"I assure my dear, it was not common courtesy. Severus shows no common courtesy to anyone. If the back half of my dressed ripped off at a party and I was unaware, he'd be the last person to inform me. Severus simply doesn't care about people like that. He'd rather they make a fool of themselves then he do it himself. What he did down there was very out of character."

"I- It's just because we are friends."

"Friends? My dear, Slytherins don't have friends, and Severus is a perfect example of that. If you two are friends, then you are surely something more too."

"Well, Severus has friends," Lydia lied receiving a knowing look from Narcissa.

"Lydia, there's no fooling me about such matters. I've known Severus for a very long time- since my Hogwarts days. He's not one to have friends."

"What about Mr. Malfoy?"

"Lucius… well, Lucius I suppose is an exception, but not by much. Lucius would have nothing to do with Severus if it weren't for his talent. I mean, you know Severus- he isn't exactly the classiest of boys. Any manners he had now are derived perfectly from my husband and myself. He was much worse when he was younger."

"Worse?"

"Yes… He was never a well mannered boy, but I suppose that has a lot to do with his upbringing…Severus by all means comes from a pureblood family, but the Snapes have fallen a great deal from their days of glory. Octavian, Severus's father, was a drunk, still is I suppose. He was merciless to Severus and his mother during those early years. But while Severus came out alive and stronger for it, Ophelia, his mother, on the other hand, did not. Supposedly she died in accident, fell down their mansions grand staircase. We, of course, know better."

"That's horrible," Lydia murmured, horrified. To think she had sulked over her own lifestyle, when Severus had to deal with this terrible past. How could she have been so selfish? "How old was he?"

"Severus? Probably around seven or eight at the time… It really is a pity. Ophelia was such a beautiful person. She was very good friends with my mother and she used to come over and visit sometimes. She had this queer accent- Russian, I believe and I loved to hear her speak. She spoke with such eloquence- something I am sure Severus had inherited. Gorgeous too… sleek blue black hair and those doe black eyes. A shame Severus couldn't have picked up more of her features. I'm afraid he received Octavian's dreadful nose… but he's a handsome man, or he would be, if he took better care of himself."

"Hmm…" was all Lydia could manage, her mind teaming over the new information. She knew there was more to Severus Snape, and she would uncover it…

"Ophelia's death affected him. From what I've heard, he holed himself up- books, old scrolls. Severus had two loves- his mother and knowledge. When his mother died, the latter consumed him. It's like a thirst that needs to be replenished for him, and he does anything to remove the people in his way of the watering can… you're the first person I know of who he hasn't pushed away… well, except Lucius and myself, but I really forced myself on the poor boy. I believe he hated me for a point." Narcissa gave a quick laugh before continuing, "He likes you, Lydia, as far fetched as it seems. And from what I've seen, maybe it's mutual. Don't let it pass you by."

Lydia remained silent, thinking over the new things Narcissa had just told her. Maybe this was a wake up call for all the things she shared with the odd boy- hours of research, intellectual conversations, comforting sessions when she got out of control, the companionable silences… She knew it was more than she ever labeled it to be…

"Don't worry, Narcissa… I won't."

-

A/N- AHHHH! I am so sorry! Gah! I'm afraid there really is no excuse, but I am going to state some any way. I'm in two plays right now- it's crazy, finishing up schoolwork for vacation, new term, and bronchitis. It's been awful. I swear this will never ever happen again!

Thank to all my wonderful reviewers! I hope you stick with me even after this awful break of mine.

lhuntathraeil- The house elf bit is from chapter fifteen. Sorry about not updating!

Madelynn Rae- Estranged Jim Carrey cousin? That's awesome! Heh… well, I liked him in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, but other times, he's just too obnoxious.

skytten- Have I mentioned that I LOVE you? Your reviews just brighten my day and lift up my horribly low confidence! Because I have no life, I'm so going to comment on your list, because it makes me feel special…heh… I'm such a loser.

I'm so glad to see that I keep you interested! Have no fear, Snape's going to appearing a lot more. When I started this fic, I really didn't mean to have it be so focused on Lydia, but when I got deeper in, I realized there needed to be that mystery around Snape for a while- which turned out to be too long a while. I don't know about Draco and Snape… there definitely is something more there we don't know about… I loathe Snape makeovers- glad to hear I'm keeping it real. Ah… Remus. There's been a bit of controversy over my portrayal of him. I have to say, I agree with you completely. Remus is not perfect and never will be. I wanted to show that. Swearing in wizardesque is awesome, although Morrie has been known to throw out the F bomb. I originally got the idea from a Lord of the Rings fanficiton that always used 'Varda' or 'Manwe' for swearing. Yay! I'm so happy you like my approach on the whole romance thing! I was a bit afraid about my whole deal at first because everyone else has these stories, like you said, where Snape is like, "Oh, she's pretty and smart and perfect. I hate all women but like her." And then he pounces or she pounces. And I would be sitting there reading them like, "Wait… that's not right." Grr… Mauraders… Snape's Worst Memory- I must admit I cried. I'm am so glad you like the OCs! Lydia, I really feel, is a person who I wanted to be for so long, but wasn't. She's too studious and quiet I guess. She's really based off one of my good friends, who recently snagged the guy of her dreams (who is actually nothing like Snape, but more of a nice Sirius Black). Morrie was originally supposed to be more like Emmaline, but that never worked out. She instead became the embodiment of me in far too many ways for even Morrie feels like she should be more like Lydia, but isn't and never will be. Elle was never supposed to turn out the twit she is. She was based of a friend of mine who ended up being a twit anyway. It's amazing how you write something and then it comes true. Oh, the infamous chapter 16 line… hehe. The mystery is actually something I'm rather proud of. Oh man, I've been so bad about this last update. Forgive me? Haha, I should start being a better reviewer because Merlin knows my spelling is atrocious. 

Ho-hos? If I'm getting the right idea, they're a type of hostess snacks. They're logs of chocolate cake filled with cream and covered in chocolate. Rather good actually.

Glad to hear you like Malfoy. I really wanted to try a different approach with him. Hey, I finally saw Phantom of the Opera! It was wonderful! I can totally see why you love Gerard Butler. I'll stick with the David Wenham though. He is a god! Hehe… I'm such a loser. I'm afraid I'm still a bigger fan of the theater version. There's something about dressing up and trucking into the city that makes me feel special. I'll try to fix up that mistake… if I can figure the edit thing out.

P.S. Edgecomb as in Marietta Edgecomb from Order of the Phoenix. She was Cho Chang's best friend who sold Dumbledore's Army out. AKA the Sneek.

P.P.S. We might meet one of Snape's parents…

Whoa… that was long. Forgive any spelling mishaps.

Biscuits the Gnome- Remus? You can have him. Hehe… there will be fluff. Mwhahaha- cough- hack- ha

Nonymoose-Hey thanks! Don't tell anyone though about the migrations… it's a secret! Heh.

Odie- Always glad to see another person following along, even if it takes me not updating for a super long time. Don't worry! It won't happen again! Wasn't eaten by evil trashcans but chaotic neutral paper bags are always a problem. Yum… Bagel Bites… now I'm hungry.

Not reading this over…

Hey, check out Yo La Tengo! They are awesome. I'm thinking of compiling a soundtrack for this story to be ready when it's all done. What do you think?

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed! I promise to update sooner now I'm on vacation! So…

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GIVE ME SOME LONG RAMBLY REVIEWS TO MAKE MY DAY AND GET ME WRITING FASTER OR EVEN GIVE ME A SHOUT OUT THAT YOU'RE STILL ALIVE AND READING! BABBLING IS STILL GOOD THOUGH! PLEASE REVIEW!

It's official… I'm off the racket…


	23. Something I Can Never Have

**Heaven Sent**

**Chapter Twenty Three- Something I Can Never Have**

_(break)_

_I still recall the taste of my tears.  
Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears.  
My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore.  
Scraping through my head 'till I don't want to sleep anymore. _

Come on tell me.  
Make this all go away.  
You make this all go away.  
I'm down to just one thing.  
And I'm starting to scare myself.  
Make this all go away.  
You make this all go way.

I just want something.  
I just want something I can never have

You always were the one to show me how  
Back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now.  
This is slowly take me apart.  
Grey would be the color if I had a heart.  
I just want something I can never have.  
In this place it seems like such a same.  
Though it all looks different now,  
I know it's still the same  
Everywhere I look you're all I see.  
Just a fading fucking reminder of who I used to be.

Come on tell me.  
Make this all go away.  
You make this all go away.  
I'm down to just one thing.  
And I'm starting to scare myself.  
Make this all go away.  
You make this all go way.

I just want something.  
I just want something I can never have  
I just want something I can never have  
Think I know what you meant.  
That night on my bed.  
Still picking at this scab  
I wish you were dead.  
You sweet and perry ellis.  
Just stains on my sheets.

_Something I Can Never Have_- Nine Inch Nails

_(break)_

Lydia and Narcissa walked together down the staircase on their way to dinner. After her getting ready with the blonde, Lydia felt extremely confident about her appearance. The outfit fit her perfectly, her hair was finally tamed in a sophisticated twirl, and a few charms for her face left her skin looking fresh and renewed. The new look, she had to admit, was a bit of an ego boost.

Though they had just met, Lydia was very fond of Narcissa. The woman reminded her vaguely of what an older sister was supposed to be. She was friendly and girlish under that exterior of nobility and class. Lydia liked that.

What she did not like, however, was the last topic of conversation they shared together- Severus. Suddenly, Lydia's mind was reeling with all sorts of possibilities and mixed emotions. Severus had always been a sort of gray area with her. Were they friends? Mere acquaintances? Something more? And when Narcissa had brought up the chance of Lydia actually having feelings for the boy in a romantic sense, Lydia could not truly bring herself to deny it. She was too unsure.

On one hand, Severus could be rather unpleasant. Not only was he impossibly rude, he had a habit being extremely antisocial. The reputation he called his own was not exactly clear either. People knew him for his excel in the Dark Arts, not for the sheer intelligence that he had captured.

Of course, Lydia knew that everyone else was wrong. Severus was not evil, merely knowledgeable…? He was probably the smartest person she had ever come across and she respected him for it- maybe even fancied him for it? Then again, how could she not? Severus, no matter how rude and arrogant he could be, was the only person she had ever managed to have a full out intellectual conversation with. And she liked that- really liked that.

And sure, he wasn't the handsomest of guys. That was a title more centered towards Remus, and look how things had ended up with Remus. So what if he wasn't the best looking person? Lydia certainly wasn't the best looking girl. She shouldn't be saying anything. Of course, one couldn't forget those looks he gave her- like he was shifting through her very existence with his black eyes.

A blush rose upon her face at the thought.

"I've given you something to think about, haven't I?" Narcissa broke her from the rampage of thoughts with a knowing smile. This caused Lydia turn even redder. Mentally, she scolded her awful reactions. She was usually not one to blush.

"I'm afraid you have," Lydia murmured. _Now I just don't know how I'm going to act around him… _

"You're worried."

"A little," Lydia admitted.

"You shouldn't be. Just act normal."

She sighed, "I don't know how I can now…"

"Oh, it was just like this with Lucius," The blonde reminisced, "When had been betrothed a long time, and before then I had merely thought of him as an acquaintance- a friend maybe. When I started to fancy him, I wasn't sure how I should act. Do I tell him? Does he have the same feelings for me? It was very hard."

"What did you do?"

Narcissa remained quiet, looking away, "Nothing," she said quietly, "I never told him."

"But he must know?"

Narcissa gave a sad smile, "Honestly, I don't think so, dear."

Lydia could not belief that. The way Narcissa spoke so highly of Lucius- it was obvious she was in love with him. How could he not know? How could she not have told him?

"Are you ever going to tell him?"

"Oh, dear, it's far too late for that now," she said with a dismissive laugh.

"But- but you love him."

"Well… yes, I do. Very much," she said solemnly, "But I think it's better he doesn't know… now. Maybe if I told him back then… Oh, it doesn't matter."

Lydia had no idea what to say. Looking at the blonde woman she had grown fond of she could she the pain stretched across her features. She was trying to hide it with a fake smile. Lydia knew better.

"I'm sorry," Lydia mumbled.

"Sorry? Whatever for? Don't ever be sorry," the blonde scolded, "The strong are always confident of their actions. Only the weak apologize. Salazar, no don't be sorry."

Lydia's first reaction was to apologize but quickly shut her mouth and nodded, looking down to the ground.

Narcissa stopped walking abruptly and grabbed hold of Lydia's shoulders. Lydia could see the tears rising in her bright blue eyes- eyes like ice that were finally melting under her gaze.

"Lydia, I tell you these things in hope that I can help you in some way. I have made far too many mistakes in my short lifetime- mistakes that I am _sorry_ for. Though hard to believe, I see so much of myself in you- too much. Do not let things pass you by. Do not be sorry. Please, don't not be sorry."

Lydia held her gaze, horrified and worried by the outburst. She was not looking at a twenty something year old woman. She was looking at someone much older, much more pained, much emptier. It scared her.

Abruptly, Narcissa dropped her arms and turned away. Lydia stared at her profile, looking colder and more impassive than ever. Where was the girlish woman she had talked with before? All she saw now was pain- pain she never wanted to experience.

"Come, Lydia, we best make hast. At this rate, we'll be late." Lydia could tell by her tone that this discussion was not to be brought up again. She felt slightly disappointed at this. Though Narcissa's hurt and worry had scared her, Lydia could not say she was not curious.

Hurriedly, the two made their way downstairs in a much colder silence than before.

_(break)_

"Ah, I was beginning to think we'd have to send out the search party!" Lucius commented on Lydia and Narcissa's arrival in the dinning hall. The room itself was extremely narrow, accommodating the lengthy, slim table the rested in it. Lucius sat at its head, Severus to his right.

Involuntarily, Lydia's eyes went straight to Severus, who she was surprised to find was also looking back at her. His expression, however, revealed nothing. It was a look Lydia had grown to recognize from him. Breaking the gaze, she looked down to her nails, willing herself not to pick at them.

"Please excuse us," she heard Narcissa say, "Lydia and I had a bit of trouble altering her outfit."

"I assume things worked out though?" Lucius said, looking pointedly at Lydia.

"O f course they did," Narcissa began to walk towards the other end of the room where the two men were seated. Lydia followed, "Doesn't she look marvelous?" Narcissa gestured to Lydia as she sat down on Lucius's left, across from Severus. Lydia, finding a table setting in the seat next to Narcissa, took it as her own and sat.

"Indeed she does," said Lucius, flashing one of his charming smiles, "Doesn't she, Severus?"

Severus, who had remained silent up until this point, looked at her across the table, "Marvelous, yes," he murmured, almost dismissively and turning back to Lucius, "As you were saying?"

"Ah, yes, the Brocklehursts I'm afraid, are not fond of the idea…" Lucius and Severus jumped into a series of conversations of names and places Lydia did not know or recognize. She figured it was an exclusive discussion anyway. When dinner arrived, she was glad. Unsure of how each utensil worked, she copied Narcissa. She thanked Rowena the lobster was already opened for her, as she had no idea how one cracks a lobster shell properly.

The rest of dinner passed quickly and uneventfully. The food was magnificent (Lydia had taken quite the liking to lobster), but the company she had to admit, was a bore. Certainly, she enjoyed her time spent with Narcissa alone, but in the stuffy atmosphere of dinner, it was quite the drag.

Lucius and Severus excused themselves, intending to visit Lucius's study. Tired from the journey, Lydia decided to retire early. Narcissa offered to walk her to her room, and Lydia gratefully accepted. This house-no manor was still a loss to her.

"Oh drat," Narcissa said as they approached Lydia's quarters, "The Brocklehursts…"

"What is it?" Lydia asked.

"I promised Lucius I would visit Avera Brocklehurst tomorrow. I'm afraid we'll have to postpone our outing. You don't mind, do you?"

"Oh no, not at all."

"Honestly, I really don't want to go, but it's necessary-"

"Narcissa, I understand. This meeting is obviously important."

"It is, but I feel awful about leaving you here all day. Lucius is bound to be gone and the thought of you bored to death in this old house."

"Please, don't worry about it," Lydia insisted, "I'll be fine. I'm sure I can find something to do with myself."

"Severus will be here. I'm sure he can show you around. Who knows, maybe…"

Lydia sighed, "I doubt it…"

"I'm sorry for confusing you," Narcissa said with a sad smile, "But I'm sure things will work out in time."

"Yeah…" They had reached Lydia's door, falling into silence. There was an awkward moment before Narcissa spoke again.

"Well, I better be off. I'm sure you're tired."

"I cannot deny that," Lydia said with a smile, "Thank you, Narcissa."

"Oh no, Lydia, thank you."

Lydia did not really understand what Narcissa meant by that, but kept the comment in mind.

"Well, good night."

"Good night Lydia," said Narcissa, "May Merlin be with you." With that, the blonde woman turned and walked back down the hallway.

Lydia waited a moment before entering her rooms. There was still some childish excitement about staying in such an extravagant suite. She quickly threw on her graying nightdress, and flopped onto the bed. Being so tired, normally, she would have fallen right asleep, but thoughts of a tomorrow kept her awake. A whole day with Severus… what was she going to do?

_(break)_

A/N- Yes, I know it's short, but I felt it necessary to break it off here. Sorry! Hey, it was out a bit faster than last time. I'm getting better, eh?

On the page breaks aren't working so I had to put in that nice blantant (_break)._ Great isn't it?

About the song, I'm not really a Nine Inch Nails person, but this song sort of helped me through the chapter. I'm afraid my muses are currently on vacation, and I've been having a hard time with writing this lately. It actually applies more to Narcissa than Lydia or Severus.

About Narcissa, please tell me what you think of her. I read over her description in the books a few times, and I'm really trying to portray what happened to make her the canon character she is now…. So really, I'm having a ridiculously hard time.

On another note- this just reached over 60,000 words! Don't watch as I do a little jig of accomplishment!

And so much more to go…

I'd like to thank my wonderful reviewers, who have done such a wonderful job of being rambly and getting me motivated and making me feel special in general. You guys are spectacular- don't ever change!

lhuntathraeil- Glad you liked it. No fear- I promise there will be shopping!

Laochra- I'm so glad you like Snape! I've been paranoid he's not in character and you just totally made me feel better things! Don't worry, I won't leave this un-updated that long ever again.

Biscuits the Gnome- I promise I will never be that long again!

Daughter of Darkness777- Yay! I'm glad you like Snape. Don't worry. I entirely agree with you on the Remus/Lydia fluff. I was ready to gag myself after that chapter. Still, whenever I go back and read over it, I'm like, "What the hell was I on when I wrote this?" Mauraders…grr… Wow, I can't believe I kept you looking at a computer screen for long periods of time. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside- just kidding, but it does give me a huge ego boost. I would love to check out your fanfics! Heh. This has to be one of the most motivating reviews because of its sheer bluntness. Loved it! The length was wonderful too!

katie- Oh, I'm so glad you like the story! I'm really trying to get the chapters out as fast as I can, so you don't have to wait! I'm glad you liked the shower bit. I felt a bit clever after I wrote that. I was like, "Bam! Symbolism!" And I can assure you, Snape is not an evil person. I mean, he's not in the books is he? Oh, 'off the racket' just means I'm crazy. Don't worry, I am NOT stopping this until it is FINISHED.

Odie- Bagel bites… you manage once again to make me hungry. Oh well, glad you liked the last chappie. Hey, the synonym game happens to be a personal favorite of mine!

Well, that's about it.

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TAKE MERCY ON ME AND REVIEW! I'M A POOR POOR FANFIC WRITER! YOU WOULDN"T DENY ME A GOOD LONG RAMBLY REVIEW RIGHT?**

Heh… I'm awful.


	24. Tanglewood Tree

**Heaven Sent**

**Chapter Twenty Four- Tanglewood Tree**

_Love is a tanglewood tree in a bower of green  
__In a forest at dawn  
__Fair while the mockingbird sings, but she soon lifts her wings  
__And the music is gone  
__Young lovers in the tall grass with their hearts open wide  
__When the red summer poppies bloom  
__But love is a trackless domain and the rumor of rain  
__In the late afternoon  
__Love is an old root that creeps through the meadows of sleep  
__When the long shadows cast  
__Thin as a vagrant young vine, it encircles and twines  
__And it holds the heart fast  
__Catches dreamers in the wildwood with the stars in their eyes  
__And the moon in their tousled hair  
__But love is a light in the sky, and an unspoken lie  
__And a half-whispered prayer  
__I'm walkin' down a bone-dry river but the cool mirage runs true  
__I'm bankin' on the fables of the far, far better things we do  
__I'm livin' for the day of reck'nin countin' down the hours  
__I yearn away, I burn away,  
I turn away the fairest flower of love, 'cause darlin'__Love is a garden of thorns  
__Love's garden of thorns, how it grows  
__And a crow in the corn__  
Black crow in the corn hummin' low  
__And the brake growing wild__  
Brake nettle so pretty and wild__  
And thistles surround the edge of the  
__Cold when the summer is spent__  
Dim dark hour as the sun moves away  
__In the jade heart's lament__  
Lamenting a lost summer day__For the faith of a child__  
Who nurtures the faith of a child__  
When nothing remains to cover her eyes?  
__My body has a number and my face has a name__  
My body has a number, maybe my face has a name  
__And each day looks the same to me__  
Each hour like each hour before  
__But love is a voice on the wind__  
This longing is a voice on the wind  
__And the wages of sin__  
She cultivates the wages of sin__And a tanglewood tree__  
In a tanglewood tree_

_Tanglewood__ Tree-_ Dave Carter Tracy Grammer

(break)

When Lydia awoke the next morning, she was a bit alarmed to find something standing at the edge of her bed. Once sleepy, she was fully awake noticing it was Derby the house elf.

"Derby!" she exclaimed, sitting up and holding the sheets to her chest. She was quite the sight with the purple smudges under her eyes and the wild set of her hair, "What are you doing here?"

"Did Derby disturb you? Derby is so very, very sorry!" The house elf cried, looking upset. Knowing the damage that house elves can cause when distressed, Lydia jumped on her response.

"Oh, no, no not at all! In fact, I'm very glad to see you."

"Really?" the elf said with a smile, "Oh, Derby is so very glad that Miss Lachlan is glad to see Derby!"

Lydia couldn't help but smile back. Maybe Derby was an exception to the obnoxiousness of house elves, "Might I ask, what is your business for being here?"

"Oh yes! Missus Narcissa asked Derby to bring you a box! Missus Narcissa says breakfast is to be served in half an hour." Derby held out, as described, a white cardboard box. Lydia, dropping the sheets, got out of bed and came over to accept it.

"Thank you, Derby."

"Miss Lachlan is most welcome! But Derby is afraid, Derby must be on his way. Master Lucius calls."

"Oh, of course. I would hate to keep you waiting. Thank you again, Derby."

"It is Derby's pleasure, miss." And with that, the house elf disappeared as strangely as he had arrived. Setting the box on the bed, Lydia opened it to find a set of clothes- grey slacks, a red sweater with a stretched turtle neck, and a pair of black shoes. Grinning excitedly, she threw the clothes on and clipped the top half of her hair back.

She was ready to step out the door and hurry down to breakfast, when she realized she had no idea how to get to the dining room. She could always wander around until she found it, but she wasn't sure how big the house was. Getting lost would not be something she'd like to experience. She could call Derby again, but hadn't he said he was off to see Mr. Malfoy? She didn't want to a bother, and to be perfectly honest- though she liked the house elf better then most, he still made her feel a bit uneasy. Of course, there was always Severus.

Ah, Severus… she was going to have to deal with him sometime. Surely he hadn't already gone to breakfast, and even if he had, she could always call Derby as a backup. It was really no big deal. All she had to do was act like everything was normal… And Lydia was a horrible liar.

Sticking her chin up, she opened her door and stepped out into the hallway. Why was she nervous? There was no need to be nervous. It was only Severus- Severus who she had worked with for months on end, Severus who she had sat next to for long days and long nights, Severus who she had intellectual conversations with, Severus who she was now sure she fancied.

"Damnit…" she muttered, then realizing what she said, she put a surprised hand over her mouth. Yes, she was in a sticky situation, but she would take it with class, not in the way Morrie would.

Alright, all she had to do was go knock on that door. That was it. He probably had already left, so there was really no harm in knocking. Really, she shouldn't be this upset over something so stupid! She needed to stop this, and she would stop it now.

With new found determination, she walked right up to that door, lifted her hand, and… completely froze. Sighing, she dropped her hand, "It's official… I am an idiot…"

And suddenly the door swung back, and gray eyes hit black. There was Severus, standing tall and intimidating in the doorway, though looking somewhat perplexed at Lydia's current position.

"Eh… Good morning, Severus," Lydia said, regaining her composure. Alright, the sudden appearance threw her off, but she would not go crazy over it.

"Good morning," Severus responded, though he didn't sound so passionate about it. Raising an eyebrow, he continued, "What are you doing?"

"What- oh, you mean, what am I doing _here_… oh, um… you see, I don't know how to get to the dining room- for breakfast that is… and I was hoping-"

"You were hoping I could take you down there," Severus cut her off in irritation. He's annoyed! That's not good. _Lydia__, you fool…_

"Well, yes… if it's not too much trouble," She said nervously, unconsciously beginning to pick at her nails.

"You're lucky I'm heading there myself. Come on," he said, starting down the hallway. Lydia, not wanting to look like an imbecile again, hurried along with him.

What was going on? Why was he making her so nervous? Lydia barely ever lost her cool… well not in this way. It was either in temper or upset, never nervousness. How could things turn around all of a sudden? One day she's talking to him as a normal acquaintance- the next, she's babbling like a moron. She had never acted this way with Remus. Why now?

Of course, Lydia being so deep in her own thoughts, paid no attention to where they were going. Severus kept silent, never looking over but keeping his eyes set towards the destination. Lydia on the other hand, kept berating herself for looking over at him. _You will not turn into a lovesick fool!_

"Are you alright?" he asked suddenly, throwing her out of her thoughts.

"What?"

"Are you alright? You don't look well," the way he said it wasn't concerned or worried. It was simply a fact he was using as a question.

"Oh, I've being feeling under the weather lately. I'm afraid it might be from waiting out in the cold the other night." Alright, she was getting back in the swing of things. It was only Severus and she liked him for the time they spent together in normality. Nothing had changed… well, except her feelings for him. But nothing had changed for him, so it was stupid to act like a nervous child. It was the same… she could do this. She knew she could.

"I noticed your cloak wasn't in the fittest of conditions," he commented off-handedly.

"I can see why. It's dreadfully old." _See, this is easy…_

"Have you ever thought of getting a new one?"

"Yes, numerous times, but there's always been the issue of money. A good cloak is not something one obtains without a heavy pocket."

"True…" he said, putting an end to the discussion. They were approaching a landing Lydia recognized, and entered the door on it- the dining hall.

Narcissa was already there, sipping a glass of pumpkin juice with a fair sampling of French toast in front of her. Hearing their arrival, she looked up with a smile, "Oh, good, you're both up. Come and sit so the house elves can get you your meal."

Narcissa had taken the same seat as last night, so Lydia decided it would be best if she also sat in the same seat beside her. This seemed to be the right thing to do as Severus took the seat across from them.

"I pray you slept well?" Narcissa asked.

"Very much so, thank you," Lydia replied. Narcissa looked pointedly at Severus.

He nodded in approval, "Yes, very well."

"I'm glad to hear it," the blonde said with another of her tight smiles, "I'm afraid Lucius is unable to dine with us this morning. He had some business to attend to."

"The Parkinsons, am I correct?" Severus asked as a house elf came out and placed a tray of French Toast before him. Another creature came out with a glass of pumpkin juice. Severus, however put his hand up to this, "No, coffee- black."

"Of- of course, Mister. Be back right aways with Mister's coffee." Severus nodded briskly in acceptance, sending the frightened house elf on her way. Picking up his knife, he began to cut the bread.

Another house elf came out for Lydia, and she accepted it eagerly. She was abnormally hungry this morning- a time when she usually could stomach nothing.

"Yes, in fact, he is visiting the Parkinsons. Did he tell you?"

"A lucky guess."

"Hm…" Narcissa hummed, "As I told Lydia last night, I'll not be around today. Lucius would have me take a trip to the Brocklehursts. It will be just you and Lydia, I'm afraid."

_Yes, I'm very afraid… _No, that wasn't the way to think at all. Confidence, Lydia, confidence!

"That's quite alright. I was planning on taking some time in the library today anyway," said Severus.

Narcissa grinned suddenly, "Oh, I know! Why don't you take Lydia? I'm sure she would enjoy the library, wouldn't you dear?"

"Oh, yes, I actually have a book with me I'd like to catch up on," she said before adding hastily, "If Severus doesn't mind, that is."

"I don't mind." How could he be so nonchalant about everything, so uninterested? It was driving Lydia mad.

The was a silent moment as the three ate. Lydia, starting to feel unbearably awkward, remembered the clothes Narcissa had let her borrow.

"Narcissa, I must thank you for the outfit."

Narcissa smiled, "Oh, don't thank me at all. Really, it was no problem, and I must say, it looks better on you than it ever did on me. Red is really not my color, but it works marvels on you."

"Thank you."

"Oh, you know, I have this marvelous skirt that I think would look beautiful on you…"

Lydia listened to Narcissa for a while, but eventually she drifted out, reply with 'Mmhmm' quite a few times. Though she tried to stop herself, her gaze kept traveling to the dark haired boy across from her. She found herself lucky to see he was not looking back… except one time. He found her eyes meet his for the second time that morning, and the pace of her heart immediately quickened. She could feel the blood in her veins boiling as he stared at her emotionless. She could not look away, not turn away. It was like she was in the headlights- but it was only for a moment. She quickly gained her senses, realized where she was and turned her attention back to Narcissa. She made sure not to look at Severus the rest of the meal.

When everyone had finished up, the house elves came to take the plates away and Narcissa made a hurried, uneventful departure, leaving the two teenagers alone in room. Severus was the first to speak.

"I'm going to the library to study, not to be bothered," he said. His voice portrayed the annoyance at having her accompany him… but who was he to say that? She had done nothing wrong. Why was he acting like she was such a burden- and why did it upset her so?

"Are you forgetting who I am?" Lydia said impetuously, "I sat beside you in a library for months on end. I wasn't aware I was such a nuisance. I'll not come if you feel that way."

Severus glared, "No, I do not feel that way. I was just making sure you understood by purpose of going there."

"It was well understood. There was no need to clarify."

"I know that. There's no need to be bad-tempered," he said with an icy tone. Lydia was in disbelief.

"I don't believe I was the one bad-tempered. It was not I who showed nothing but irritation. You've been unpleasant and dismissive to me every since we arrived."

"Forgive me if I upset you by my manner, but you best get used to it. Believe it or not, this is how I normally am," the way he cut each of his syllables was alarming. He was amazing he could still speak with such eloquence when she could tell he was having trouble controlling his temper. And if looks could kill, Lydia was sure he would be throwing daggers.

But she wouldn't back down, "How you normally are to the people you hate."

"Exactly!" he hissed, turning away. Lydia was about to reply when she realized the impact of his one word. For a moment, she felt like she couldn't breathe.

"What?" she staggered out. He did not turn around, the back of his robes still facing her.

"You heard me."

"That's not true. You don't hate me," Lydia said quietly, her eyes begging him to turn around.

"How would you know?"

"Because," she said, lifting her chin with a purpose, "I spent nearly four months by your side. I know you better than _that_. Don't insult my intelligence."

He didn't say anything for a moment. Eventually he turned around and looked at her with less emotion than she had ever seen. Surely she was right. Surely he didn't hate her… but if he did- why?

"I'm not going to discuss this with you any longer. I'm going to the library and you may or may not follow me there. Honestly, I could care less what you did with yourself." That said, he turned on his heels and walked out of the room.

Lydia could do nothing but freeze for a moment. Had he said what she thought she had said? Her mind was playing tricks on her. That must be it. But real logic won out in the end. She knew what she had heard… and though she wasn't one to go on a feeling- she knew it wasn't true.

With new resolve to find out exactly what was going on, she followed him out. She was going to the library and hopefully she would get some answers.

(break)

A/N- See, I've been getting better! Well, this is a vacation week for me.

I'm afraid I don't know what really happened with this chapter. The ending I assure you, was not planned before hand, but it definitely seemed to work for what is coming ahead. This always happens! I have the chapter all plotted out, and then something completely different comes out my fingertips.

Hey, guess what? **_THIS HIT ONE HUNDRED REVIEWS! AHHHHH! I AM SO EXCITED! WOOT! I THINK THAT JUST MADE MY LIFE!_**

And its all thanks to you guys- you wonder reviewers, you know who you are! I love you guys! Here, an imaginary cookie for all of you!

**Daughter of Darkness777**- pft, guys… they're all alike. Hey, bluntness is good! Very good! Yay for bluntness! Oh man, I totally agree with you! SNAPE IS NOT EVIL! Mauraders…grr… I'm so glad you like Narcissa! I really wanted to give something to her like I don't know… depth? Or my sad attempt at it… meh. Hey, no need to worry about crazy medication. I totally understand. I mean, that's what my other fanfic Storms is for. Now, that's sheer madness.

**skytten****-** Oh, you have no idea how sorry I am about the updates! I promise to tell you if anything like that ever happens again. I am so sorry! Hey, have an awesome time in London, and we have to talk when you get back. Do you perhaps have a screenname? Oh, and I am very, very happy you like Narcissa.

**cheZaswulf****-** Everyone is entitled to their opinion. I totally respect your view of my story, and see where you're coming from. My ideas just come from a different place.

**lhuntathraeil**- Make-overs are fun. Heh.

**Odie**- Hey, I love faithful reviewers man. And I'm thinking gold here, not silver! Glad to hear you like Narcissa. That was exactly what I was going for, so YAY! No Bagel Bites? gasps in horror Why do you always seem to make me hungry?

**Emily, your worst (best) reviewer**- Oh, you make me feel special about checking my story everyday. Heh. I am so glad that you fing Snape in character, because I have gotten some comments that have said otherwise and that made me sad L. Wow, I really sound like a preschooler in this little spiel…

Always good to see another Phantom fan! I did like the movie, but obviously not as well as the books. The unnecessary flash 'forwards' I wasn't fond of and the Gerard Butler, while being a wonderful actor, to be honest had an awful voice. I agree with you entirely in that. It was good, a little shaky at first. It annoyed me a lot when it would be a super suspenseful moment and Christine would just be STANDING there. I was like, "Come on, DO something!" But they did it too the best of their ability, and I enjoyed it. So yes, I liked it. Wow… watch as I ramble…

What was I doing while reading your review… let's see, I was sitting at the desk in my office, listening to my favorite band Belle and Sebastian- their album If You're Feeling Sinister to be specific, whining about my love life (or lack thereof) to my dear friend Pat, and occasionally talking a sip of Canadian maple tea. There were also windows minimized- an unfinished livejournal entry, an unfinished entry for an RP I'm in (I'm Ginny- we desperately need a Ron if anyone is interested, check out my livejournal. There are tons of other characters open too), Draco Veritas which I am rereading because I am sad and having nothing else to do, and of course HP- lexicon. Yes… I'm a multitasker.

An I'll tip my hat to you… heh.

So, that's it. Oh yeah, I'm in an new RP and we are desperately looking for people like I said before- specifically a Ron. If you're interested, there is a post on my livejournal that will lead you in the right direction. Thanks.

And now…

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TAKE ME OUT OF MY MISERY! GIVE ME SOME WONDERFUL, LONG RAMBLY REVIEWS! BABBLE ABOUT YOUR LIFE OR YOUR FRIENDS OR THAT INDEPENDENT FILM FOR ALL I CARE! I SWEAR, YOU'LL LIKE IT! –ok, that last bit was sketchy- EH? EH? PLEASE?

I am so bad…


	25. Shadowboxer

**Heaven Sent**

**Chapter Twenty Five- Shadowboxer**

_Once my lover  
Now my friend  
What a cruel thing  
To pretend  
What a cunning way  
To condescend  
Once my lover and  
Now my friend  
Oh, you creep up  
Like the clouds  
And you set my soul at ease  
Then you let  
Your love abound  
And you bring me  
To my knees  
Oh, it's evil, babe  
The way you let  
Your grace enrapture me  
When will you know  
I'd be insane  
To ever let that  
Dirty game recapture me _

You made me  
A shadowboxer, baby  
I wanna be ready  
For what you do  
I've been swinging  
All around me  
'Cause I don't know  
When you're gonna  
Make your move

Oh, your gaze  
Is dangerous  
And you fill your  
Space so sweet  
If I let you  
Get too close  
You'll set your  
Spell on me  
So darlin'  
I just wanna say  
Just in case  
I don't come through  
I was on to every play  
I just wanted you

But, oh, it's so evil  
My love  
The way you've no  
Reverence to my concern  
So I'll be sure to  
Stay wary of you, love  
To save the pain of  
Once my flame and  
Twice my burn

You made me  
A shadowboxer, baby  
I wanna be ready  
For what you do  
I've been swinging  
All around me  
'Cause I don't know  
When you're gonna  
Make your move

_Shadowboxer_- Fiona Apple

_(break)_

"Severus, wait up!" Lydia called, running down the hall after him. He only walked faster. It was no use. He had actually known she was trailing him for quite a while, but insisted on keeping ahead and trying to loose her. Abruptly, he took a turn into a large doorway. Assuming this was the library, she took the same turn in.

She was correct. Entering, she was overwhelmed by the numerous shelves and shelves of books towering high over her. The shelves reached all the way to the lofting ceiling and the room itself was circular. Only tall windows and the enormous fireplace broke the rows of tomes. If Lydia had not been distracted, she would have spent a little more time looking over the area, but she caught Severus already at the other side of the room, searching the shelves.

Furrowing her eyebrows in frustration, she did something very out of character. She slammed the door shut to make her presence known.

Severus turned around, a displeased expression, "Oh, you decided to follow me?"

"That's the way it would appear," Lydia said, walking across the room by the largest window where he stood. She made sure to keep her distance however, but just close enough to the boy.

"Well," Severus said, looking back to the shelf, "Don't bother me then."

Lydia's mouth dropped a bit, "Excuse me?"

"I said, 'Don't bother me.' Are you unable to comprehend that?" he said bluntly, still looking away.

Lydia was getting very, very angry at his treatment of her. It wasn't fair. What had she done? But she had to keep her cool, just as he was doing. Remain classy, take this in a mature way… but still make your point known- firmly.

"Don't you dare dismiss me like that."

"Like what?" He had taken a book down and was now flipping through it.

"Look at me, Severus."

"I thought I told you not to bother me. Are you deaf?"

"Severus-"

"What don't you understand, you fool. I'm busy." Still he was not looking at her, but she could tell she was distracting him. _Good, let him be distracted._ She was getting somewhere… even if it meant she had to go through his insults. _Ignore them, just ignore them…_

"Put the book down. We need to talk."

"I-am-busy," he hissed, still not looking at her. Lydia hated this. Was it so hard to just look at her? Did this mean he really hated her- he held so much loathing that he could not even look at her? _Please, please just look at me!_

"Don't do this, Severus." So much for sounding firm. That came more strangled and staggered than she would have liked.

And the book snapped shut, creating an echo in the large room, "Don't do what, Lydia?" he hissed. Well, he was finally looking at her, but Lydia wasn't sure it she preferred when he wasn't. His black eyes were narrowed in slits, glaring at her with an icy glow, "Don't ignore you? Don't treat you like everyone else. Perhaps, you want attention? Am I correct, Lydia? Do you want me to hang on your every word? Do you want me to follow you around like some fool mutt?"

His voice was so cold, angry, loathing all wrapped into one. The way he cut each syllable, speaking with such freezing eloquence it was enough to drive her mad. His words went through her ears, not coming out. Why was he saying these things? And why did they hurt so much… but she knew that answer. Because, they were partly true. She did want his attention- badly, but not in the controlling way he was describing. How did he know? She had not expressed this want, had she? Was she that obvious?

No, she couldn't be. She had only realized her feelings just last night. That was when she started acting awkward. Had Narcissa told him? No, she wouldn't do that… What was going on? She didn't understand!

"I thought you had Lupin to do that for you," he finished bitterly, turning around and looking with purpose out the tall window. Outside the grounds were covered in mounds of pale snow, creating a glistening effect over everything. It was beautiful, but cold- very cold.

She had been thrown a little off guard by his last comment, "Remus? You're bringing Remus into this? Good Rowena, Severus, I thought you were more mature than that!" Lydia said.

"I'm not mature?" Severus scoffed, "Spare me. I'm the adult here compared to your _strapping_ boyfriend."

And she snapped, the end of her rope had finally been reached. Still, she did not raise her voice, but it the most hostile tone she could muster, "He is_ not_ my boyfriend."

"I see. A friend with benefits, perhaps? Am I correct?"

How dare he? How dare he even stop to think that? She and Remus had been in a relationship, really- just not a defined one… No, Severus was right. Again. And that's why it upset her so much. Once again- his insults hit home.

"Stop it Severus," she said quietly, looking away, "I don't want to fight with you."

But he challenged, "Are you afraid, Lydia? Afraid because you know what I'm saying is true."

"Severus-"

"It is true. You want all the attention now that your dear father is gone and when Lupin isn't around, you come to me. You're looking in the wrong place,_ Lachlan_."

She would not cry. She could not cry.

"That's not what I want."

"Really?" He looked amused, grimly amused, "Perhaps you'll explain otherwise."

"I-" Her voice caught in her throat. She couldn't speak. Should she take Narcissa's advice and tell him how she felt? She didn't know what to say. She didn't know if he would listen.

"That's what I thought," He gave a sneer, tucking the book he held under his arm and started to walk towards the door.

She mentally berated herself as two perfect tears fell down her cheeks- warm and silent. Yes, he had just destroyed her- cut her open and tore out her heart. She was distraught, upset, and hated herself after his nailing remarks. But in the back of her head, something told her it was wrong.

Her thoughts trailed to the fragile blonde woman who looked so strong, but was so broken. She didn't want that. She didn't want to be silent. She didn't want to be unhappy. And if Severus made her happy, so be it.

"No, Severus!" she stopped him. He turned to her, gazing with an almost unreadable expression- doubt mixed with something else?

"What?"

"I-" she took a deep breath, "I have feelings for you."

There. It was out in the open. It was there in the air, mingling with the particles of dust around them. She had said it and he had heard it. His guard dropped for a moment, and she could the surprise in his glistening black eyes.

"Excuse me?"

Lydia shut her eyes a moment and swallowed, "You heard what I said." Anxiously, she waited for his reply.

…

And a cold, bitter laugh resounded.

"That's rich, Lydia," he said with a sour taste to his words, "A fine joke, _honestly_."

"Don't mock me," she said, strangled.

"Oh, I don't think I'm the one doing the mocking," he said indignantly.

"I'm serious, Severus!" Lydia exclaimed, "I fancy you, alright? It's hard enough without you laughing at me."

Taken back, Severus stared at her. His eyebrows furrowed as he looked at her, awe and disbelief etched in her prominent features. There was silence as the two looked at each other.

"Why?" That was all he said.

Lydia thought for a moment, "Why not?"

Silence fell again, but know Severus was approaching her, his eyes glinting. He came near like a predator grabbing her and pulling her close. Her hands against his chest, her back clutched tightly in an almost suffocating grip, the aroma of potions ingredients and smoke hitting her nostrils- it was enough to lose her. But she stayed aware, as he glared down at her- his look no longer surprised but scheming. A lump grew in the pit of her stomach.

"Is this what you want then?" He hissed into her ear, his voice intoxicating and alarming all at once. Her breath grew rapid and she could not answer. The closeness, the feeling of him against her, and the fright of what unpredictable thing he might do stressed her. Worried, she tried to pull away, but his grip was a death lock. She could not get away, though she struggled. He was too strong.

Suddenly his lips crashed down on hers, lips that were scorching. His thin lips against her full ones. She was frazzled, upset. Yes, she wanted it, but not like this- not out of anger and force. She fought again, but he only deepened the kiss, parting her lips with a wiry tongue. How desperately she wanted to get away, how desperately she wanted to fall into the kiss. It was all too much.

Out of breath, he pulled back, and she took this chance to free herself, pushing through his locked arms and falling to the ground. She was quite the site- her tangled and frizzy, her clothes rumpled, and her lips pink and swollen from the contact. Her gray eyes were widened in horror, looking back at the boy who had ruined her once more.

"I didn't think so," he said with a scathing bite. Looking down at her in distaste, he turned on his heel, walking briskly out of the room. His robes flew about him and his burst through the door.

Lydia remained on the ground long after he left, gathering her knees in her arms. She felt cold after so much heat. She could still taste his lips on her own. Tears streamed down her cheeks. She was wrong. He did really mean to say those things. He hated her. It was true. She was just being a fool, trying to deny it. She liked him, and he hated her.

How did things get so out of hand?

_(break)_

Severus slammed the door behind him. This was bad- supremely bad, superbly bad. He paced a bit, thinking the situation over. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he groaned, "Dear Salazar help me… and her."

He gave a glace to the door he had just gone through like he could see her through it. Yes, this was bad…

_(break)_

A/N- Sorry about the shortness, but this chapter was extremely hard to write and really felt like this was the best dropping point. I've been pretty bad about the length of chapters lately, but I assure, once I get back in the swing of things, they will be much longer- I swear.

So there you have it! After sixty thousand words of development- there's a bit of action! I'll let you decide whether it is good or bad.

So this just hit the big two five. Yay for accomplishment!

The number of reviews has been incredible. I never expected so many people to take an interest in my crappy story when I started out so very long ago. It makes me so happy. Thank you guys so much!

Daughter of Darkness777- Hey, I've been WRITING MORE. I'm getting better. Must be your blunt motivation. Ah, big houses- how I loathe them. I'm much more content with a small cottage than getting lost in an overly big house. That must have been awful for you! About Severus… well, I can't tell you. It's a secret. And just to set the page straight-

I AM STICKING WITH CANON AS WELL AS I CAN.

And, if you've noticed- there's no Mrs. Snape on the side in Order of the Phoenix. That's all I'm saying. But by no means am I playing the 'useless halfblood' card. I swear. League of Asses and Idiots, you say? I really do like it.

Oh man, I love your reviews! And hey, your bluntness is good! Not bitchy. Bluntness is one of my favorite things in the world! Why do you think I made the character Morrie?

Yeah! You broke my one hundred reviews! May I just say, I love you man.

I started The Doom of Innocence over the weekend, and I'm about halfway through. Let me tell you, I'm an abysmally slow reader, and I haven't had much time, but I should be done soon. And I swear I'll be your best reviewer.

Oh, snickerdoodle actually.

Oh man, I am so flattered that you reread my stories and checked them that often. You have no idea. Being in the hospital sucks. I hope whatevers wrong gets better, because I know what it's like to be prodded with needles. You write scripts? That has to be the coolest thing ever! Ah, I hate you! I'm actually looking at colleges right now, hoping to become a comic sketch writer. While I adore drama, comedy is something I love with a fiery passion. A spin off on Harry Potter, eh? My friends and I tried that once. It was tragic really. Hehe, I hope you have a good time playing Hermione.

Actually, I wanted to ask you something. After reading a bit of your fanfic, I really grew to like your style. I think you'd do really well in this RP I just joined. We haven't really started up yet, due to not having a Ron and I'm sure you could join as almost anybody you wanted. There aren't a lot of characters taken. If you're interested, there's an entry about it somewhere in my livejournal or you can even send me an email and I'll give you the stuff. Both are on my author page. Just if you're interested.

Madelynn Rae- Heh, I'm just demanding. Your reviews are just as awesome as anyone elses. You've been reviewing a long time, and I can't thank you enough.

Ihuntathraeil- You've been reviewing for quite a while too! Cookies are always good. Oh man, Fairly Oddparents- a guilty pleasure along with Spongebob.

Lemon- Oh man! I am so glad you like it! Second person? Second person? How did you survive? Glitter + corsets DOOM. Slipknot, eh? I've got a friend who is obsessed with Slipknot. I've never really listened to them myself. I'm afraid I've always leaned towards what my friends call 'faggy' music such as the Flaming Lips, and Belle and Sebastian. I do have a soft spot for Nine Inch Nails though.

Katie- Katie, my dear, all I'm going to say is "Wow…"(Can't say anything else really) Heh. I'm glad you like the mystery that is Severus Snape. I was very worried about that. Having a story about Snape with him portrayed as such a conundrum- it's a risk. Hehe…

Laochra- Hehe… I'm glad the update made you happy, because your review made me happy! Hey, I've got a few tricks up my sleeves yet.

Snickerdoodles4u- I LOVE snickerdoodles! I am so glad you like the story and even gladder you like Lydia. I've been so paranoid that she is a Mary Sue. You have no idea! It also made me feel all warm and fuzzy to know you liked my writing. Yay!

SnapeFan-Oh, I'm really glad you like it! About those grammar errors… what can I say? I'm only human. I hope they're not too much of a bother. I swear I try as hard as I can to pick up mistakes, but I'm not the best at editing. Heh.

Chocolate-Chipps- Hey thanks! You rock too!

Thank you guys! You're awesome!

Please check out Storms, my other story which is, I warn you, a comedy. Don't be put of by it if you're not a Draco/Ginny shipper. It's more about humour than anything else, and I'm rather proud of it.

So…

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GIVE ME SOME MOTIVATING LONG RAMBLY REVIEWS TO MAKE ME FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF, BOOST MY POOR SELF ESTEEM AND HELP ME WRITE MORE IN GENERAL! PLEASE!


	26. I Know You Must Hate Me

Eh… April Fools?

I really shouldn't kid. I know you all hate me enough already.

Alright, so this is against the rules, but you guys won't tell on me right?

Eh… I'm not so sure after all this wait…

Okay, I decided to write this Author's Note because I feel awful about not updating. But I have my reasoning, and I wanted to explain.

School has been crazy. I decided to screw myself over by signing up for all honors classes. Oh wait- excuse me, I meant three honors classes and four AP. Yeah, that's a lot of fun. Well, third term turned out to be a kick in the ass, and all my time on the computer has been writing atrocious research papers. I hate to say it, but school has to come first.

Now, that was my logical answer. There has also been another factor, I'm sad to say. The boy I've been pining over for about a year recently told me that he has been pining over me for the last year as well. And my own personal Snape has suddenly become my boyfriend, and I have to say, my life is getting better all the time with him. I don't think I've ever been happier. Of course, this means I've been neglecting a few things including fanfiction.

However, feeling so bad, I have set aside Saturday to finish up the next chapter of Heaven Sent, and as soon as I get it up, I will take this Author's note down. I just wanted to let you all know. I hope you all forgive me, and I promise, promise it won't happen again!


	27. Mother

**Heaven Sent**

**Chapter Twenty Six- Mother**

**xxx**

_Go go go go now  
Our of the nest  
It's time  
Go go go now  
Circus girl without a safety net  
Here here now  
Don't cry  
You raised your hand for the assignment  
Tuck those ribbons under your helmet  
Be a good soldier  
First my left foot  
Then my right behind the other  
Pantyhose  
Running in the cold_

Mother the car is here  
Somebody leave the light on  
Green limousine for the redhead  
Dancing dancing girl And when I dance for him  
Somebody leave the light on just in case  
I like the dancing  
I can remember where I come from

I walked into your dream  
And now I've forgotten how to dream my own dream  
You are the clever one aren't you  
Brides in veils for you  
We told you all of our secrets  
All but one  
So don't you even try  
The phone has been disconnected  
Dripping with blood  
And with time  
And with your advice  
Poison me against the moon

Mother the car is here  
Somebody leave the light on  
Green limousine for the redhead  
Dancing dancing girl And when I dance for him  
Somebody leave the light on just in case  
I like the dancing  
I can remember where I come from

I escape into your escape  
Into our very favorite fearscape  
It's across the sky  
And across my heart  
And I cross my legs  
Oh my God  
First my left foot  
Then my right behind the other  
Breadcrumbs lost under the snow  
Mother  
Mother the car is here  
Somebody leave the light on  
Somebody leave the light on just in case  
I like the dancing  
Mother

_Mother_- Tori Amos

**xxx**

Lydia could barely open her mouth to talk when Narcissa called through the door. She did not know how long it had been since she fled from the contemptuous atmosphere of the library, and did not realize it was near time for dinner. The whole of the afternoon had been spent in her room, trying her hardest not to cry over something so silly. No one had died, she had thought, but that only brought on a rush of unpleasant memories, the faces of her parents causing the sobs to rise in her throat.

How she hated herself- her whiny, pathetic self bursting into tears at a moment's notice, crying helplessly over the things she could never have. Her parents were gone and Severus- she doubted Severus would ever even look at her again. How poorly he must think of her. How he must scoff at the way she threw herself at him. A needy little girl who thought she saw a semblance of nourishment in the grim boy, that was all she was. And he knew it now. In fact, he probably knew it before.

She should just forget him, just as he would forget her. Pretend it didn't happen, that was all there was to it.

But she couldn't. Couldn't put aside his glassy black eyes, couldn't put aside the feeling of his hands tight around her, couldn't put aside the taste of his lips clashing with her own… even when she knew he despised her.

"Lydia, darling, are you alright? Please. Let me in," Narcissa plead through the door. Lydia blinked in alert. She must have zoned out, and forgotten where she was for a moment. Propping herself up from the spot on the floor, she flung open the door.

"There you are! I was starting to get…" she trailed off, her icy eyes surveying the girl. Lydia lowered her eyes, ashamed of her appearance- frazzled hair, undone clothes and red eyes no doubt. How wild she must look, "…worried," Narcissa finished, "Lydia, darling, what happened?"

Narcissa stepped inside, closing the door lightly behind her. A frail hand came to Lydia's face as the blonde woman wrapped her arms around the girl, pulling her into a tight hug. Narcissa was thin and fragile, making the embrace just that and though Lydia fell into it willingly, she couldn't help but wish for the secure grasp her mother had always taken with her. Lydia choked at the thought and tears fell fast from her eyes, but Narcissa did not pull away, only stroking her hair gently in an almost sisterly way, "Cry it out, girl," she said softly.

And Lydia did. She did cry it out. It was the pity party that had never been allowed in Ravenclaw Tower. It was the pity party she needed. Just to let out all the hurt and grief that had only been lurking and growing since her mother's death. The stress of school and friends, the expectations never met, the loss of those closest to her, the break-up, and Severus- for all that she cried and she would never be able to fully thank Narcissa Malfoy, the Ice Queen herself as she would later be called, for holding her like a sister as the sobs soaked through.

Narcissa never did ask her what had happened and for that, Lydia was always thankful. She had just let her cry and when the sobs finally died down, she offered her handkerchief with a soft smile. "Will you be down to dinner, or should I make an excuse?"

"No, no," Lydia croaked, dabbing at her eyes, "You don't have to do that for me."

"Nonsense, dear, it wouldn't be any trouble. I would be glad to," she said, "There have many times in my life when I have wished terribly to hide from the slanders of the dining hall."

It was true. The mere thought of dinner with Severus across from her was horrifying. She didn't even know how she could look at him now without breaking down. How had it come to this? How had she blown things up so terribly?

And why was she such a weeping ninny? Why could she not keep herself from crying? Why did she have to break down at the least provocation? Why could she not be strong and collected like the woman she saw before her? Narcissa Malfoy carried more pain with her than anyone would ever be truly aware of and yet, she continued on. She was not falling to the ground crying every time something did not go as planned. She was the Lady of Malfoy Manor and she was strong.

Lydia wished she could be like that. And though she knew she wasn't, not naturally at least, a thing or two could be learned for Narcissa Malfoy. One being that you could not run away from your problems, not even when it seemed so bad.

"No," Lydia said finally, "I want to go. I just- I just don't have anything to wear."

Narcissa brightened, "Well, that is just what I'm here for, dear." The blonde held out a slim parcel, "I found it hiding in the back of my closet and it just screamed for you."

Lydia took the box carefully and opened it. On top was a pair of jagged toe heels and beneath them, she found the sheen of silk. She pulled out the shoes delicately and laid them down on the bed to lift up the fragile material of the dress.

It was blue, a dark midnight shade and it swayed gently under her hold. The length was short, probably only to reach her knees, Lydia guessed, and the neck was a low, ruffled V, breaking off into short puffed sleeves with an empire waist. It was plain and simple, but for some reason, Lydia loved it and Narcissa noticed.

"Thank you. You really don't have to do this for me," Lydia said, only breaking her gaze from the dress for just a moment. Narcissa smiled at her sincerity.

"Think nothing of it, dear. I was never going to wear it."

"You're too good to me."

Narcissa's smile suddenly changed. It was odd, almost strangled, and her eyes looked somehow upset. "No, dear," she murmured, "I'm not nearly good enough."

Lydia was confused. The change was startling, unexpected. Had she said something wrong? "Narcissa?"

But as quickly as it had appeared, it was gone, "Merlin, look at the time. You best get into that quickly. Here, use the bathroom and I'll set up to do your hair." Her lips were spread across her teeth, but Lydia couldn't help but feel her cheerfulness wasn't entirely genuine. But she nodded anyway and headed to the bathroom, stripping down and pulling on the dress as quickly and as carefully as she could. Narcissa was waiting for her when she came back out into the room and she say down at the mahogany vanity as her hair was tugged into a loose French braid.

The two didn't say anything, for it felt like everything had already been said. And even in mist of all the confusion surrounding her life, she was glad she came to Malfoy Manor, just for the once chance of meeting this woman.

"There," Narcissa said in completion as she tied a band around Lydia's thick hair, "Take a look and tell me what you think."

Lydia stood, walking over to the full length mirror across the room. It was odd, she thought, walking in heels. She had stolen pairs of her mother's when she was younger, but those had never really fit and she had just stumbled around her room in them. But these heels felt like a glove and a very empowering one at that. She felt tall and immediately her posture had straightened under their effect. It was hard to move at first, but once she got the hang of them, she liked it- a lot.

And, Lydia found, she liked the whole outfit- a lot- as well. In the mirror she saw herself painfully different from the dorky, waddling girl who had arrived at Platform 9 ¾ earlier this year. The dress was completely flattering, making her look lean and sophisticated. Her hair was elegant and the simple blue pearl earrings Narcissa had leant her only added to that. Suddenly, she was classic. She was aristocratic. She was noble. She was more than half-blood scum. She had the looks and features of any pureblood woman and with Narcissa Malfoy on her side, she could show them off.

But to who? Severus?

Like he would ever even look at her again, she thought miserably. Her face fell to the ground as the kiss rose in her mind once more. They had been so close and at the same time, they couldn't have been more at odds. Lydia had never truly let herself like any boy until this, and now, she realized why. It was just a set up to get herself hurt.

And then she felt Narcissa's hands on her shoulders, peering at her in the mirror, "Knock him dead," she said, before pulling away. But Lydia didn't know how on earth that could ever happen. She was sure it was entirely the other away around- him knocking her dead with another scathing remark.

But she wasn't going to think about that now. She wasn't going to think of anything except which fork to use.

And he was not going to affect her. She promised.

Though she knew it was one she could never keep.

**xxx**

"Late again, ladies?" Lucius Malfoy exclaimed as the two women entered the dining room. Lydia could already feel the pit in her stomach growing rapidly, and as she followed Narcissa, it was almost as though she was hiding behind her. She did not want to be here. Good Rowena, she did _not_ want to be here.

"Fashionably, of course," Narcissa supplied, taking the seat at her husband's right. Lydia followed suit, still keeping her gaze to the wooded floor as she stole the seat beside the blonde woman. "Lydia, darling, I know those shoes are just enchanting, but do look up every so often, will you?"

Lydia's chin lifted faster than you could say 'Rowena', a great blush flaming in her cheeks. "Thank you again for letting me borrow them."

"Borrow?" Narcissa said, surprised, "Dear me, keep them, Lydia. They don't fit me anymore."

"Plus they don't look half as enthralling on Cissa's feet as they do on yours," Malfoy added, taking a sip from his already filled goblet.

"And what exactly do you mean by that?" Narcissa said with playfully narrowed eyes. Lucius just smirked.

"Am I not allowed to admire another lady's assets?"

Narcissa gave a pleasant bark, "I think you know the answer to that, Lucius." But for some reason, Narcissa didn't look as pleasant as she sounded. She looked almost ill.

"Not even her feet?"

"Do you want to sleep in the study tonight?"

Lucius laughed, "Not particularly."

"Then the only feet you'll be admiring are mine and you'll like it."

"Of course, of course," The man surrendered, taking another sip from his goblet, "Mhmm, how was the Brocklehursts, Cissa?"

Narcissa waved her hand dismissively, "Same as ever. They're coming."

"To the Gala?"

"Yes."

Lucius gave another smirk, "You do good work." If he had been looking for a positive reaction from his wife, it was not received. The look she gave him was positively withering.

"Don't I always?" It was then she took some from her own goblet, looking across the table. Lydia did not dare to follow her gaze. During the entirety of the conversation, her eyes had moved from Narcissa to Lucius and back to her plate, never daring to cross the simple white linen. Yes, she was a coward…. "Where is Severus?"

Abruptly Lydia did exactly what she had been trying not to do and turned to find his empty seat. He was not there. He was not there and she was. And Lydia was completely baffled.

It was not like Severus to be late or even to miss a meal at the Malfoys. Just over the past two days he had always been to meals exactly on time and always before Lydia had arrived. Was it possible that maybe he didn't come down for the same reason she almost shut herself in her room?

No….

Where was he?

"I was hoping you could tell me," Lucius said, looking at Lydia, "You spent the day with him, did you not?"

Lydia almost choked. Yes, she had spent some of the day with him alright… "Well, only the beginning of the day. I haven't seen him since early this morning."

"Odd, it's not like Severus to be late."

_I know…_

"Maybe he got caught up in the library?" Narcissa suggested, "You know Severus. When he finds a good book, there is no such thing as time."

"I'm sure that bloody clock of yours would have him out of any literary trance."

"I happen to like that clock," Narcissa sniffed. Lucius just shook his head.

"So did my mother."

"I liked you mother too!"

"And that is saying a lot."

Narcissa opened her mouth to respond when the door creaked open and Lydia, although she cursed herself for it, looked in the direction.

He was standing straight and cruel as ever, glaring across the room but never meeting her eye. As soon as she saw him, the image of this morning rushed into her head- the look he gave her right before he lowered his lips and suddenly, she did not know what she was doing here at this table or what she was doing in Malfoy Manor or what she had ever been doing with Severus Snape for that matter. At that moment, she wanted to just curl up and die.

"Forgive me," Severus said silkily, striding across the room to take his seat, "I hope I did not keep you waiting."

"No, no not at all," Narcissa said, "We were just wondering where you were."

Severus looked grimly at her, "I decided to take a walk around the grounds and lost track of the time."

"In this weather?" Narcissa exclaimed, "It's a wonder you didn't freeze to death."

It was true. The weather was terrible. Though the snow had finally stopped last night, it was still a blistering cold outside and the wind flew like a whip across the moor. Why he even dared to go outside was beyond her. In fact, Severus Snape was entirely and completely beyond her.

"I was completely fine." It was all he said before Derby and two house elves Lydia did not recognize appeared and expertly placed their dinner before them. It was some sort of roasted pheasant, Lydia guessed, but she wasn't about to question. She watched as her portion appeared on the plate before her, doing her best not to look back up. But part of her was daring herself to do it- to just catch his eyes. Just to see if it was there- the hate, the loathing. Just to see if it was real.

Because, even though she knew the truth, part of her wanted to believe that he cared about her. Part of her just wanted to believe that he didn't have to care- that he could be completely impartial. Part of her wanted to believe that he hated her after all.

And she did not know which part was right.

"Why ever did you decide to go out?" Lucius asked, cutting the meat before him neatly. Lydia was trying to do the same, but she could barely concentrate. Though Severus was only across the table and she knew she could easily listen, she was still straining to hear him in fear that she would miss something.

"I wanted to think." She heard him say it sharply and then Lucius giving one of his airy laughs.

"Well, we have a library for that."

"It was… occupied." He said it so smoothly and Lydia could feel his eyes on her, cold and harsh and calculating. He was looking at intensely and she didn't even need to look up to know.

But she did anyways.

And her eyes met his abruptly. Black- it was all she could see. Everything was black and cold and smooth. She could not tear her gaze away- not from those frigid eyes. She was too busy looking for something- anything- to signify that they were not as icy as she thought.

But there was nothing.

"Lydia?" she heard the voice in the back of her head, far away and distant, "Lydia?" The contact on her shoulder pulled her back to reality and Narcissa was looking at her with concern. "Are you alright? You look pale."

Lydia opened her mouth, but it was a moment before any sound came out, "I'm fine- just a bit of a chill…"

"You're right. It is rather cold in here. Lucius, is there any way to heat the place up?"

"Not in a room like this. You'd need a rather strong warming charm and I doubt it would coincide with the wards up."

Narcissa nodded, turning back to Lydia, "Would you like to retire early?"

"No, no," Lydia said with an uneasy laugh, "I'm perfectly fine. Please, don't worry about it."

"Are you sure?"

"Very. I'd like to stay." _Yeah right…_ In actuality, she wanted to be as far away as possible. Away from Severus, and away from Malfoy Manor. But she had gotten herself into this mess, and she would stick through it.

Her eyes returned to her food and so moved it gently around her plate, picking up a piece with her fork to eat every so often. She swore she would not look at him again. The conversation moved quickly between husband and wife and every so often she would her Severus, but it was only through muffled ears. She was trying not to think- listing off potion ingredients in her head as she numbly chewed.

"Oh dear, we do need to get dear Lydia a dress! And she'll certainly need something for the race!" Narcissa exclaimed, drawing Lydia out of her zone again.

"Dress?" Lydia asked, confused.

"For the Gala, of course. We'll have to go shopping straight away. Tomorrow maybe? I'm sure I don't have anything to do… Lucius?"

"No," he responded, "Nothing of note. You deserve a girls' day out."

"Oh, good! It will be splendid. Now, I was thinking Paris or maybe Milan. New York is just too icky this time of year. Plus my best tailor is in Paris. And preferences?" Narcissa gave her a bright smile, but Lydia just felt overwhelmed.

"Oh, Narcissa, I'm sorry, but I can't," Lydia said hopelessly, feeling the blush rise on her face again.

"Why not? You aren't doing anything, are you?"

"Well, no, but-"

"But what?" Lucius burst in, "I don't see any issue here."

Lydia knew she was painfully red and she felt horribly embarrassed. Suddenly, she was completely aware of how different she was from the Malfoys and everything they did, "I don't have any money," she said.

There was a pause of silence only to be broken by Narcissa's throaty laugh, "Darling, is that what you are worried about? Really, Lydia, I wasn't going to take you shopping without paying. That would be completely rude."

Rude? How was going shopping with her and not buying anything rude?

"You don't have to do that-"

"But I do. Don't even try to protest. We are going to have a good time and you are going to like it, alright?" Narcissa gave her another smile and Lydia could not help but smile back.

"Alright."

"It's settled then," Narcissa said, drinking her wine, "Now, I just have to make sure- how much do you know about dancing?"

Dancing? Lydia had never danced in her life… well, unless you counted flailing along to the Hobgoblins. Once more, she felt completely and entirely out of whack.

"I'm afraid I don't know much of anything," she replied.

"Just as I thought," Lucius said and Lydia immediately flushed.

"Oh no dear," Narcissa said quickly, "It's nothing to be ashamed of. Look at Severus. He barely knew how to walk before he started visiting."

_No, I'd rather not look at him_… Lydia thought.

"We'll just have to teach you, won't we Lucius," Narcissa said, smiling at her husband to be returned with a smirk.

"That we will."

"Oh, why not after dinner? It's not too late. We could all go to the ballroom together and brush our dancing skills up a bit. What do you think?"

"Sounds marvelous," Lucius said, "Lydia?"

Dancing was something she would definitely need in this household, she realized, and it was better to learn as soon as possible. "Alright."

"And Severus?" She hadn't forgotten he was there, but it was startling to hear his reply. Lydia hadn't realized the Malfoys had included Severus in their invitation, but really, why wouldn't they? Suddenly, he pulse began to race. _Please say no_…

"I've nothing better to do."

_Great…_

**xxx**

**A/N-** --awkwardly waves—Um, hey guys… I'm sort of back… yeah. –ducks at objects being hurled—Yes, I am aware that I am a horrible person and that you all hate me. It's been a long time and I seriously doubt any of you are still going to read this story, if you are even reading this now, but I'm back now and I'm finishing this thing like it or not. I'm so sorry for letting everyone who was reading this down and I promise that this will be finished. And the updates will be regular and I will never ever do this to you all again.

Now that HBP is out, this is completely AU, as a lot of my history is out of the timeline, especially Snape's history. But I'm not going to change, but I'm not going to ignore HBP either. Be warned, I will be using stuff from it if necessary and if actually are reading this story still and haven't read it, I suggest you do. Just warning you all.

Again, I apologize and be expecting the next update very soon.

Please review?


	28. Strange and Beautiful

**Heaven Sent**

**Chapter 27- Strange and Beautiful**

**xxx**

_I've been watching your world from afar,   
I've been trying to be where you are,  
And I've been secretly falling apart,  
I'll see.  
To me, you're strange and you're beautiful,  
You'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see,   
You turn every head but you don't see me._

I'll put a spell on you,  
You'll fall asleep and I'll put a spell on you.   
And when I wake you,  
I'll be the first thing you see, lyricstop  
And you'll realise that you love me.

Yeah...   
Yeah...

Sometimes, the last thing you want comes in first,  
Sometimes, the frist thing you want never comes,  
And I know, the waiting is all you can do,  
Sometimes...

I'll put a spell on you,  
You'll fall asleep,  
I'll put a spell on you,  
And when I wake you,  
I'll be the first thing you see,   
And you'll realise that you love me.

I'll put a spell on you,  
You'll fall asleep 'cos I'll put a spell on you,  
And when I wake you,  
I'll be the first thing you see,  
And you'll realise that you love me, yeah...

_Strange and Beautiful_- Aqualung

**xxx**

Massive.

It was the only word she could think of, and the expression she was wearing showed nothing short of awe.

The ballroom was probably able to fit two Great Halls just within its circular interior. The dark wooden floors were laid in a round setting like a murky whirlpool with the Malfoy emblem at its center. Great carved columns skirted the outside of the room, creating a border awning around the gigantic stained glass dome letting in bright moonlight along with the numerous floor to ceiling windows along the walls. The room was incredible.

"Just think. In a few days, there will be an enormous tree scraping the ceiling," Narcissa said, hugging her husband's arm. The blonde man just looked down at her with a smile.

"I almost forgot about that. We'll have to go out and get it together in a matter of time, won't we, dear?"

Lucius directed his gaze on Severus, "And we won't have another fiasco, I hope?"

"It's not my fault we couldn't get the bloody tree down," Severus retorted grouchily, causing Narcissa to laugh.

"You certainly we're a bit of help when we got it down."

"Again, I blame Lucius."

"Me? Why on Earth do you blame me?"

"For sending us on the foolish expedition in the first place," Severus commented dryly and again Narcissa laughed.

"But it's tradition!"

"Tradition is just an excuse to go out into the wild and frolic like a mangle of baboons."

"Then we shall be acting like a mangle of baboons this year as well," Lucius said with a smirk, "Lydia, care to become a primate?"

Lydia, up until this point, had absolutely no idea what the trio had been talking about. She'd been far too busy avoiding Severus's gaze and admiring the room they had just entered. She had been listening of course, cringing whenever Severus spoke in that grim, testy way, but had not known exactly what they meant. "I'm afraid you don't know what you mean," she said with a blush.

Narcissa gave her a smile, "Every year we all bundle up and head out into the woods to cut down a Christmas tree for the Gala," she explained, "It's great fun- even for Severus, though he's too stuffy to admit it."

Severus glared.

"I'm not sure how much help I would be." The idea was appealing. Lydia had never had a really Christmas like this. Yes, they had always gotten a tree, but it was usually very small with hardly any decorations. But the idea of being in the middle of a forest with Severus was not a pleasant one… but she couldn't let his presence run her life, should she? _Gah_…

"Do you think I'm any help?" Narcissa chuckled, "I'm just there to help pick out the perfect tree. And may I say, that the Tree Picking Committee needs a bit of assistance this year."

No, she couldn't let his presence run her life. Yes, it was going to be awful, but why should she let her feelings for him get in the way of something that could be meaningful. And the way he was talking about it- it seemed liked he might not even go. "In that case," Lydia said pleasantly or at least trying to sound so, "I would love to go."

"Oh good," said Narcissa, "It's always a splendid time, though I will admit the work is a bit hard. But I think it's worth it to have a Christmas tree to dance around."

"Speaking of dancing," Lucius drawled, "What is a good Christmas tree to Lydia if she can't dance? Cissa, would play us a waltz?"

The blonde woman detached herself from her husband, and Lydia watched with uneasy eyes as Narcissa glided to the magnificent grand piano diagonal them. Narcissa's presence was something Lydia greatly appreciated- keeping her leveled. With Narcissa at her side, Lydia was too concerned with looking sophisticated to think about the dark haired boy, now lurking under the awnings of the room.

Slowly a quiet song began to crescendo under Narcissa's fingers, flowing in the cool harmonics of the room. The waltz was at a walking pace, but the woman's hands were dancing like fire. Narcissa looked enraptured, smiling over her shoulder at Lydia and Lucius, and Lydia suddenly felt a pang of desire. She wished she could play like that.

Looking serious, Lucius started towards her, "Now, dancing is the most important tool a lady like yourself can have. We gentlemen have our cigars and brandy to rattle information out of others, but for a lady, such activities are frowned upon. Dancing, however, is something envied- a proper flirtation that is bound to break a Fidelius Charm if done properly."

For some reason, dancing didn't sound nearly as appropriate as she thought. It sounded more like scandal and manipulation than anything else. Lydia wasn't one for mind games and the more Mr. Malfoy spoke, the more nervous she felt. It was not like she was pretty, or charming, or even graceful. Dancing was hard enough without worrying about unraveling some dirty secret about her partner. And why would she need to anyway?

"Mr. Malfoy-" Lydia begain.

"It's Lucius."

The girl gave a nervous smile, acknowledging him, "Lucius- I don't see why I would ever need to get information out of anyone."

Suddenly Mr. Malfoy's smirk turned bitter and across the room, there came a snort- Severus. Lydia looked down, feeling the heat on her cheeks and the urge to pick at her nails was unbearable. She felt like a total and complete child, but it was true! She did not see the use of this. "I apologize," she said quietly, "I've said something wrong."

"No, no," Lucius insisted, "I just don't think you're fully aware of your position now, girl."

Position? And what position would that be? She was a school girl- a child. She was a mere book keeper's daughter- not anyone of position, "Sir?"

Lucius laughed, causing Narcissa to send a wary look in his direction, "Lucius, please-"

"For such a smart girl, I think you would have put two and two together, Miss Lachlan," he barked, looking smug and incredulous at the same time, "You do realize you are without family, girl? You no longer have a home or any assets to fund the rest of your underage days. You are an orphan and a very poor one at that."

The words hit Lydia like snow in a fierce wind, cutting the skin on her cheeks and around her eyes. She could feel the color draining from her face as each syllable hit home. The way he was saying these things- they were true and _harsh_, so harsh. And she knew them- had known them, but suddenly it was so much more real and so much more degrading.

And it all came together. She was nothing. She was no one.

And she was going to have to climb her way back to the top.

The realization was scathing. She was starting over. She was a clean slate. And the Malfoys were giving her this chance.

"You're lucky you have us, Lydia," Mr. Malfoy continued, "We are here to help you find a place in this world. I like you, child. I like you very much and would like very much for a smart girl like you to be successful. You are not going to be able to do that with the lousy inheritance your father left you. Do you understand that, girl?"

Her voice felt raw and crackly in her mouth, like something foreign- something that wasn't her own, "Yes, sir."

"And you realize there's only one way for a girl like yourself to succeed in a world like this, don't you?"

No, no she didn't. She had always planned on going to a university after school- becoming an Unspeakable or worse, working in the shop. But there were hundreds of other options out there to be successful for a girl. It wasn't like this was the Middle Ages. What was he talking about? "I'm afraid I don't know what you mean."

"Marriage, Lydia. I'm speaking of marriage."

_Marriage?_

What? Marriage? He was speaking of marriage? But- but she was only sixteen. She wasn't even legal yet. She hadn't even passed her NEWTS! For Merlin's sake, why could marriage be her only option? "Bur sir, I've never planned on marriage as such a sustaining factor in my life. I've always thought to go into the Department of Mysteries- become an Unspeakable. There's hardly any room for marriage with a career like tha-"

"Silly girl… Don't you get it? Both your father and your mother are dead- murdered. You are a target and the only thing keeping you alive is your association to _me_." he hissed, causing Narcissa to cringe on the piano bench. And Severus- well, Lydia had no idea what Severus was doing. She was too ashamed to look at him.

With the new tone in his voice, Lydia's posture grew tense and she began to bite the inside of her lip nervously.

"But my ties can't keep you safe forever. You know that. They are too weak- no binding factor other than fondness and friendship. But marriage- to someone of pureblood notoriety- that would keep you safe. That would keep you sound," Lucius sighed, "I don't mean to upset you, child. I'm only trying to help you."

Lydia felt sick to her stomach. Yes, she was a half-blood, she knew. But the threat had never been as great as this. She had always thought she could depend on herself to stay out of the Death Eaters ways. Why did she need marriage? Was it really that dangerous?

"I'm that great of a target?"

Lucius gave a chuckle, "Lydia, dear girl, you know what your mother was?"

She swallowed, looking down in shame, "A muggle-born, sir." She had never felt dirtier- here, in front of the notorious Lucius Malfoy- with muggle blood flowing through her veins.

"Yes, of course. But not that, girl- your mother, Katherine Scott, was not only a muggle-born, but the Ministry's most valued Unspeakable. And not to mention your father was the Wizarding World's number one source in the history of the Dark Arts."

Lydia's thoughts came to a screeching halt, "My father had nothing to do with the Dark Arts. He was an honest man," she said fiercely, feeling her throat clench in anger. But the anger slipped away quickly as she realized exactly what she had said and more exactly to whom. She looked down as his gaze turned harshly on her, scolding and patronizing.

"You're father would have been the Dark Lord's greatest resource had it not been for your mother's charms," he said it gently, breaking it to her in a way. But for some reason, it did not feel like that.

Lydia started shaking her head and for some reason she couldn't really explain, she took a step back, "No," she said, "My father was an honest man. He never did anything wrong." _He never wanted me to do anything wrong._

"Lucius," Narcissa said desperately, "Stop, you're upset-"

But he answered sternly with finality, "No. Lydia, you are the daughter of two very intelligent beings and they have left behind many secrets that are only yours to know. The tests of time have made you no one, but I," he paused, "am giving you a chance. Will you take it?"

A chance. A chance to make her own way- to live, to breathe. To wear fancy dresses and go to balls and to be a princess. That was the life he was offering her with a husband to seal the deal. Suddenly, she was like any other rich pureblood girl and she had a chance, an option. She wouldn't have to work her way from the bottom. Lucius Malfoy was immediately putting her on the top.

But did she want it?

Suddenly her thoughts flew to the dark haired boy across the room and so did her gaze. His black eyes were watching her intently, waiting for any sign. And then, she had her answer.

If it would impress him- make him look at her differently… then…and maybe he could be…?

"Yes." She said it quietly but firmly, looking back at Lucius.

But she did not see Severus, scoffing and shaking his head fiercely as he turned. And she did not see Narcissa laying her forehead above the piano's keys. She hadn't even noticing them holding their breath.

It was done.

Lucius smirked, holding out his hand with a bow, "Then let's dance, shall we?"

Lydia took his hold with a smile, placing her free hand on his shoulder as his grip fell upon her waist. She felt immediately uncomfortable and awkward, but tried to hide it by looking at her feet. It was odd to be in the arms of a man she barely knew, but she better get used to it. More awkwardness was coming with the mere thought of the approaching gala.

"Follow my lead, and count. It's only in three and not hard in the least."

And she did. It was hard, Lydia found, but after fifteen minutes or so of spinning around the room, she found it easier to keep with the down beats of the song, stepping in the right direction and following Lucius as he moved. Yes, she was getting the hang of it, but she certainly wasn't good. Her actions were still clumsy and quick, but Lucius promised she would get better with practice.

The song eventually slowed and came to a quiet end, with Mr. Malfoy detaching gently from the girl, "Good show," he said with a bow.

"Thank you."

Narcissa was approaching them with a bright smile- too bright a smile- on her face, "No doubt every eye will be on you at the Gala. That was marvelous."

"For a cripple," barked Snape from his corner and Lydia immediately flushed. She wasn't saying she was perfect or anything. No one was.

But Narcissa just laughed, "And I'd like to see you do better."

"Easily."

"Then let's see it." It was Lucius who spoke, a glint in his eye. He was looking at Severus oddly, his head tilted in the least bit. "Why don't you dance with Lydia?"

Severus snorted, "On a cold day in Hell perhaps."

"Oh, come on Severus!" Narcissa said, loving the idea, "You can dance with Lydia and I'll take Lucius for a spin. It will be fun."

Lydia was starting to feel sick again. Dancing with Lucius was stressful enough- but Severus? Severus who she never wanted to be near again. Who she never wanted to touch or kiss or think anything of…….

No. Definitely no. She did not want to dance with that bastard.

"I hate dancing," said Severus dryly.

"No," Lucius said with a smirk, "You just hate people. Dance with Lydia. She's splendid at it."

"You dance with her if she's so splendid."

Narcissa frowned, "Severus, no need to be rude."

"Not rude- logical."

"Yes, yes, we've heard it all before," Lucius said, grabbing his wife by the waist and pulling her close. With a flick of his wand, the piano keys began to move on their own, playing gently in another waltz. "But if you don't dance with poor Lydia now (don't believe a word Severus is saying, Lydia girl), I will be very pleased to sign Gretchen Meliflua on your dance card multiple times." Lucius sent the boy a smirk, twisting Narcissa around the room in a graceful step. Just another of Narcissa's fine qualities- she really could dance, and so could Mr. Malfoy for that matter.

"You wouldn't," Severus hissed, looking dangerously at the blonde man.

"I rarely jest about these sorts of things." Another smirk with a delighted laugh from Narcissa.

"Come on, Severus, stop being such a sorry sport," she said.

Lucius gave him another meaningful look. And if Snape had a knife on him, Lydia was sure it would be sticking right out of Lucius's chest right now.

"Really," Lydia said hurriedly, "Severus doesn't have to dance with me."

With the look Severus sent her, Lydia was pretty sure she had just said the wrong thing. Suddenly, that hostility in his scowl turned into something daring and he stalked forward. With a stiff bow, he held out his hand and Lydia froze.

She just stared at him, feeling her limbs tense with anxiety. Why was he doing this? Was he insane or did he just want to torture her? She didn't understand. "I'm not feeling too well," she said honestly, turning desperately to Narcissa. The blonde was still swaying across the room with her husband.

"Do you want to retire?" Narcissa called across the floor, but Lucius twisted her away.

"Posh girl, you were fine just a moment passed," the man cut in, "Don't be nervous. Severus is a solid dancer. He won't hurt your feet too terribly."

_Gee thanks for the help…._

Lydia could feel Severus's gaze on her like a stabbing icicle and she turned to him in unease.

"I won't bite," he said darkly, black eyes blazing in all the things she could not identify.

She had no choice. She was trapped.

And so, she took his hand.

His touch was cold, like there was no blood flowing in his veins. But at the same time it was burning and if Lydia had not been red enough before, she felt the heat flame in her cheeks once more. She could feel his other hand wrapping around her waist and immediately was thrown back to earlier that day in the library, her gaze now settled, unfortunately on his lips. Her breathing became tight and she almost forgot to raise her own hand to Severus's shoulder. Her senses were too overwhelmed and she could smell him- smoke and sage clinging to her nose.

Suddenly, her feet were moving and it was like she was hanging on for dear life. Lydia was trying her best not to look up at him, but she couldn't avoid his eyes and they were boring into her painfully. The sound of the music disappeared and all she could hear was his breathing mixed with hers, quiet at first- growing ragged with each passing moment. His expression was indescribable. She wanted to say it was cruel, but despairing? She honestly couldn't tell. Lydia had never been good with reading people.

But they weren't dancing anymore- they were gliding across a sea of black and all she could see or feel or hear was him before her. She felt faint and ready to break down- more tired than she had ever been. This was torture. This was agony. Part of her wanted to rise up on her toes and kiss him while half of her wanted to run away. The confliction was turning her mad.

And then, his face was lowering to hers and uncontrollably, she was lifting up her chin to meet him. His breath on her face was cold and delicately her lips parted. They had stopped moving, she realized suddenly and he was pulling her closer. Her eyes stayed trained on his and she saw something different there- something she had seen in the library. Something more than hatred maybe? He was looking at her with something new and almost in wonderment and Lydia's lips turned up the slightest bit. Maybe she had been wrong. Maybe… oh Rowena, she didn't know.

What she did know was that she wanted him to kiss her- badly.

But then, he froze. His eyes suddenly glazed over and quickly, he was detaching himself from her. She could barely comprehend what was happening until he was walking across the ballroom, robes billowing as the door slammed. The sound echoed through out the hall with screaming finality.

Lydia could only stand there, stiff and alarmed. Too confused to move or to walk away. It had not sunk in what just happened yet. And she was still going over it mercilessly in her head.

She and Severus had almost kissed. Not like the kiss this morning, but something real- something wanted.

And he had pulled away.

Lydia was shocked, purely shocked.

It wasn't until she felt a hand on her shoulder that Lydia looked away from the door. Narcissa was standing beside her, looking concerned.

"Lydia?" she said hesitantly and the girl just shook her head.

"I honestly have no idea," she said hopelessly, looking back to the door. Lucius was now walking across her gaze, out the same exit Severus had taken, looking stern. Turning back to Narcissa, she said, "May I retire?"

The blonde smiled, "I think that would be a good idea for both of us."

And silently, they walked up to their separate quarters, never speaking of what just happened in the ballroom below. When Lydia reached her room, she paused, looking across the hall to where Severus was staying.

What in Rowena's name was going on?

**xxx**

**A/N**- Hey there! Sorry about the bit of delay on this chapter. No, don't fear I am back. I just have mid-terms next week and being a dork, I've been studying A LOT. This chapter also ended up longer than most. It just wouldn't seem to end.

I will be completely honest here and say I am back for good. I'll explain my absence if you care. The only writing I had done up until the drop off of this story was simply fanfiction. I have multiple names and multiple stories. I had never written anything before I wrote Storms- which is possibly some of the worst writing I have ever seen in my entire life. Even this story, I still think is absolutely atrocious, especially at the beginning. But fanfiction worked as a practice to become a different person and writer. Through fanfiction, I began to start writing my own original work, but at times I felt it was a little close to some of the fanfiction characters and ideas I had already explored or written. So, to pursue a short story idea I had, I dropped off all ties with fanfiction. I didn't read them or write them. Silly, I know, but through that I was able to develop something that was entirely my own and I am still developing it. I'm not done with that story and it is a work in progress, but I feel at this point, I'm enough of my own writer to do two things at once. And this stupid story just kept calling me back. I read it over a few weeks ago and suddenly some inspiration popped into my head and I've been obsessed with finishing this ever since. It will be finished- not soon. I'm just coming to grips with how long this story will be, but I will put updates up at least once a week, sometimes more. I can only thank you readers for still reading and I am terribly, terribly sorry that I left you all hanging. I promise it won't happen again.

For those who would like to read any of my original work that kept me from this, I have a livejournal dedicated purely to my own original writing. The name is **shortcomings** and it is friends only. If you have a livejournal and would like to see some of my stuff, just leave me a comment saying that you're one of my readers and I would be happy to add you. I love feedback, especially on my original stuff and if some of you guys do join, I might put some fanfiction cookies up there every once in a while.

Now, I must thank all my lovely reviewers. You guys are amazing and I love you all to death. Thank you so much for sticking with this story and I hope you'll stick with it a little longer.

**Growlithe**- Haha, I'm completely, totally, and utterly back. Not sort ofs in sight. Thank you for the brownies and for the review! Here, have some cookies!

**Agent Alpha**- I am SO sorry! No fear, I shall keep the updates regular and snappy. No more cliffhangers, I promise.

**Daughter of Darkness777**- Haha, I am so glad you stuck with the story. Huggles you! It's not going to be totally AU, but there are obviously some liberties I took with Severus's past and I don't plan on changing them. I'm not sure how AU it will be with how things work out in the future. I am definitely going to use what happened in HBP later on in the story, as the story will span that longer and longer. But some things are going to be different and some are going to be the same. But hey, its fanfiction. No harm done. And don't worry, updates will be at least once a week if not more often than that.

**FAeOfDaRkNeSs**- Thank you so much! You're making me blush horribly. Don't worry, no more hiatuses here.

**An Anti-Sheep Cheese Muffin**- Huggles you too! I'm so glad you stayed with the story and awkwardness away!

**Blairwitch.13**- Thank you so much. Yes, there are quite a few grammar mistakes. I'll be honest- I'm terrible with spelling and grammar. I've also never had a beta reader for this story, purely because I like my writing to flow with each chapter and waiting for a beta is always a pain. I am definitely finishing and I don't know if I can promise a happy ending. I have at least four different endings in my head and some of them are happy, some of them are iffy, and some of them are bad. I personally don't like unhappy ending too much, so I don't know how things will turn out. I'm actually working on a short story right now as stated up there, but I don't know if I'll try to publish it. Thanks so much!

**REVIEWERS GIVE ME GREAT MOTIVATION TO WRITE AND I WILL PUT EVEN MORE AND MORE CHAPTERS UP IF I GET SOME NICE RAMBLY REVIEWS! THEY MAKE MY DAY! I LOVE YOU GUYS! PLEASE REVIEW!**


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